Should I leave nursing as I can't continue in such a toxic culture!

[Charliebean123]

Im a mental health nurse. I have struggled to fit in to quite a well established team (family and friends). A couple of tge team are quite toxic and the manager is part of this particular clique. I tried so hard, I became completely burnt out. I have been having some ongoing investigations but they're all coming back reassuring. Which is good as its been such a worry but im still having stomach problems. Feeling really flat and unmotivated. I had a couple of months off sick and when I went back, experienced bullying from a couple of team members and the manager. I tried to go back again and it was awful. Someone had gone on to my Facebook and took a copy of me smiling with my daughter on her birthday and my manager said 'I thought you were unwell'. I have had ct scan, colonoscopy, and then further scans as they found cysts. I had a complete break down as I felt targeted. I am not sleeping and feel this feeling of dread every day. I can't go back. I actually feel like im done with the NHS, done with nursing.

Perhaps use the bank to build a slightly wider experience base and to test out different areas and teams. There are often jobs about to come up or longer term covers available. If you transfer within the nhs you can often novate the car contract, the HR teams are used to sorting this. Good luck

You can resign, email your line manager, or and payroll, the rcn have info on their website even if you're not a member. You could stay on the bank as others suggest and see what comes along, you could "special" on general or mh wards or escort which wouldn't involve medication unless maybe being a second checker. I don't know if you can work as a carer if you still hold your pin but I may be wrong, check with the nmc.

@Charliebean123
i looked into Bank nursing in nursing homes at one point but they definitely need general nurses rather than mental health nurses. They do a lot of catheter care etc which I haven’t a clue on! It wouldn’t be fair on the residents or your colleagues as well as putting your NMC registration at risk.

Ps if you work on the Bank you’ll be in the same Trust so maybe able to keep the car? I’m not sure though. But surely having access to a car would be useful in a community role so there maybe a way round it. You’d need to be a driver in certain roles/areas such as Home Treatment Teams etc.

Thankyou so much.
If I bank, as its 0 hour, I'd have to hand the car back. I asked the car company yesterday. I have access to my daughters car as she doesn't use it very much during the week. I'd have to pay 1.9k which I have slightly less in my savings. Im gutted but I can't think of another way. If I stay in the trust and get a permanent contract, I can transfer the car through payroll. However, I'd have to apply, get an interview and await checks. Even if I got a job tomorrow, the checks take about 2 months and sometimes longer. I have been looking on the NHS but nothing about at the moment.
If I hand in my notice ASAP. I have 3 weeks left of sick leave (pay). Will I still get this?
I will have a little look at rcn too.
Thankyou all so much. I wish I posted months ago. Its been awful and I have never felt so alone and worried. So I appreciate every single post.

I'd really advise you to look for a different team instead of leaving nursing.
Our team is absolutely lovely as are so many other teams I'm sure. It's a shame you're surrounding by toxic people and I feel like your love for nursing can return if/when you're surrounded by decent people.

I would go to occy health, would you consider redeployment to another team or outpatients. I know you are concerned about meds and not working on the wards for a while but there may be some sort of return to practice or mentorship scheme even if that involves dropping a grade for a while.

FYI If you change job role in the same trust you won’t have recruitment checks - it’s a HR2 form. (But you will still need to apply & interview.)

Can you do a return to work on reduced hours to give you a bit of breathing space ? Have you spoken with Occy Health and HR ?

Are you a member of the RCN? You can access up to 6 counselling sessions which could be very useful for you whilst at this crowded

Get out or another job fast!
Toxoc workplaces is the last thing you need while being sick.
Why the hell would someone go on your facebook? You are allowed to smile sick or not...bunch bitches.

Thankyou for your messages.
I have OH Monday. Its the 2nd appointment. My last one, she agreed for me to leave. I went back on reduced hours for 2 weeks. I lasted a day. I had a complete panic. My manager highlighted how I'd done everything wrong, phoned in sick wrong, didn't attend a meeting while off sick and should have, then the Facebook. There was more but so much to type. I was sobbing and not cried like that before. I went straight home and called the wellbeing service and they have organised some counselling. For days, I was having heart palpitations and not sleeping. On top of other health issues going on. I spoke with a nurse at my GP surgery and she signed me off. She said the Facebook thing was 'them targeting me'. I feel that too.
I know I can't go back. I spoke with HR and they said they don't redeploy over staff conflict. They said 'people don't get on and we would be redeployment all the time'. They were nice about it and said I'd be better off looking elsewhere.
My senior manager has asked if I want to put anything formally forward but im too scared and I just don't have it in me. Im not talking about 1 colleague, its 3 (including management).
I suppose I find it so hard to believe as I did absolutely everything to fit in. You kinda lose yourself in environments like this.
I have a lady calling me Monday from another health board. I emailed enquiring about a position and she said its not clinical but would i be interested in hearing about other posts they have. I have agreed and told her im interested in non clinical too. The trust is an hour away which is far but I feel I have no choice in distance at the moment.

All the best for this week, one day you'll look back and know that you're so much better off without the bullies, wards and departments across the nhs get reputations and people leave, eventually hr and occy health investigate and managers get moved but it takes a long long time.

@Charliebean123 you could be signed off sick with stress to give you some thinking and planning time but still be paid. The problem with bank work is that if you walk into another toxic workplace you can walk out, but you have no income.

Don’t have colleagues as Facebook friends and lock your social media accounts so no one can do this again.

Not victim blaming as I’ve been where you are, but it takes a while to sign up for bank and get a new DBS and you need income if you have no savings.

I hear you! I am a nurse, have been for fifteen years and honestly if it weren’t for my husband and I’s circumstances I would have left a long time ago. I don’t really like it, never have and have worked in teams like yours. The only thing that has made it bearable for me is leaving a contracted job and working purely on bank. Go in, do the job, don’t get involved. Obviously you don’t get sick pay etc but I think it’s worth it.

edited to say absolutely complain about your team. I left a horrendously toxic team after a month of being there and was absolutely ruthless on my exit interview - a few months later the team were disbanded due to the complaints, it takes one person to start that!!

I’ve read lots of posts on MN over the years about nursing being a very bitchy profession OP. I’ve also witnessed it when I’ve been in hospital on the ward. The worst was
after I had just gone through a really unpleasant colonoscopy. I was still in the room where the procedure was done and was fairly out of it. The moment the consultant walks out the room, the two nurses who were assisting him started bickering with each other right in front of me. It was so unprofessional.

Ive even told my daughter to stay away from nursing because of this issue.

I’m sorry this is happening to you …I hate bullying…the NHS as a whole… nursing, admin etc has a horrific culture of bullying. I don’t blame anyone who wants to leave NHS or Teaching both horrific professions for bullying. When you’re ready try face to face counselling and a start a plan to get out.

How about this OP:

https://compassionatementalhealth.co.uk/

Thankyou all so much. Im sorry some of you are struggling too. Im happy for those who have found a nice team or an alternative role that make you happy.
I have OH tomorrow and HR put 'fact finding' on hold whilst im unwell.
Im going to ask for adjustments but I know my manager won't approve. I need to work safely whilst transitioning or finding something else. To be able to do that, I'd need to not be in that office and engage with senior management instead of my manager. I will then be able to do my role. However, this won't be sustainable but im hoping they agree until I can leave so I have an income and a car. I will see how that goes.
Thankyou for the recommendations too, I really appreciate it, so thoughtful.

How did your oh meeting go today

MissMoneyFairy - thankyou.
OH were lovely. They are there to assess my fitness for work and stress isn't a medical condition. She advised me to share the report with senior management as i explained im feeling uncomfortable with my line manager. She advised i ask for all communication via senior until i feel comfortable. She didn't nake any recommendations for adjustments, she advised me to ask senior management if we could discuss those. She highlighted that i have an on going medical condition so this should be considered in regards to reasonable adjustments. I have emailed seniors but he is out of office, hopefully he will get back to me soon. The adjustments would be, not being in the office whilst i look elsewhere. Im not sure they will agree to that. She advised to share with HR too.
Also, I spoke with a lovely lady from a different health board who explained the service and the government's desire to double their service. I told her about myself and she said my experience would fit with certain roles in the team. However, they're are not out yet but due to be. She set a reminder on her calendar to let me know when they are out. She was just lovely.
Im driving an hour away today to meet another team. I enquired yesterday and he invited me to visit. He was lovely too. I think I have been around such a toxic team for so long, I have forgotten there are good people out there. Honestly, I can't explain what this has done to me mentally.
I really appreciate everyone here too.

I felt similarly in my social work role and decided that life is simply too short to suffer like this. I resigned.
I retrained in photography and did freelance photography, picture editing for a magazine, running singing workshops for adults and children ... all joyous stuff!

I'm not a nurse but I can perhaps offer another perspective.

I left my teaching job for similar reasons. I worked at another school temporarily, very different to the first and even though it was less stressful, I still felt like I'd lost my mojo completely. I tried tutoring for a bit, using my skills and still felt similar.

I guess my point is, try somewhere else first. It takes a lot of courage to leave a toxic job but once you do and try somewhere else, it can give you a huge amount of information about what you want long term.

I realised teaching was no longer for me, and now I'm doing more admin type work which I much prefer. I've taken a large pay cut but we could afford it thankfully and was worth doing for my sanity.

Are you in a union? Contact them asap for advice if so. Have you raised a grievance?

Would you consider moving over to a Primary Care Network as a mental health practitioner in primary care? No shift work, lots of autonomy and usually very friendly working environment. You may take a period to adjust to the different way of working and pace, but I think it could be positive for you.

Thankyou so much everyone.
I have had a meeting with 2 senior managers. There is no option to redeploy and they can't make the adjustments I am requesting because the team is too small. I didn't think they would be able to. I mentioned some things that have happened in there. I don't have the mental or emotional capacity to communicate formally.
I said I have not long taken a car lease via NHS and will have to pay 2k unless I continue employment there or transfer to another position. I asked about notice time and they said usually a month but can reduce that time. Im supposed to have a meeting with my manager and HR next week. I can't attend. I will have to hand the car back, I have that in my savings. My sick pay reduces and I need to earn to pay my bills so will have to bank. Im not going to secure a contracted nhs position in 2 weeks to keep the car so no choice. I have my daughters car (just not overly reliable).
I need to be away from this service.