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Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

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Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Work

Anyone up for a going back to work support thread?

84 replies

MissLiss · 22/07/2008 21:26

I'm due back in 3 weeks. Having the usual feelings of dread/nausea/will they remember me-type-stuff. But I've got to do it. Anyone want to hand hold??!?

OP posts:

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Sarimillie · 04/08/2008 22:11

Just a vv quick one to say thanks for the nice message for my first day back, MissLiss. And it was fine. Am totally exhausted and dd was a bit unsettled, but even so it was fine...hope tomorrow less tiring tho!

Sanguine · 06/08/2008 10:46

Help! Going back to work FULL TIME on monday, and it feels like I'm going to another planet. DS (8mo) is going to a nice nursery that is on site (I work at a hospital). All the things I have heard about the nursery are positive, and he's been very happy on his induction visits, I've watched him playing on the CCTV. But it does kind of feel like cutting off my own arm, IYKWIM. I'm worried that the nursery won't understand him like I do, and that he'll be so excited with all the fuss and noise that he'll never sleep or eat, and that my quietly chortling little boy will come home a screaming terror. Can someone who has started their baby at nursery please tell me whether their LO's character has changed since they started? Also, anyone done real nappies at nursery? Is it possible to keep up with the laundry once you're back at work?

This whole thing is like being between a rock and a hard place. I love my job and I always planned to go back full time. I love my boy and I want to spend my time doing fun things with him as well, although 8 months in, my brain is starting to eat itself and I'm getting stressed about silly things. I have so much respect for SAHMs now, I'm just not organised and disciplined enough to make that lifestyle work, I think I need the structure of a job in order to actually achieve anything. But that doesn't mean I actually want to leave my baby with someone else. Oh, wibble.

Greedygirl · 06/08/2008 13:18

Oh Sanquine , don't have any words of wisdom cos that'll be me very shortly but just wanted to say hope it all goes well and will be thinking of you. It is fantastic that you have seen your LO in the nursery and that it has a good reputation. Ikwym re being worried about the noise etc, my LO is used to a fairly quiet environment and I worry that lots of other kids might freak him out but I think at 8 months he will cope with it far better than he would have a couple of months ago. Let us know how it goes.

indiechick · 06/08/2008 13:31

Hi there. No words of wisdom but hope it works out for you all. Just formally confirmed my return to work date for end of Sep, really didn't want to press send on that email but it has to be done. DD2 at childminders 3 days and DH and I have one day a week from home each so not too much. DD1 will stay at nursery and then starts school in Jan so will join DD2 at childminder before and after school.
Am mostly concerned with how I'll get both up dressed and fed before leaving at 8am. So far the earliest I've managed to leave the house is 9.30am. Any tips anyone?

Greedygirl · 06/08/2008 13:45

Get up at 3 a.m.?

Mine · 06/08/2008 13:54

get everything ready the night before!!!
Then all you have to do is get 'em dressed and out the door!

MatBackFack · 06/08/2008 14:29

Hi can i join? I am just back 4 days a week after a year off with ds2 and I am so bored already!

Just wanted to say to the first timers, try not to worry too much about nursery - having been through it twice now I think the babies are normally fine - it is the parents that worry about it!

Soozyboo · 06/08/2008 16:09

Hi- Please can I join. I have just moved to hereford after living in Germany for 2 years and have 2 boys who are just 3 and 7 months. I need to go back to work from a £££ point but I have totally forgotten everything; like how to find a job, what I should do, how many days, childminder or creche for youngest .... Can anyone help point me in the right direction?

Mine · 06/08/2008 20:36

did you work whilst in Germany????
Maybe you can use the skills you have to find something related here...
There are so many specialist recruitment agencies that can help with finding you a job, they can even help you put a CV together.
If not you can go along to the local job centre.
There is always a way, so don't worry!

Greedygirl · 06/08/2008 21:56

OMG Mine, just looked at your pics and you are your son are so alike! Wow. He is gorgeous by the way.

MBF - think (hope)you are right about us being more bothered than our LOs. I am a typical first-time over-anxious mum.

Soozyboo - good luck with the job hunting! I am going back 3 days a week but I think 2 sounds nicer .

Mine · 06/08/2008 22:34

i get that a lot !
I just peeked at your pics too..... your son is adorable!!
Our lo's seem to be of a similar age..... when was yours born??

Eren was on the 21st Oct............ a long a difficult birth that i will NEVER forget!!!

Greedygirl · 07/08/2008 13:13

Thanks Mine! He was born 25th Nov so a little bit younger than your LO. Also had a looong labour but stopping and starting so more boring and tiring than anything else!

MissLiss · 07/08/2008 14:06

I've just worked out how to look at photos - not good with technology - and they are both lovely! I just can't believe how quickly they grow up. DS2 born 6th October - this time last year I was massive and I can't believe he's 10 months already.

I'm working myself into a real state about going back. I've had real trouble with my employers who have made it clear that they weren't expecting me to return and are clearly not overly happy about the fact that I'm coming back (as they have already recruited to replace me). Now I just don't know whether I can do it. I feel sick at the thought of going back there but even worse at the thought of leaving my two boys. I know I need to sort myself out and get some perspective but it's HARD!!! Arghhh!

OP posts:

tomwill · 07/08/2008 15:33

I too have just gone back to work but part time. Don't know whether I could face it full time.

My hubbies company have a really nice part time office manager/administrator role for 20-25hrs per week. Office based in SE1.
It would be handy for school pick ups because their happy for working hours to be 10-3pm (which I frankly have dreamt of in my job).

If any one's interested do contact me and I'll pass your number on.

Tomwill

Sanguine · 08/08/2008 17:40

oh MissLiss, that's naughty. If that's the case and they have given your job to someone else in your absence, they are breaking the law. Even if you go back and they make you feel like a spare part such that you feel you have to leave, that would then be constructive dismissal. They are skating on very thin ice. Are you in a union?

Well, it's T minus three days. I have laundered the boy's clothes, printed some family pictures for his book when he gets there, and discussed morning routine with DH. I found out that payroll didn't have a return date for me so weren't planning on paying me anything, and that's now being sorted out. I've had an occupational health interview, as I was signed off sick at the end of pregnancy because I became so immobile with SPD that I couldn't even get myself from bed to sofa, let alone car to wheelchair to lab. I'm still reliant on a stick and I have various other issues, so I had to go in and let them know what I need in the way of adjustments. Somewhat surprisingly, they were actually really helpful, especially when they told me I could work short days to begin with until I I get a bit of strength back. And I discovered that my colleagues are throwing a "welcome back" do for me as well. All of which makes it all seem slightly less of a mountain to climb.

Mine · 08/08/2008 20:22

am i the only shallow one that is also worrying about going back to work after a year 'off' without losing my baby weight?!!!

littleoldme · 10/08/2008 18:57

I'm going back to work in two weeks and feel sick everytime a think about it. Not helped by the fact I hate my job - I'm a teacher.

I'm off to make all a huge comforting cake XX

Mine · 10/08/2008 19:55

mmmmmm cake!
What kind of cake Littleoldme????

Gita22 · 10/08/2008 20:51

Hello there,
I am back to work TOMORROW after 13 months and I am dreading it. DD has already started nursery (1 week, for her and myself to get used to it...) and although she always cries when I leave her there, she seems to be fine after a few mins and through out the day. True it is parents who worry more...
I also think it will be VERY difficult to work, with your brain still "switched" to the baby stuff (meals, nappies, routines...), 1 year off work... I will need SOOOO many weeks to catch up with everything and to remember anything!!! I cannot even remember my password to get into the system .
I am back kind of full time (doing less hours a day, which actually is like 4 days a week) and it will be hard. Snif, snif, no more playgroups, parks, meeting new friends.. But like one of you said, going back to work will give me back my sense or organization (hopefully ), routine and the like. Which I used to have, but after having DD... uf!, I have tried, I cannot complain much because it has not been that bad, but I am not what I used to be.

Anyway, stop complaining , try to see the positive side (£££ in -most to pay for the nursery, anyway-, social life, etc,etc). Better not to think about getting up in the morning and getting her + myself ready, commuting to central London.... .
So, I hope I will have a good night rest and that I have thought about everything I need for tomorrow.
I will let you know how it was...

Eniz · 10/08/2008 21:18

back now for 4 weeks but due to start a week of night shifts tomorrow including covering stuff I didn't get taught at uni because they were disorganised misogynistic b*. At least DH is very competent and can care for DS. It's the stopping feeding that's really hard. That and accepting that in some situations I can't fix it for DS.

littleoldme · 11/08/2008 12:58

Just had a good through and whilst the thought of leaving Ds is awaful , it is good to know that everyone is worried about all the same things.

Mine - I was thinking of a really big chocolatey one.

Gits - Hope you got on OK today.

MissLiss- Your employers sound like bastards. Would you like me to go and hide prawns behing your boss's radiator. I've often thought of doing to my boss but she's got the sort of office I can't just sneak in to.

I went back for the last week of term during which time I got conjunctivitis; DS got a V and D big which I'm sure I bought home from school I acquired a 14 year old stalker (long story) AND I had to call the union involved in something as my boss was being completely unreasonable. I felt like I'd been on trip to Royston Vasey.

Gita22 · 11/08/2008 20:45

Hello again...
Well, it wasn't that bad, I have to admit...
Left DD crying as if I was going to abandon her forever and that broke my heart, even knowing that she would probably be fine after a few mins .
Luckily at work I can take it easy: like in most companies they are short of staff and they cannot afford the luxury of losing a senior member of staff (there for 8 years !!). So the first day was not like not having left, but weird because many new things (building, staff...), so I kind of felt like on a new job. That will probably change tomorrow, but still. I do not remember many things, but they will come to me in a few days, hopefully!! .
Now I deserve a good rest

Take care you lot and good luck.

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missbumpy · 11/08/2008 21:25

I'm back in Sept and I'm dreading it so much. Don't really care whether I can remember things or whether anyone remembers me...just worried sick about leaving DD in nursery

missbumpy · 11/08/2008 21:25

I'm back in Sept and I'm dreading it so much. Don't really care whether I can remember things or whether anyone remembers me...just worried sick about leaving DD in nursery

missbumpy · 11/08/2008 21:26

I'm back in Sept and I'm dreading it so much. Don't really care whether I can remember things or whether anyone remembers me...just worried sick about leaving DD in nursery

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