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Original poster

dh's company making veiling threats

29 replies

SaintRiven · 09/10/2008 14:02

they know he ca't work full time cos of his caring duties and they know he can't go on conferences or work away from the city.
Now they are making veiling threats about his job if he doesn't agree to some conference on 6th nov.
I thought the new Carers laws stopped companies doing that to carers?
Any ideas?

OP posts:
Original poster
SaintRiven · 09/10/2008 14:02

that should be veiled threats

OP posts:
ilovemydog · 09/10/2008 14:09

what have they said?

Original poster
SaintRiven · 09/10/2008 14:13

pretty much that he should sort out his 'domestic problems' and attend this conference.
His domestic problems being me and dd of course.
Unless we can get respite cover until 6pm and they can feed her and she doesn't have a seizure then he can't go.
But they worded it in a threatening manner.
He's not told them yet he's never going back full time either.

OP posts:
flowerybeanbag · 09/10/2008 14:15

Has he requested flexible working because of caring responsibilities, ie less hours and no away trips? What does his contract say about those?

compo · 09/10/2008 14:17

is he a carer to your dd or are you?
why can't he go to the conference?

ilovemydog · 09/10/2008 14:20

Flowery - am wondering whether disability discrim would be valid here based on caring for a dependent disabled child? Oh, to have lexis/nexis!

flowerybeanbag · 09/10/2008 14:23

hmm.

hang on

Original poster
SaintRiven · 09/10/2008 14:24

no contract but when it became apparent how much care dd needed his boss was happy to let him go part time for a few years as long as he still produced patents and ideas etc so nothing was in writing.
I have multiple sclerosis so can't even lift dd (she is quadraplegic) so dh is the main carer of her and me. And trying to do a few hours of work each week to keep his sanity and his job open.
So if he gos off to a conference I can't lift her from her wheelchair, change her nappy or feed her. Even holding her is tough cos she arces backwards uncontrollably.
Sigh.

OP posts:
flowerybeanbag · 09/10/2008 14:24

Can't find anything along those lines ilove.

Original poster
SaintRiven · 09/10/2008 14:27

sometimes I think he should give up completely BUT
he's over 40 and would never get another job, especially flexible from word go.
He is very specialised and BAe is one of three places in country that do this high level research
I'd go nuts if he was under my feet for the next 30 years. Its been tough already.
We'd be even more skint
he likes working and doing research.

OP posts:
SongbirdScreamsInTheDeadOfNite · 09/10/2008 14:29

Riven, sorry for the hijack, someone's looking for you here

Ripeberry · 09/10/2008 14:37

Riven, do you live in the Bristol area? Is there no-one at all that can help? Do you have any home help?
There must be some way of getting a carer to you.

BetsyBoop · 09/10/2008 14:46

If this conference is "so essential" could DH go as a one-off IF DH's company would pay for the extra care/support you would need to cover his absence?

ilovemydog · 09/10/2008 14:50

Flowery - but doesn't one have the right to reasonable time off to care for dependants? (quite aside from flexible working) For instance, if riven's DH was disciplined or whatever for this, then it seems to me that it would need to be taken into account that he has a disabled daughter who relies on him....

Riven, what agreement does your DH have with his work as far as his caring commitments? Or is it just an informal thing?

flowerybeanbag · 09/10/2008 14:51

If they know he can't go to conferences and that's normally not a problem, why do you think this one is a problem? Presumably this one is more important for some reason?

If it is so essential are they seriously threatening to sack him just for not going, for one day? Might there be any more to it at all?

flowerybeanbag · 09/10/2008 14:54

Ilove, yes, he has right to emergency leave for dependents, which would include disabled family members, but that doesn't get him out of pre-arranged conferences, and as you've said, to flexible working for caring responsibilities, under which he could include a request to not have to go to conferences.

Disability discrimination doesn't apply, as he's not disabled, his wife and daughter are. Having said that, if he were disciplined and they imposed a hefty warning just for not attending this one conference, and he had made every effort to find alternative care for one day, that could be unreasonably harsh and he could appeal.

But I don't think DDA applies.

flowerybeanbag · 09/10/2008 14:55

As far as I can tell anyway.

compo · 09/10/2008 15:54

crumbs, sorry riven didn't know yu had ms

RibenaBerry · 09/10/2008 16:26

Flowery - Have you seen the ECJ case of Attridge? It is looking likely that the carers of disabled employees can use the DDA...

Riven, has your DH actually asked why this conference is so important when others weren't? That will help you decide as a couple whether it is worth making a superhuman effort for him to get to this one.

In terms of the legals, if you want to hold firm I would spell out the reasons your DH cannot attend. I think that they would be on very risky ground given the recent case law I just mentioned to fire him for not being able to attend. Also, is it possible that work simply do not understand HOW difficult it would be. Even if they know that he is a carer, it is very easy for someone who has not been in that position to think "It's only one day (or whatever). Why can't he just do it for a day." If whoever is making this request fully understands what it means, they may well alter their view.

ilovemydog · 09/10/2008 16:27

that's the one!

RibenaBerry · 09/10/2008 16:32

Just realised the typo in that last post. It should say "employees who are the carers of disabled people can use the DDA."

Original poster
SaintRiven · 09/10/2008 16:48

no-one ever gets sacked cos they are carers though. They make up something else and who can take on BAe? even the Govt dropped the bribery charges against the fuckers.

OP posts:
RibenaBerry · 09/10/2008 17:00

Riven - don't think like that. Actually, in discrimination cases the employer has to prove their innocence, not the other way round. I know you don't want to have to go there but...

flowerybeanbag · 09/10/2008 17:23

I have not seen that Ribena, thanks for that. See, good job I inserted my disclaimer..

Riven I would probably advise you don't say who your DH works for tbh, but having said that, the fact that it's a very big company with expensive lawyers isn't completely a bad thing. Publicity for example.

It sounds as though, should your DH be sacked for this, there is some case law which may help him, which is great. But I still maintain that it's highly unlikely they'd sack him for not attending one single conference.

woodstock3 · 11/10/2008 20:40

not a lawyer either but this case is relevant isnt it?
www.guardian.co.uk/society/2008/feb/01/children.disability
more usefully, agree with betsyboop that as a last resort he could offer to go if they will pay for the respite care necessary as a legitimate business expense.

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