Colleague of partner making work place unbearable

[DontEatTheMushies]

I posted before about her.

She is now....reading ALL of his emails - as in logging in to read them, even the drafts.

She has contracted in one of her FREINDS to act as HR for the company that she inserted herself as a director off last year despite only graduating in 2025, and only starting at the company a few months before.

This is company OH has been at since 2012. He literally is the company as he is the ONLY person able to carry out the procedure that company sells.

She records everything.
She is manufacturing situations to try and create allegations of sexual misconduct or that they have issues working with a woman. But they have none, they have worked with women, and ones younger than this one, with 0 issue before.
They have even worked with colleagues who have been out to get them before - and with less issues.
For example his colleage was on the phone to a lady friend, The DIRECTOR spun him round in his chair and he said to the person on the phone "hang on baby doll" and DIRECTOR took it to mean here and so raised it as a sexual harrassment. They went to mediation at the local church - overseen by the rev, not even someone i HR or anything related.

She has been trying to make out he is bullying her by refusing to work with her because of her actions. She confronts him when he is alone, and will not take NO for an answer - its as if she is trying to anger him - and SHE RECORDS EVERYTHING.

This is not affecting his mental health to the point he is on antidepressants and beta blockers.

I am a hair away from losing MY mind with this woman.

I have advised him to call ACAS.

IF he leaves this is a constructive dismissal case, but f he goes before jan 27 it will have that cap on it - and he thinks that is what they are trying to do.

It is a small company, like 5/6 employees.

I am at my wits end. THie horrible heinous person is coming in and literally jeapordising his career.

I would like to hear her side of this as well.

if it’s that bad then he needs to look for another role. I would be taking handwritten notes of any contacts in the industry etc and getting myself on the market.

I worked for a (male) MD and his wife inserted herself into the business and she was a nightmare. There were no winners - I left and they struggled to find the skills to replace me as the skills were niche and it wasn’t a popular location. But not my problem.

I can't get over the local church overseeing mediation for a workplace complaint! That's a new one on me.

You cannot insert yourself into the position of a Director of a company.

You have to be voted in or offered the role by the other Director(s), and it comes with legal responsibilities including being named as a Director on the Companies House website.

Why is his colleague making personal calls during work time?

wont take no as an answer to what?

tbh I'm finding it difficult to understand your post.

The company has 2 directors. The owner and their spouse. Owner invited the person to become a director - the spouse was not best pleased. It is very weird to all of the other employees a well.

The church thing was also though og as crazy by OH and other employee. Because how can that be legal/Official?

Yes, I would be interested to hear her side as well. Further industry digging at where she was before has revealed they were let go for similar behaviour in always causing issues and being vey hard to work with.
My partner has worked with many awkward individuals, but this one is taking the piss. They have appeared and got their talons into a whole SME and is trying to make out that the 2 employees there before her are trying to discriminate against her and are threatening towards her.
This is causing us significant stress and has my OH on antidepressants, and beta blockers. I have had him thinking he is having a heart attack rather than go to work. This has all thankfully been documented via the doctors.

We are now looking to get an independent OH report and will be speaking to ACAS.

Why would a director of the company be trying to get the only person who can do a key role sacked? How would that benefit her?

No email you write at work is ever private but for what purpose is she reading his emails?

He was on his lunch, but was in the office. Also, adults can take or make personal calls in work time.

No in relation to why he wouldn't give her an answer to a question. One that she asked and he said that he would feel more comfortable answering in the presence of the MD, and they can discuss it then. She then ket asking and was in a way blocking him from leaving the office. He then felt that she was trying to goad him into an outburst as she kept asking why wont he answer. She waited until the last other employee left and he was gong to leave to ask this. It also concerned the other employee and MD - so she could have brought it up when they were both there.
They have whole company meetings for issues, they agree its resolved, and then the next week she is against brining it all up - but then when the other employees mention anything from before the meeting, she accuses them of dragging things up.

She has now got a friend in HR to do HR work for the company.....

Not sure to be honest. There is a lot more to it that we are cataloguing. She has been suggesting contacts in relation to coming to work for them. They also have a new employee - but this one is friend of the MD - who has been made a team lead after being there a few months.
So my OH now has to train his boss how to do his job.

He should just go sick and then leave

In which case your partner should immediately be applying for another job.

It all sound unprofessional and messy, he should just get out of there asap

He literally is the company as he is the ONLY person able to carry out the procedure that company sells.

Sounds like their business continuity planning is shocking, maybe she's gathering evidence to try and sort that out.

Why has your DH not set up his own company. He has the commodity skill.

Yes, I assumed this was someone who worked for a church? Otherwise, colleagues who follow other religions might be uncomfortable, surely?
Get him to report and document everything. I worry when women behave like her, not only for the innocent men and their wives/kids, but because it stops genuine cases of sexism being believed.

5/6 employees and 3 Directors?

Yes, exactly what I was thinking.

If he's do important/skilled, and she's so awful, why isn't he long gone?

It uses a product that is only licensed to be sold to the MD of the company he works for.
Any annoyingly, if he leaves he has a 3 month notice period and he is banned from working for any services company that does anything even in that field, for 1 yr.
And given that his career for the last nearly 14 years has been that place, his anxiety at being jobless is clear.

He has been looking, but so far of the ones he has applied for all the people doing the interviewing have turned out to know the MD at his work. Its a small place we live...so everyone knows everyone in their field.

Constructive dismissal.

Yes, well 2 are owners. I am not sure how things are set up for tax/taking dividend payments in lieu of wages - but I imagine that is why the couple that own it are directors. New one is possibly because of the age of the Main owner/MD.

But yup, 2 are sort of PT, 1 of those is also based in another continent.

I mean if "hang on baby doll" is colleague's normal language, I'd say there's a fairly high possibility his sexism does spill into the workplace.

As before, I'd like to hear her version. For a start she hasn't "inserted" herself anywhere. Someone must have appointed her. That your DH is refering to a young woman in a senior post like that also speaks volumes.

I'd put a reasonable amount of money on the fact that indispensible DH has got too big for his boots and she's been charged with sorting him out.

Why on earth is his wife so involved with his workplace drama?

Mediation by a church isn't completely unheard of. It's a paid service some churches offer to businesses. The "Rev" will be trained to do it, just the same a anyone else operating in a neutral capacity in such a situatuon.

I'll guarantee her story is very different.

Id say that her view will be that she came into a boys club with attitude.
Despite there being a female director/owner,
There was a female intern - she was fab and super knowledgeable. Just graduated lasts year. OH is really sad she left as she contributed a lot of worth to the company.
Then the other female who was in charge of business development.

All of which haven never had an issues, never caused issues etc. OH was ok with this new director until last year .
They basically pressured him into cancelling 2 fmily holidays to work, then she pressured him to go away early and miss xmas - and it then turned out he was sitting about and did not even need to be there for a week later each time. All that happened was that they managed to bill the customer for about 1 months worth of extra days for the 2 techs.

She didn't like it when he then put his foot down as he was actually physically hurt from work.

If I was describing all this behaviour with HE as the pronoun, Id bet we would never assume we would need to hear the other side eh?

Their colleage now has feed back - from a female that used to work with her - that she is a piece of work and horrible to work with.

I dont understand it all.

He is from Ghana (other colleague), I dunno if that is a thing they do there.

Maybe he has, but being the most knowledgeable, employee there who has made them a good few million off his own skill and ingenuity, I guess that makes someone too big for their boots. His boss hired him to do that job, and he does, He is also honest with his boss - he wont just say yes or agree to placate him - which is what the big boss does quite like. He i highly praised when on the work site, literally has repaired actual, and reputation damage that this boss has done to his own company.

If he was too big for his boots he would be able to demand more - like an industry standard wage, the training that the other employees get offered etc. But he doesn't get that - the boss doesn't seem to believe that employees with out degrees are worth investing in.

And you will ask "but why does he stay" basically because, before all the health issues and stress and now near suicidal thoughts...it was not horrendous money when there was work. And fiven the changes to the law, hat with a 3 month notice period, he was not finding any jobs that would entertain that. His only option to leave seems to be quit, then hope he finds something else. Not financially viable.

The MD appointed her - which was a surprise to his wife who owns 50% of the business.

His wife does admin for the business - which is effectively a family business.

And yes, I guarantee her version is completely different. As it was it seems, completely different about why she was asked to leave the last company she worked for.
I have a feeling, that its harder to get rid of a Director than a staff member....

Does he get decent sick pay?
If he does, I would be giving my notice in while giving a sick note for the next 3 months. I would also be telling the other director why.

And this woman is not the MD's other woman? I mean if the wife was surprised then it would seem this woman has something over the MD himself.