Should I leave nursing as I can't continue in such a toxic culture!

[Charliebean123]

Im a mental health nurse. I have struggled to fit in to quite a well established team (family and friends). A couple of tge team are quite toxic and the manager is part of this particular clique. I tried so hard, I became completely burnt out. I have been having some ongoing investigations but they're all coming back reassuring. Which is good as its been such a worry but im still having stomach problems. Feeling really flat and unmotivated. I had a couple of months off sick and when I went back, experienced bullying from a couple of team members and the manager. I tried to go back again and it was awful. Someone had gone on to my Facebook and took a copy of me smiling with my daughter on her birthday and my manager said 'I thought you were unwell'. I have had ct scan, colonoscopy, and then further scans as they found cysts. I had a complete break down as I felt targeted. I am not sleeping and feel this feeling of dread every day. I can't go back. I actually feel like im done with the NHS, done with nursing.

I have recently just last month walked away from my MH nurse role. Got a new job in a “support” area but isn’t nursing. I’m actually just about to cancel paying for my NMC.
Honestly I’ve had such a weight lifted off my shoulders since I left. Still hearing horror stories from old colleagues, and relieved it’s not me dealing with it anymore. I won’t go back. The health and social care system is only getting worse and worse.
P.S it took me a LOT of courage to make the jump until I decided enough was enough!

starlightstarbright6 - thankyou for your message. Wow! Just reading your message makes me feel less alone. Im so glad you feel better and congratulations on your new role. Can I ask how you feel about the pay drop? I have looked at other roles. I don't know how to financially survive. I just know I have to find a way.

Regardless if you quit nursing or not I think you definitely need to move to another area/team etc I am a district nurse and I love the little team I work in. But I’ve helped out in other teams (very similar to yours, clique, bitchy) I can see how you would end up feeling like this working in this environment. I’d suggest trying another area, fresh start, new people. Good luck

I feel the same way in similar circumstances but a different profession. I'm looking at roles in other teams and considering leaving the profession altogether. I used to enjoy my job and feel confident and capable in it but have lost this having worked in this toxic culture. Tried to change it but it's affecting my physical and mental health. Look after yourself op, no one else will prioritise you.

I left general Nursing ( not MH ) after 30 years about eight years ago. I have never looked back.

The pay was always what put me off leaving, over and over again I asked myself “but how can I make the same money”
I eventually realised it just wasn’t going to be possible (unless I retrained) and the stress got so much that I went beyond caring. I looked again at household outgoings and realised I could still pay all the bills and have money left over. No I’m not as well off as I was but I’m ok. I took about a £500 monthly pay drop but that’s also not doing any more nights or weekends. I have the mindset I hope I can work my way up a bit in my new job. So I finally made the jump but it really was not an easy or fast decision to make! I’d literally spend hours trawling online to find other people who had left and what they did. I think what it ultimately comes down to is, money or your mental health. You can’t have both in healthcare!!

Thankyou for your messages. Im sorry if you are going through the same. Im also happy for those that are now out of it.

starlightstarbright6 - that's good, Im glad financially you can manage. I have a car through the NHS so will have to send it back and pay a fee. I have felt very stuck due to the financial element of it. Can I ask what you have decided to do instead? I know you said a support role? I think i am also traumatised by the culture, I worry about how I will be treated in another role outside of nursing. It has changed me so much, I almost feel like I can't 'care' anymore.

How many teams have you worked in? I’ve been in NHS for 30 years and worked in at least 7 different places. Only 2 teams have been like you’re referring to, the others have been lovely.

Can you move to another Trust or another dept?
Have you thought about the charity sector? Benefits advisor?

I'm an RMN in the NHS. Can you move teams, or join the Bank? If you join the Bank you can work in different teams and one will likely have a substantive post to apply for. You can easily get ft hours from Bank. The NHS pension is worth staying for!

I'd try moving to a different team or hospital altogether. I moved out of NHS due to a toxic culture bullying, and lots of relatives working together. I'd been in a really good team and moved to a hospital closer to home. It was the biggest mistake ever. No room back in old team. So I went into a dementia nursing home, thought I'd last long enough to get back to the original hospital, but loved the team so much I stayed until I recently retired.

Have you looked at primary care MH nursing posts in GP surgeries? Or out of hours MH posts? There’s loads of options out there

I’m a nurse and now very senior. I’ve worked across the independent, NHS and corporate sectors in a range of clinical and executive roles. I’ve worked in some very toxic set-ups and it’s easy to get sucked into a negative mindset when you have to work in that culture every day.

I’d say rather then leaving the profession that we’ve had to work hard to get into and maintain with CPD, reval etc, look at all the avenues that can make use of your experience and qualifications.

I coach nurses who are looking for career opportunities and it’s really important to realise how much opportunity there is out there for us.

Look at academic roles at colleges/universities, independent sector (big surge in private mental health diagnosis clinics), corporate roles if you’d like to break into management even if it’s a side ways step - patient experience, complaints etc

I’d also echo PPS…look at moving to other trusts if you want to stay clinical. I’ve made a point of moving role every 3 years over my 26 year career and it’s amazing how different organisational culture is even a few miles down the road.

Don’t let them grind you down and good luck!

I work for a mental health trust , albeit not clinical, I second the posters saying move teams or, even trusts.

The right culture in a trust makes a huge difference, but also the culture of individual teams themselves makes a huge difference and there are good trusts and teams out there .

Thankyou all so so much, honestly its been a very lonely few months. Especially awaiting for test results etc on top of it all.
I really appreciate the support and advice here, thankyou.
I am on the nurse bank and had a little look. I have always worked community to a bit apprehensive to going onto a ward for a bank shift. I will remain on the bank though. One thing I know for sure is, I can't go back to this current role. I have tried twice. It is not worth my physical and mental health.
I have 3 weeks left of sick leave. Can I hand in my notice on the sick? Or do I wait until the sick leave is up? I have to work a months notice but can't. I have occupational health calling me Monday to discuss my return to work. Can you advise on the best thing to do please?
Also, all I have known is nhs, where do I even look for alternatives? Private or nursing homes or something else? I have been looking at other trusts too.

Look at the Guardian paper, I think it's Wednesday, for mh and social cars jobs and also your local area, there might be charities like rethink. You can earn just as much, if not more, working as a support worker, do look out for benefits like pension, sick pay. What area do you live in.

Im South Wales, UK.
I have looked at support roles and they are around 13 and hour. I will keep looking though.

How long have you worked there and for the nhs. No job is worth destroying your mental health and wellbeing. Can you take any time off, I'd resign with immediate effect, oh must know the effect this has had on you.

If you Google mh jobs south Wales there are quite a few jobs, nhs, private, community, advocacy.

Thankyou
I have been in the nhs 10 years. 4 roles and my first as a newly qualified was awful but I was determined to push through. I have noticed the culture over all settings and at first very surprised as I work in mental health. However, I learnt how to manage that. I don't get involved in the office politics and I try so hard to fit in, attend training, support others. I have met some lovely colleagues along the way too. I have also met some lovely general nurses whilst I have been undergoing some investigations.
I have seen 2 new members join the team and they are lovely. These 2 particular colleagues (the toxic ones) have taken an instant dislike to them. They are always talking about them. When I asked why they don't like them, one answers 'they give me the ick'. I have been there 18 months (5 of those on the sick). I had this feeling my face didn't fit from the beginning but I just wanted to fit in i suppose. I ignored so much. I remember one of them telling me I was 'too nice'.
There is so much more but I won't go on.
Thankyou for your support here. I really appreciate it.

Just do the bother engaging with people like this, easier said than done. I've had nhs jobs where I was never going to fit in, it's miserable but you will get a nice new job somewhere.,some nurses and carers just shouldn't be in the job, poor patients. Would you be happier in a hospital where you trained, that can give you a sense of belonging.

Not all teams are that bad, although sadly it is pretty common in the NHS. Nasty little cliques form and make life miserable for everyone else. I’m not a nurse but my first NHS role was in a very toxic environment. Thankfully I escaped to perform the same job in another location and the environment couldn’t be more different. I’ve been happy in this role now for 25 years!
So you don’t have to give up on nursing or the NHS in general - but definitely get out of that team.

Bank roles include community too. I don’t want to work on the wards as I’m not physically up to do PMVA training (or whatever it is these days!) I’m nearly 60 with dodgy knees! I’ve worked extensively in Home Treatment, PCLS and Mental Health Liaison teams.

OP I became an advocacy worker - really enjoying it so far, it almost feels similar to nursing but without all the BS!

I'm in North Wales and was getting 18.50 ph when I finished two years ago in a small private Dementia nursing home. We used to get NHS Nurses who came and did an occasional shift as bank nurses or agency, some came over a few months, others dropped out and some came to work full time for us once they decided they liked it.
I had my DBS and paid for it to renew each year and that gave me the peace of mind that I could always move on to work elsewhere.

Thankyou for you message.
I have been looking at all of the above.
My confidence is probably at its lowest at the moment. I just need an opportunity to learn and develop somewhere else.
Im going to stay on the bank. Which means I will have to give my car back and pay a penalty charge of 1.9k. I have only had it 3 weeks. I was without a car since last Nov. I had no clue all of this was going to happen.
I have emailed dome companies too.
Im so happy for you all who found something that you enjoy.
In a nursing home, im mental health trained not general so I wouldn't know how to manage anything that required general expertise. I have not worked a ward either so giving medication is something I haven't had experience in since training 10 years ago.
Does anyone know if I can hand in my notice whilst on sick. I really can't do the months notice. I just need to be out of there.