Annoyed with colleagues comment

[Cluelessfirstimer]

Been at my job for 10 years. We went fully remote during covid. I relocated. Not a million miles away from the office, but a good 2 hr commute and a pretty hefty train fare.

Anyway 2 years ago they changed from fully remote to 2/3 days in the office a week. 2 days for certain roles and 3 days for more collaborative roles. Its not a strict rule, if you have plumbers or appointments in a week they dont mind if you dont hit that. Its not particularly checked.

I had a chat with my boss and said I wouldnt be able to do this. They agreed that given my role (think like a dev type role. I have very little collaboration) and the fact they really needed me, and I moved during the time they were remote this wouldnt apply to me.

I go into the office about 2 times a month. Sometimes less sometimes a little bit more. Whenever I am needed for an in person meeting im there.

Anyway sorry a lot of waffle! As I was leaving Friday a colleague commented "oh there goes 'Sally' finishing her hobby job" I turned and said what and they said "oh nothing just your special treatment" or something like that.

I was livid but was running out the door. I have been doing this for the last few years and the person who said this lives a 11 minute walk from the office and as far as I know hasnt asked about flexibility needs or wants it.

Should I say something Tuesday? Leave it? I can take a joke but the tone really bothered me.

I wouldn't put anything in writing, you should have explained at the time and said I mainly work from home, nothing hobby about it. At least you only have to see this person a couple of times a month. Not their business what hours you work.

I see both sides, people at my work, well one in particular has laid it on thick to Occ Health and can work at home the majority of the time but your colleague was also rude. I’d email her (that’s just me) and say you have been thinking of her inappropriate comment and copy your manager in.

Op, if you haven’t already, make sure you get it in writing / update to t&cs in case your manager etc ever changes…

You could frame it that you’ve had comments from people about it and you’d like to make it all official so that nobody has grounds to raise a grievance….

She doesn't deserve your time or attention and you don't have to justify yourself to her.

She's a colleague, not your employer. She's clearly not intelligent enough to realise that some employees are more valuable than others.

Some people are missing the point. It's fine to be a envious. It's a natural human emotion.

But making snidey, hateful comments to people because of that envy isn't ok. I'm not sure why so many people are basically saying that was ok for you to experience OP. You've done nothing wrong. They should be taking it up with their own manager if they have an issue with it, not you.

I agree , also it sounds like they may have realised they should have kept their mouth shut from their reaction when you said 'what'.
I would say nothing but keep a mental note for if they carry on with their snideness.

Thank you. Yes we did put it in my contract- i cant remember exactly but it says something along the lines of "you will be required in the office from time to time" or something. Ill definitely check it and make sure its still relevant/tight enough.

OH and not to drip feed, but I just remembered as part of this and when my contract was changed I agreed to change my notice period from 2 months to four month - so they locked me in and didn't get this totally free!

Work places cant have one rule for one and another for someone else

I can't quite understand your point.

You're acknowledging that it's the same "rule" that allows her and this other person to gave different work locations, yes... so what rule are you suggesting isn't "the same", and for whom?

I think the thing to do would have been to address it at the time with something along the lines - "Not a hobby job, X, just one which I am so valued at that they make it worth my while to stay." (If you're the type you could add "I don't suppose it's that surprising that you wouldn't understand that." but that's kind of bitchy and escalating things).

Sending an email after the fact will just let her know she got under your skin.

It sounds like they have already and it hasn't been approved while hers has. Hence the jealousy

This is a brilliant response.

As long as you have it in writing, which you do, carry on as you are. You don’t need to justify to her or answer her. Completely ignore her.

Sit on your hands and don’t send the email. As you say she already had a rep, don’t get drawn into it.

Where do you get that from?

My workplace has recently increased the days in the office to 3. There is a lot of unhappiness as lots of people don't want to do it (central london office so lots of people live far away). Some people have been able to negotiate flexible working arrangements due to personal circumstances or job roles but others haven't and it is causing resentment and bitterness unfortunately. I feel for you as I am constantly feeling guilty that I have less days in the office than others, whilst also feeling annoyed at those that have less days than me! It's all so difficult to navigate

They’re jealous and resentful. Just ignore them

And that’s why there should be a uniform policy for all. Perceived unfairness only leads to resentment.

That is a great idea in theory but in reality that wouldn't work in a big organisation with a diverse workforce. People want different things and work best in different environments. Some jobs require a lot of collaboration, some require solitary focus. Some people have health needs and life circumstances which mean they have a right to apply for reasonable adjustments. I think it is more damaging when companies impose rigid top down ways of working (ie everyone has to work 9-5pm) - better to allow flexibility and treat everyone as a grown up. Of course you need parameters to meet business needs, and it needs to be managed fairly and consistently; but a one size fits all approach does not work

Of course. Most of my work is actually solo/confidential so honestly i dont even get much done in the office because its open plan/hot desk sort of situation and most people can see my screen! Its also incredibly loud which I find irritating.

Although yes that wasnt the reason my agreement was made.

I dont doubt people are envious of my situation but its on them to discuss their own working arrangements.

Slept on it and on this occasion im going to leave it - purely because its been a weekend and sending an email now just highlights how much its gotten to me.

If anything is ever said again I WILL be sending an email/making a comment though.

You are getting special treatment and indeed, it is likely being it would be more difficult to replace you, or you've made yourself to be the manager's pet (I've definitely work with such people through my career).

In the end, you got yourself good that others can't have. You negotiated well, so good on you. However, don't expect people not to resent you. Of course they will. That's part of the parcel of getting special treatment.

My brother is in this position. Due to ill health he's no longer able to commute into work. But is essential to his company. They've bent over backwards to keep him. Sending him office equipment, working around his ongoing medical appointments.

Others (lower level employees) aren't happy about it. They whinge and periodically complain to management about it. But employing someone of DB's level now would cost the company a lot more than DB is paid.

If the company / management are happy with your work @Cluelessfirstimer, all the other employees can do one. As can the green eyed posters on this thread.

Thank you. I would be a pain in the ass to replace. I have a certain skill set and have been with the company a long time.

I hope your brother is ok and good for him for getting such a standing within his company to be that valued.

Definitely not the managers pet - part of my role is to disagree and challenge him a lot!

I would be difficult to replace and very expensive. They know that. I know that but I was absolutely prepared to walk away when the rules around the office changed.

Totally understand people may be annoyed and bitter just didnt expect such a brazen rude comment to be made to my face.

Said employee is being particularly nice to me this morning which im assuming is either feeling guilt/worried about their comment. Im just going about my day as usual (at home with a fan on and my feet nicely sitting in a bowl of cold water)

Totally understand people may be annoyed and bitter just didnt expect such a brazen rude comment to be made to my face
It was rude but maybe instead of being annoyed and contemplating complaining about her, you could go and have a gentle word with her and tell her you understand your privilege but such comments won't change anything.

Or just completely ignore and accept it for what it is: someone frustrated with the special treatment.

They're jealous, and that's their own issue. Take a breath, and walk away safe in the knowledge that your employer has deemed you important enough to make an exception for, as they know that asking you to come on the office would risk loosing you as an employer. End of.

If they make any further comments, mention it to your manager & HR and ask that this person is reminded that any issues they have with hybrid work requirements should be directed to HR or their own manager and not you. Its unprofessional and unnecessary.