How do I stay civil with a colleague after she caused extra work on purpose?

[Travel11]

About 2 weeks ago a colleague I sometimes sit by kept asking me questions about a task the manager does. I told her I don’t know as I am not involved. For some reason she kept pushing the issue as though I needed to be involved. I changed the subject. Next thing I know she sends an email to me and the manager about this task as it’s a reoccurring one, my manager has now delegated the task to me. I am furious she has dragged me into this. I had already been give more work and now I have this to do.

Today I sat elsewhere at work and avoided her. The manager has said recently he doesn’t want me sitting with her and that it’s best to sit with everyone else in the office. I know it’s best to mix with others. The rest of the team don’t like her as she is obstructive and argumentative. I don’t want to sit with her again as she has betrayed me and crossed boundaries. How to I keep it civil but not let her back in like I was friendly before? She is a liability.

Thanks.

Can you delegate the task to her?

Do you have a one to one coming up?

Did the manager delegate the task to her? If your workload is too much, discuss with your manager. Ask which task you should drop to make space for the new one.

it is not clear why you are blaming the colleague instead of the manager.

What a horrible comment.

Are you sure it’s work and not Mr Johnson’s year 9 English class? All this I don’t want to sit with her. Are you all children?

I know the manager is to blame but she shouldn’t have told him to pass it to me. She doesn’t understand how busy my workload is.

Do you really need to ask a parenting website how to be civil to a colleague?

Is this your first job?

But in case you really are serious - you can be civil to them by just… being civil.

HTH.

My job is stressful as it is. I can’t believe people are saying it doesn’t matter. I would never go to a manager and name a person to pass a task to.

I would be pissed off too. I’d raise it with my manager in my next meeting with them. I’d avoid her as much as possible, and be civil when I have to interact. It’s work, just be professional.

Ask your manager what task they would like you to drop in order to do this one.

Because she copied you into an email about the topic the manager assumed that you were on the same page as your tormentor.
At that point I would have chatted to the manager explaining you have no idea she was about to do that. And you were not asking to do the task.

I suspect your manager realises she is a nuisance as he has said best you don’t sit next to her. She has tried to set you up as she hopes you will fail.

Go back to your manager and explain all.

As to communicating with a muck stirrer who plays with people for her own entertainment. Keep your distance. Share nothing. Show no emotion apart from being bored.

You should've declined the task. Unless this person is senior to you and it's part of her job to allocate your work? But even then you just say sorry, I'm too busy. Why don't you do it or manager continue to do it?

Just ignore her from now on. And don't sit near her.

She told the manager she thinks I should do it. The manager probably just went along with it as it’s one less thing for him to do. He is forgetful and forgets a lot to do things but that’s no excuse to pass it on. I will definitely not sit by her again.

It sounds go me like you need to improve your relationship with the manager. In your shoes, I would also speak directly to the colleague, saying I didn't appreciate her manipulative behaviour, but I appreciate not everyone wants to encourage confrontation. What I wouldn't do is prioritise being civil. I would be civil but I would prioritise being direct about the damage she is doing.

Typo

So go back to the manager and explain why you can't as you have too much on already. As pp said ask what he's taking off your list to allow you time for the new task.

Maybe she thought you should do it because it fits better with your job description? Or with your skill set?

for example, I might allocate a task to Bob because it’s sales-related and he’s in Sales, rather than to Andrea, who is in Marketing. Even though Bob might have more on his plate.

Are you 12?

I'm guessing she's senior to you

horrible thing to do, but I'm wondering why she did it

Email your manager, tell them how much time this task will take you and ask them which of x, y and z tasks (which take a similar smount of time )they want to relate to someone else so you can take on this extra task. Or if they would prefer you to keep x, y and z could they please advise you which of your other duties you should pass on.

Hi Manager

Could we please have a chat about [task]? You've asked me to complete it moving forwards, but I'm struggling with capacity. Let me know when you're free and I'll put something in the diary.

Thanks,

Travel

Exactly this. Don’t just keep accepting workload if you can’t cope with it. Can you delegate stuff to her?