Should I accept or reject

[solarmagnetsandwich]

I’m calling on mumsnet wisdom to help me with my conundrum.

I’ve just interviewed for a new role.

Here are the reasons why the new role is better than my current role:

It’s £15,000 more per year and comes with a local government pension (defined benefit)
It’s a senior role, with about the same seniority and responsibility as I have now. But more money. It’s line managing less people than I do now - but on more money.

Here are the new role cons for me:

They won’t agree to a compressed hours 4 day week. Which I have now. Over the years I’ve often maintained that the very fact I can mentally switch off from Thursday evening until Monday morning is the difference between life being totally manageable or not. We have two children - one in primary, one in secondary. The few hours they are in school on the Friday is the only time I feel able to decompress. I need alone time to recharge.

I’m in my early fifties. My DH and I are from working class families. Our remaining parents are in care homes and the state are currently working through the money from the sale of both properties. There will highly likely be nothing left inheritance wise.

Coming from very humble backgrounds I feel anxious about our small pensions. I also feel anxious about sudden unexpected health issues one day stopping us from being able to earn the salaries we currently do. I’m very concerned for our children who are going to have it very hard as a generation and I want to be able to give them something to make their lives easier. All of this makes me feel pressurised to take a better paid job if I was offered one. But equally I am knackered. I am perimenopausal, I’ve held high stress roles with a lot of accountability my whole life (but not a huge income attached to them), I’ve had to care for my DM for a decade alone.

My current role is high unachievable income targets and I have some people who I line manage who are the biggest headache in my entire career. They bring their ‘whole selves’ to work, they whinge, they are never happy, there are regular histrionics from them, and half the time I feel like I’m their mother, rather than their line manager.

I can’t decide what might be worse. Stay in my current role with the current team, several are which are very hard work to manage, income targets are soul destroying. But my own line manager is amazing.

Or move to the higher paying job, which is also income targets based, but is 5 days a week. However it’s a lot more money and just might mean I could breathe more easily in my early sixties. If I stay in my current role, my pension pot would be much less and I’d be trapped for longer.

Other random reflections = the people who interviewed me were nice enough and no major red flags. But I did think ‘hmm you all seem very corporate and beige personality’ whereas I’m used to working with liberal, eccentric but highly intelligent people with more colourful energy if that makes any sense. I recognise my viewpoints on the interview panel point could be my own bias and not a fair viewpoint to have on them. Likewise they could perfectly easily have thought I was too much for them.

I will be informed shortly of the outcome one but I need to be prepared with what I want to do if offered the new role.

Despite not offering a four day week, they are flexible on start and end times and the role is mainly WFH but will young children still at home, doing slightly shorter hours over five days instead of longer hours over four doesn’t really get me anything. I’d Judy finish slightly earlier to be faced with the graveyard slots of childbearing ie grumpy kids, sorting dinner and shuffling them out the door to school in the morning.

Help! I’m going around in circles.

I would lean towards taking the job and as a PP suggested, see if you can negotiate a compressed working week once your probation ends perhaps?

I’ve just done similar with some similar circumstances, compromises and benefits. Also 50s, menopausal and tired with neurodivergent teens. However six weeks in, feel like I’ve made the right move especially as the job market is tough, even tougher for older women in my sector and as such, I might not get a chance at a secure position with a defined pension again.

I’ve way less seniority, work is less intensive and I’m working more days but it is refreshing having a change, and good money so taking the win and realising the work environment is quite flexible. So, combined with wfh some days and Fridays not being as full other days, it’s a good pace. And tonight I’m in my room reading/ being on mumsnet with the door shut as I realised I need time away from parenting and family demands which my husband facilitates as he realises it’s keeping me sane and allows me to keep all the plates spinning the rest of the time. I got seriously burnt out last year which prompted me to ensure I carve out some guilt free time by myself when I need it. Might that be an option?

You sound like you want the job. The only downside seems to be the 5 day week. But the money, pension, less people management responsibility, and WFH all sound great for you. More money and a good pension may give you the option to retire earlier than you might in your current job.

Work out how you could get more time to yourself to decompress, perhaps by your DH taking the reigns for a period over the weekend and taking the kids out away from you (because we all know free time at home with the family is not actually free time).

What a condescending post about local authority employees.

OP - if you are successful could you meet the team as part of the recruitment process? Plenty of women manage full time work across a five day week. It'll just be different in the new role. Use some of the salary increase to make line at home easier and pay for things that help you decompress.

This is a very very good point! I even said this almost word for word to my husband. I could probably actually do with some beige and quieter more solid corporate types, rather than the rollercoaster colourful ones. I’m very supportive as a line manager but I am getting to my limit. I’m at an age where I really value peace over interesting.

Yes Friday is likely to be a meeting free day

It’s a LGPS but it’s as far from a local government job as you could get. It is NOT working with local government at all. But the way it is funded means it’s attached to the LGPS.

Theres nothing wrong with local government workers - my uncle was one and he was wonderful and engaging and fun.

The fact they seemed to be a bit beige is probably because I’ve normalised how crazy my current Team can be. Think unable to read social norms, zero filter, entitled, unfocused, demand avoidant, and think nothing of telling you about every ounce of their personal lives. I wouldn’t allow them in front of external clients type vibe.

My DH did ask if by beige I actually meant ‘professional’ He could have a point.

Really reluctant to do this because when a job is income target based, I’ve learnt they’ll crank the pressure up regardless and I’ll be bringing them in the mega bucks for them to pay me less.

Does the job come with flexible working hours/flexi time? My local gov job allows you to work longer hours to accrue flexi and then take up to 2 days / 4 half days per month. If you work longer days Mon-Thurs this could mean you only need to work half days on Fridays? Or a whole day every other week (basically a 9 day fortnight) without a contract change.

"They said the reason the organisation says no to a 4 day compressed week is because it’s bad for work life balance and mental health" - this is not a valid reason for turning down a formal statutory flexible working request. However, if you haven't started yet then you can't submit a formal statutory request that is covered by the law. As pp has said, take the job, complete probation and then make a statutory request under the relevant policy but also make it clear that the request is being made under your statutory rights. They can't use the reason you've cited to turn it down.

www.acas.org.uk/statutory-flexible-working-requests/considering-a-request

Good point thank you!

Hmmm I’m not sure. It’s not actually a local gov job, it’s just funded in a way that means it’s attached to the LGPS. But a really good point about asking for flex after probation. Thank you.

Why was my post condescending? I was quoting the OP about beige vs needy team

Oe of the posters up thread asked about tax after your rise and I was going to ask if you have run the numbers. Are you going to end up sucking off the tax man for a big part of that raise? If you are worried about pensions and retirement could you redirect some of it into your pension? I deeply resent every pound I pay in tax.

Not too much. It will still be under £54k. I don’t intend to ever go higher than that tbh. There’s no point anymore to earning more. I’m tired of them freezing the tax bands so I have no intention of ever earning higher than I would in this role. I’m done sucking it up as the squeezed middle on taxes with working class poverty heritage meaning I’ve worked my ass off for decades for a very modest lifestyle. And what will be a very very modest retirement.

I’d go with the new job. It sounds like you really need a change, regardless of the useful extra money.
While having time to yourself when the kids are at school sounds great, it’s only a few hours and then you’re on after school duty anyway. Take the money and potentially buy back some extra annual leave if and when you feel you need it.
As others say, once you’ve been there a little while you may be able to negotiate on working pattern. Or manage yourself a very quiet WFH day once a week.

It sounds like less stress, smaller team, calm professional working environment that understand the negative impact on the nervous system of working 9.5 hour days.

You might find your quite time, down time is facilitated by your new job. Let your DH take the reins more and leave the house... even if it is for a walk after your work day is done. If after school times are hectic at home and the commute to work is reasonable, consider working at the office a bit more than 1 day per fortnight, maybe the intensity of all.of your life being within your 4 walls is too much and separating work and family might help.

Maybe this step might lead to something even higher... don't rule out a promotion based on the fact that tax rates increase... more money is more money even if a higher proportion is taxed and you might find that jobs higher up the organisation might be paying you for your experience and your wisdom rather than high work rate ... you said your DH is paid well but has time to chill.... why could this not be you?

Your current team sound like really difficult colleagues, imagine how much more effective your team would be if they were calm, productive and focused... focus your skills at managing these dynamics on your teens and build a calm, efficient and capable team in your new job who will take delegated work and deliver results so you can sit back and manage allowing you to schedule 'blue sky thinking time' into your shorter work days, that brings you the calm you deserve at this point in your career. Be calm, in control and let your team work hard to impress you rather than you needing to coax work from them like toddlers.

And yes... you could plough all of the extra money into savings... but use a little for you, new work clothes, new office chair, a night away in a hotel where for one moment you feel like don't have to count every penny.. maybe don't save the first month and let loose.

(I hope you get the job and I hope it changes your life!)

Thank you to all who gave their time. It was really kind and helped me untangle things in my head.

I didn’t get it. I scored highest in the interview but one of my written scores some faceless assessor underscored me on, so another person pipped me to the post despite the hiring manager wanting me. Heah ho. I hate the Applied platform it’s supposed to be fairer but it’s a very weird system. Especially since they repeated all the questions from the written answers in the interview, I scored highest in the interview, yet my written ‘blind assessed’ answer was scored lower. But that’s another thread!

I’ll go off now to weep about my lack of pension….

I am sorry you did not get the job...

Personally I’d want a decent pension. I suddenly became unwell, it had been creeping up for years which input down to age (40’s and early 50’s it went down hill, more pain,
fatigue, inflammation. Turned out I had psoriatic arthritis and fibromyalgia which gave me chronic fatigue. I’ve just been approved I’ll health retirement this year and am getting what I would have received if I’d worked another 13 years! It’s a university pension, but I understand that government pensions may be pretty good too - I’d check that out if there’s been ill health that may need you to retire early and take it from there - good luck!

Thank you that’s really kind of you and your earlier post was so supportive. Thank you.

@solarmagnetsandwich honestly do not worry …, perhaps someone protected you ! Perhaps they were crap bullies, you don’t know ..:

you got this far perhaps keep on looking … even casually !?

I’d take it in your position. Could you ask to say stop at 1pm on the Friday and take slightly longer days the rest of the time? It seems daft not to let you try a different working pattern because they think it will be bad for your mental health rather than business needs.