Anyone up for a going back to work support thread?

[MissLiss]

I'm due back in 3 weeks. Having the usual feelings of dread/nausea/will they remember me-type-stuff. But I've got to do it. Anyone want to hand hold??!?

Can I join in.

I'm going back to work sept 11th , DS will be 8 months and she'll be looked after by my sister or DP.

I was planning on taking the whole year but because my SMP money stops next month I have to go back to afford christmas. DP can give me no more for a nice christmas he pays for EVERYTHING atm as it is . Any luxuries I want I have to pay for which is fair enough I suppose.

I have 2 other children and I like to make christmas nice for them.

I'll see what happens after christmas I could leave but we'd be 'living' on DP's money and not having extras.

Dont want to go back, but feel I have to.

It is really difficult isn't it Shinyshoes cos when I am moaning about having to go back I wonder if some people are thinking that I could stay at home if I really, really wanted to but it would mean literally paying the bills and no extras whatsoever.

I have been speaking to a couple of people re returning to work and they all say the same thing without fail - it is hard but your LO adapts v.quickly. The traitors! I just hope I don't miss any of the big milestones like crawling for the first time .

Hi LOM! I am teacher too, have you done any lesson planning etc yet? I haven't anything!

Can I join too please?
I go back to work next Monday only 3 days a week. I don't want to leave my boys but Keep repeating to myself its for the money so we can go out for days on my days off ( and so I can go to the pub)
How has everyone who has gone back found their little ones have settled with other people?

I had my first day back on Monday. Tbh, the reality wasn't actually as bad as the thought of it. But it's going to take a while to adjust. DS2 was a little unsettled, poor thing, and a bit tearful, but SO pleased to see me it made the whole day worthwhile. Fortunately I had managed to settle him down for his morning nap before I left. During the day he managed a little milk from a cup but had a massive breastfeed when I got home pretty much until he went to bed, much to DS1's disgust!

Despite my 11 months away from work, nothing much had changed and I was surprised how quickly it all came flooding back - by 10am I felt like I'd never been away. And my employers are still exactly the same .... some things don't change

well done MissLiss!!
Good to hear its not going ot be as bad as we might think.

Having said all that, today has been a bit hard going. And I haven't even been at work - that's not until tomorrow! DS2 screaming whenever I'm out of sight, wanting to feed all the time (not like him at all) and DS1 has been grumpy and jealous (again, not like him at all).

I know it's a big adjustment for them both, but I feel a bit blue knowing that I've turned their little routines upside down.

With my sensible hat on, I know it will get better. I just really wanted to enjoy these few days with them, and I haven't

I feel very guilty when I leave DD crying at the nursery every am (this is her 2nd week).. . I cannot see the day she will be happy of going there. I know it will happen, but I cannot see the day. But, like MissLiss says, it is so nice when you pick them up and they run to you and give you a big smile and hug. They do not hate us and they do not forget us (even though they spend so many hours with other people).
And that is another thing that worries me: that DD spends so much time with others that she will forget that I am her mum, that she gives her love, cuddles, kisses, smiles to them.... It does never look like we do spend enough time together (even if we are 24/7 !!).
But it has to be done, to need to make some sacrifices now for them to have a better future.
I would love to stay at home and spend more time with her, take her to parks, playgroups and all those things. But we cannot financially afford it, IUKWIM. Mortgage and bills need to be paid..

But we have our little ones and we have to enjoy them and make the most of it (trying to be as positive as possible!) while we can.

At work I started to feel as if I had never left... . So still trying to take it easy as my boss told me, I do not want to be stressed out already.

Now a bit of reading and a bit of tv with a nice cup of tea and tomorrow will be another day.

thank god I have found this thread.
going back next month and feeling weepy.

Love being with my girls...don't want it to end.

Gita i cried at your message.............. i too am soo scared DS is going to share all his cuddles, smiles and laughter with someone else. I too am worried that he;ll forget me bu i know that when he sees me he'll know i'm his mum.

DH working late tonight so feeling a bit sorry for myself, i know that i;ll feel better about it soon.

Wouldn;t it be great to take our LO's with us to work... hide them under our desks

Greedy - I've not really done any planning yet. I might start thinking about it next week.

Gita - Sounds like it's hard for you. But I guess we all have to do what's necessary to keep the wheels turning.

MissLiss - Glad it all went ok for you.

Left DS with the CMer for two hour today. He was perfectly happy which is a huge relief.

Mine we are on the same boat... Take them to work under the desk??? Uuuufffff!!!! Would love to, but I do not think so.... You know what? I had a pic of DD at work, little one, but I decided to remove it this am... Every time I look at it I start thinking: "Is she ok?", "she must be eating now", "what is she eating?", "is she eating all?", "is she playing?", "is she having fun?", "is she happy?"........ So imagine.
She did not cry much this am when I left her. Relief. But she was tearful and had that face of: "do not leave me mummy"
But we have to be strong: they are having fun and learning loads of things. And they DO love us the same.
Aaaaaahhhhhhh!

She is due for her MMR tomorrow... Crossing my fingers for her not to have any reaction whatsoever.

Headache today, probably from the computer at work.... back to normal...

Anyway, girls, have a good evening and for the ones due to start very soon: do not think about it and enjoy the full days you have left

Had a busy first day back. It scarily clicked into place like I never left.
Gita - dd is at work with me at my desk, its interesting keeping her amused with a highlighter pen and steering my mug/ stapler/ paperwork away from her prying hands. It works pretty well considering!
Today was a full day in the office which won't be the norm, only 5hrs a day. But god, I'm shattered, my eyes are closing and my body is aching - I've only sat at the desk!

Ambi... how do you manage to get some work done with DD at your desk??? Mind if I ask what do you do?? Must be a very special job for you to be able to do that... I couldn't... I work in a big open plan office and impossible to have any kids around...

Today DD did not cry when we left her at the nursery and it was DH and myself going... Keep my fingers crossed for tomorrow...

hi everyone, glad to hear no tears today Gita! I popped into work with my LO this afternoon to try and get my head around my timetable etc. My boss could not be more supportive of me continuing to bf, she has made a room available for expressing, adjusted my hours slightly - she is fab! Also the woman who covered my maternity is now permanent and scarily organised but that can only be a good thing cos I am not! So everything is as good as it possibly can be considering I would rather be at home with my LO. Doing a proper trial run this Friday with LO at MIL's house - it will be longest I have ever been away from my DS! I am really hoping it goes well because then I will feel more relaxed about the real thing. Wish me luck...

Oooh can I join?

I am back in 3 weeks, started settling in sessions at nursery and DD loves it, she is still quite little so think I have caught her before all the sep anxiety kicks in.

Done a couple of days in the office and was so busy I didn't have much time to dwell which is good!

Hello. I am also starting to dread going back to work. I've been off since Christmas and go back on 1 October. I am hoping it will be 4 days a week, one of which will be at home but am having lunch with my boss on Thursday to confirm. Am really scared and am dreading leaving DS who seems so attached to me. I did it before with DD who is now nearly 4 and loves nursery but somehow it doesn't make it any better. I love being at home but am the main earner and so we cannot afford our house if I don't go back.

I will let you know how it goes with my boss.

Ewe - how old is your LO? Mine will be 7 months old which I hope is an ok age, a bit too early for really bad separation anxiety.

Gita- I work in an open plan office too, I'm a financial manager for an electronics company, so I have to concentrate. The boss had his son in since he was a baby and his baby sister is in the office now too, there'll be more babies than staff soon! I'll be doing only 5hrs a day from next week onwards and she naps in the travel cot for a few hrs anyway so it shouldn't be too bad.
Greedygirl- I had my first day away from dd today, it was strange. Upset that she didn't miss me but happy she was fine for my mum.

I'm in full time this week to get to grips with everything again and I've asked my mum and mil to watch her just this week whilst I get into the swing of working again. Next week will be the interesting job of having dd sat in my desk in her bumbo, whilst I'm working away.

My DD is 5months and when she starts (8th Sept) she will be a week shy of six months. Apart from bedtime when she only really wants me she will go to anyone who has milk/toys/cuddles so hope the transition will be ok for her.

Awful for me though! Although am waiting confirmation on working 4days p/week which will make me feel much better

Would love to take DD to work but she hardly sleeps and they would never let me!

Stella, you might find the breastfeeding thing easier than you think. DS2 manages without until I get home, and is still feeding as much as ever during my days off. I haven't needed to express at all, thankfully - we manage just with a big feed when I get in. And he's the same age as your DS.

Ditto about the sulking - but hey, I get paid tomorrow!!! For the first time in nearly a year!! So I'm going to take my boys on a day trip next week and have lunch out with them to remind myself of the real (and only) reason why I'm away from them. And it's a good, valid reason. But sulking is still permitted I reckon .....

Again DD did not cry today!! In she had the MMR yesterday, so she was not herself this a.m. (sleepy, bit tearful, refused to walk...). But after the bfast she was ok. I felt a bit better today, I even went to the gym (lunch time)!

Ambi, I am shocked, well, to be honest, I do not have words...It is fantastic that you can have your children with you. But I still cannot imagine how can you work and concentrate with all the babies/toddlers running around (chatting, crying, laughing, asking for things...). But it clearly works out. But it could not be possible in my office... no...

Greedygirl aren't you lucky?? I'm glad you have such a nice boss. It will work out just fine and if you have such an organized colleague... the better! I know what you mean by not being organized... I used to be, but since having DD I try, I am not bad, but I am not what I used to be (control freak???!!!).

Anyway girls, I have to say that it seems worse than what it actually is. Me saying this???? Well, if you like what you do and the money is not bad, otherwise, glup! It is difficult, I know, I know. But we have to be positive (I keep on telling this to myself, so I will believe it .

Have a good day tomorrow!

Hi everyone, how is it going?

Well I went into work today to do some preparation for next term. It was the longest I have ever been away from my DS and I felt sick most of the time but...he was absolutely fine! I am so relieved, I was especially worried because he is still breast-feeding and won't take a bottle but he seems to manage fine and ate everything that was put in front of him. When I went to pick him up there was no big fuss, he just looked at me as tho I had popped out for 5 minutes! Now I have 1 more week before I return properly.

Greedygirl, glad it went ok. Funny how its so tough on us and yet our LOs don't really seem to notice we've gone!!

I know! Would it have harmed him to shed a tiny little tear when I left or to clap his hands together and shout "mama" when I came back! To top it off he hadn't had his usual afternoon nap so was properly crabby when we got him home. Ho-hum.

Hello, can I join in?

I go back to work in 3 weeks and am starting to get worried about it. I had a wonderful nursery lined up for my DD, who will be 11 months, but they messed up and can't take her til spring. I've found a CM for her who seems nice enough, but she's a 30 minute walk uphill in the wrong direction for me to get to work, and will have DD for 10+ hours a day which seems like an eternity. However I am sure DD will be fine since she is a very happy baby and is good with other people. Helpfully, she seems to be taking weaning from breastfeeding in her stride with no problems - now we only feed in the evening before bed and she is happy with a cup in the morning, so I expect she will be completely weaned before I go back.

I'm more worried about work. I am doing a phased return starting at 3 days and working up to 5 within 2 months. When I got pregnant I had a v new boss, based in US, who I'd only met once and who thought wrote me off when she found out I was pg. She has sent a memo round explaining that she's rearranged the department and I now have a new role but we've not spoken about it. Her emails are always terse and she isn't communicative generally, so I don't really know what I'm in for. I wasn't enjoying it before I left but it may be quite different now.

Otherwise my OH works abroad so I am doing this on my own. Any advice? I liked the comment about getting up at 3am...