Colleague "doesn't do paid childcare" how to deal with situation?

[Middlechild3]

New role, shift work, told it would be a 'fairly' stable pattern mostly a combination of 2/2/2 pattern per cycle, except when someone is on leave (and then less or no day shifts). Colleague has boasted about not having to pay for childcare ever despite both her and husband both working full time with shift work (different employers).This has been facilitated because she request shifts around her husbands roster unofficially and the person who does the roster gives them to her at the expense of her colleagues. This is going to mainly be me as we are opposing shifts. This means she will request say all late shifts meaning I would get stuck with all early shifts. This wasn't what I signed up to when I took the job but the emotional blackmail has started and I know she wants the arrangement she had with my predessor to continue. I really have no interest in her childcare woes and think she needs to get paid help in. She's been very lucky for so long but with new staff things will change and she must see this. How to deal with this diplomatically but firmly? to be clear this isn't an HR arrangement she has, she has just buttered up the man who does the roster over the years.

This

Good for you!! If no one objects nothing gets changed. Some people who have children are SO entitled!!!

Agreed.

Yanbu op, if she needs a specific type of shift she should have arranged it officially and you should have been told at your interview. Due to favouritism at my place one of my colleagues gets lumbered with far more late shifts than anyone else, he hates it. Resentment builds quickly, management shouldn't allow it to happen.

i think your colleague and her mates have been posting! Of course you should be able to work the regular shift pattern.

It's you who sounds unpleasant.

Looking for an argument?

Follow the example of @marriednotdead.

You have had great advice and back up from this thread OP.

Definitely go through your manager not directly to the bragging blagger.

And try not go in too hot - I can see you feel riled up by this (and rightly) but keep it calm, professional and non-judgemental (you don’t even need to mention this colleague - this is about you and your working pattern). Explain your expectations per your contract. If you like the job and want to keep it, give them some time to make changes…good luck.

It’s not just the blagger taking advantage here, its your employer too if they dont run a fair system.

It really is fascinating how some posters lack basic reading and comprehension skills.

I can see why the day to day shift rota is focusing your attention now but my advice would be to be really on the ball when it comes to summer holidays and Christmas etc
lots of people and it sounds like this colleague is one of them can be really demanding when it comes to time off with their children to the detriment of other colleagues who quite rightly want to spend time with their families

Nightmare for lone mothers, isn’t? I ended up leaving my two best paying jobs over (lack of) childcare. I work for myself now. Much less stressed.

Childcare is not available more than it is available, and it costs more than a mortgage.

Funnily enough, the main problem I had was similar to the problem the OP has - my being expected to work hours, times and even days not specified in my contract, frequently at short notice and to suit someone else. It’s not actually the children or the childcare that’s the issue - it’s the straying from contract within an unwritten hierarchy of preferences.

OP’s colleague should have been asked to put her flexible working request in writing for consideration a long time ago.

Not at all. It needs to be dealt with fairly. OP is not there to subsidise this person’s childcare situation through her own time and inconvenience. OP - keep it neutral, through the relevant manager and apply for the shifts you want. Paying for childcare is part of working.

She's not 'demanding shifts she likes', she applied for and accepted a job on a specific rota pattern. Its the same as if I applied for and accepted a job contracted for a 9am - 5pm work pattern and was then told I had to work 11am - 7pm to fit round a colleague, I wouldnt be happy at all. The employer can't unilaterally change the contractual terms.

Tbh you shouldn’t have said anything about the colleague or free childcare as that’s not the issue here and some posters will focus on that rather than the actual issue.

The actual issue is that you applied for a 2/2/2 job because it fits in with your lifestyle but this isn’t being promised to you.

Most of us with children would not be able to work a 2/2/2 shift and so if we applied for a job that was 9-5, we would expect that to be the hours.
We wouldn’t then expect to do different shifts.

Your colleague may have a different arrangement and different contract that enables her to work 1 type of shift.

But your contract states that you’re on a 2/2/2 and so that’s what you should be doing.

Stand your ground, I would be expecting to work the shifts that I was contracted to work..

my work place have lots of mums working and all of us are treated equally, well most of us! Here are some that stomp their feet to get specific holidays but holidays ane given out quite fairly depending on each persons request.

Absolutely push back on that! You're not in charge of rotas, nor of your colleagues home life. There should be e no expectation for you to quietly solve her issues. You should be able to do the job you were hired to do, not a shitter variation to facilitate an unofficial easy set up for someone else.

It doesn't sound like she'll be easy to work with either way.

I’d take it steady. Speak to roster person in the first instance. Surely if it’s a 2/2/2 pattern there are three of you in rotation?

I think the danger is that if you complain further the result may be a blanket decree that shifts will be allocated and there will be no flexibility. And that will piss everyone off. And they’ll find out it was you.

Childcare is expensive and if you work differing shifts each week it's going to be very difficult as childcare isn't usually flexible. So maybe this colleague is a bit of an obnoxious person but completely understandable that she would want this.

Maybe your work need to look into a better way of managing.

I would have expected this to be allowed for in the conditions of employment. I've not done shift work, but for example it was specified that you would be guaranteed to have annual leave at the same time as your spouse who works in the same company if required.

If the husband is in the same company also working shifts it should be very simple. He works AA BB CC off, she works BB CC off AA. They'd have to choose between minimising childcare required and having the same "weekend" as each other, then just stick to the strict rota.

I think you may be right 😀

He doesn't work for the same employer. Other couples both full time shift workers employ au pairs etc. This isn't someone on minimum wage who can't afford it. It is someone who is very entitled believing colleagues should accomodate her wishes irrespective of the impact on their own lives.
Anyway just going in circles now Discussion with Management is arranged. (Roster person isn't management just easily manipulated).

You must be talking about yourself.

Wow. Some of the entitlement in this thread when the OP is actually entitled to work the shifts that she was offered in her contract.
Her work colleague can speak to her line manager or put in a flexible work request if she's unhappy but OP shouldn't be expected to schedule her life around a colleague who doesn't give two hoots about her.

Agu, if you have nothing constructive to say can you go elsewhere please.

Ah sorry, I'd forgotten that by the time I'd read the whole thread.

Feel free to ignore any comments of mine you don’t like. I clapped back at someone else.

In any case if you are rtt as you have been telling us to do you will see I have said you should get the schedule that works for you.

This isn't OP's problem to solve. She wants to work the shifts that were in her contract when she accepted the role. Her colleague's issues with childcare shouldn't affect OP in any way. Her colleague can ask OP to swap shifts and OP can say no. If her colleague raises this with management and they tell OP that she needs to accommodate her colleague's shift requests, they are breaching OP's contract.