Is it madness to be considering working from home with baby in house?

[snhall]

Hello, new here. I am 9 mths pregnant with my first child (no experience of babies before!) and had initally planned to put in a flexible working request with my employer asking to move from a standard 5 days in the office, to 2 days in office, 3 days working from home. The 3 days working from home I would ask to have true flexibility on my hours - so maybe keep a timesheet, but basically be able to dip in and out of work in order to care for baby too. Is this madness? My job is fairly self contained - ie its not like I would need to be on the phone a lot to customers etc.

I am starting to be a little more realistic and thinking that on the 3 days I WFH that I could get childcare for maybe a set 2-3 hours to give me a set time when I know I'll be able to get stuff done (and the office know I'll be contactable).

What do you think? My employer has an existing culture of homeworking and a flexitime system (tho rarely used). Their paperwork does say that they won't agree a homeworking request as an alternative to child care arrangements.

Has anyone done anything similar??

Sometimes it's neccessary.

Even though I've paid taxes for the last 15 years, I was able to claim £400 per month.

I cannot live on that, so HAD to go back to work and HAD to go back without paying for childcare.

It was the best option for me. and it IS possible. I am living proof it's possible.

Absolutely - The SeriousOne - it IS possible. But it comes at a price, doesn't it? Over a period of three/four years that price really increases so if the OP has an alternative I reckon she should take it. If not - she needs to batten down the hatches and be prepared for the genuinely hard graft that lies ahead!

Yes, it comes at a price and it gets harder, I reckon. My DS is only 6months old., so asleep by 8pm so I can easily fit 3 hours work in, plus an hour or two during the day to send e-mails etc., but it does make me less inclinded to leave the house as (if DS sleeps while we are out) he won't sleep at home when I need to work, and already I can see he wants to help me type which can be a bit of a hindrance!!

SeriousOne - your working patterns sound very similar to mine up until the dcs went to state nursery when they were three. Hats off to you - I know what it takes.

I agree it can be done - but not to extent you mention i.e. 3 full days without childcare. I temporarily worked 1 day at home and 3 at work plus one day annual leave. This actually equated to 2 days of dipping in during the day while DD slept - about 2 hours achieved per day max. Then having to work in the evenings a couple of nights a week to make up the rest (7.5 hours required in total). So in reality the one day off a week I was meant to get wasn't a day off at all, plus 2 evenings doing a bit more work - all very tiring and stressful, and very little housework got done either (but DH pulled his weight in that department ) Thank god I am part time now, got to do more housework though.

No, sorry, absolutely, It CAN be done. I look after DS alone, I look after the house alone and I work.

But it is tought and (as I said above and Lulu said the same) it gets tougher as they get older.

But it can be done.

Serious One you do 2.5 days per week (approx 5 hours per day therefore spread over 5 days) but the OP is talking about doing 3 days at home in 3 days, and then working the other 2 days at work. These are different situations.

Yes, what you do is very hard SeriousOne, but what the OP proposes seems to me to be impossible, unless she has really extraordinary stamina and needs almost no sleep

snhall, you are assuming your baby will be easy ...

Sorry, I see tellnoone's point. I actually do 2.5 days spread over 7 days, as I can work at weekends too.

So, it fits in when the baby is sleeping.

I agree that when the baby is awake you need to be able to devote the time to the baby.

seriousone and lulu, i do the same. have been back working since dd2 was 8 weeks, just doing half my usual freelance work. i like it, tbh, makes me feel like my brain won't seize up completely. but dh works from home as well, this makes a big difference for those 'i have to call this person Right Now' moments.
and a sling. oh yes, a good wrappy sling.

if i had the option of some core 2-3 hours childcare in the day, though, i'd take it.

I am a mum and know how difficult to get anything done with children at home. Babies, toddlers, and preschoolers all have differing needs and looking after them is a full time job, yes you may be able to do 5 miniute jobs like the washing up, pegging a line of clothes out but quite often I rarely have time to have a shower or go to the loo uninterupted.

I am also a line manager of staff in the public sector and I would never approve a working from home application for a 7.5 hr day unless there was child care in place, unless child was in school full time.

i love how the people on here who are actually Doing It keep being told it's impossible.

When a baby is 6 months old, it is a very different proposition to when they are mobile and sleep less. 6 months old is probably the optimum time - they don't move much, but are reasonably settled in terms of sleep and feed times.

Once they are more interactive, I really don't think it is fair to the child be in the house as the only carer but not 'available' for significant chunks of time. Being a mother/parent/carer is a full-time job.

I totally disagree, MummyGOrilla. I cannot, and do not wish to, live on benefits. I refuse to do that.

I agree with AITCH - People told me that I wouldn't be able to look after a newborn on my own and, err... I did. People said I couldn't go back to work when he was 5 months and I did, I have and we are doing fine.

Now, you tell me I won't be able to do when he's older.... Well, I have news for you, MummyGOrilla. I will, I will still be a wonderful mum, I will still spend every single moment doing what is right for my son. NO QUESTION.

Working to provide for myself and my son is the right thing for me and you have no right to tell me that's not fair. Sorry, but you don't.

I'm not saying your arrangement can't work, Serious - sorry to have offended you. But trying to hold down the hours the OP is suggesting, on the basis she is suggesting, is, in my view, not fair on the child.

What you do clearly manageable - you are still allowing significant amounts of time within each week to look after your child. But trying to work full-time hours with a minority covered by childcare is not, in my opinion, workable.

Sorry, didn't mean to come across as offended. It just can be done. maybe not at the levels the OP was suggesting, I agree, but it is possible to work out a way to make sure your child is well looked after and also benefits from understanding that money doesn't grow on trees... that was my point... I do make sure that my DS is the most important element of my life, but it is important, also, that I take responsibility for his financial welfare as much as his emotional and physical welfare IYSWIM.

I do admire that Serious - hope that doesn't sound patronising! I've been really keen to teach my children the value of work/money etc too. To an extent, it's the perennial work/stay at home dilemma. Everyone reaches the balance that it right for them and their family, and not everyone agrees with their decision.

I've been there myself - worked in the office, tried working at home with the children around, freelancing and as an employee. But what the OP was suggesting is, to me, the worst of all worlds.

No, not patronising at all. I feel happy with my choices. I feel this is my best option.

No, not everyone will agree, and every situation is different, but I tihnk it's unfair for new mums to be told it's unfair not to work, but then they take it on the chin for being on benefits....

I just want to say to mums: YOu know, it depends on a million things, but it IS possible, you don't have to think it's not possible... that's all.

ACK, Obviously I meant unfair to work

silly me.

take the childcare option, OP. if you can get a granny to take the baby out every afternoon you'll get loads done. seriously, when you become a parent you suddenly wonder what you were doing in that 9-5. so many of my friends have gone back to work part-time and find that they get so much more done.
how well it will work will depend on how the baby sleeps, at the end of the day. dd1 was a doddle for us to have in the house, she was a major napper. dd2 looks like she's goinig to be more interesting...

I wasn't saying what people are actually doing is impossible; that would be foolish. I was saying what the OP proposed did not sound possible. But perhaps I meant likely to be no fun and seriously frazzling...

I think you might also be getting a bit ahead of yourself in relation to this issue. Your employer's policy makes it very clear that they will not agree homeworking as an alternative to childcare. It is therefore almost certain that your flexible working request will be turned down if you submit it on this basis (and they will be on strong legal grounds if they do turn it down). As well as what people have said about feasibility, I think you need to seriously prepare yourself for a no if you make this request and start thinking about other options.

Sorry. Don't mean to sound harsh.