How to handle an EA challenging my role and reporting me to HR

[BettyBlue74]

I work with this woman at work. She is an EA to the MD. She snitched on me at work to HR because I was 'short' with her - i.e. I tried to shut down a conversation with something that had nothing to do with her. My boss and also HR manager whom I suspect doesn't like her either - told me to apologise to keep the peace even though I had legit reasons to wind that up very quickly. I also told them she has rolled her eyes at me a number of times and has been rather curt with me. I don't mean it to be tit for tat but she needs to be careful what she wishes for.

I'm the office manager, and she challenged me on which dept looked after what, which is something that has NOTHING to do with her - and then she proceeded to give me a direction on what to do next. She isn't my manager. I don't report to her. The only time it's appropriate is when her boss is hosting something such as the Xmas party, end of quarter morning teas etc. Not the day to day running of things. I've been in this job for 12 months - so I now know the lay of the land.

She once a couple of months ago tried to reach into my drawer where I keep security passes and told me to give this random (whom was signed in as a visitor) to give him a pass (these are expensive and I don't want too many floating around in case you forget to switch them off). This wasn't her visitor; he was a contractor who was on-site during the day. I told her is was all under control and she got upset. She also told me that putting something in my back mailroom would crowd it out. Again, nothing to do with her. She also CC my boss with a pre drafted email message to send to people when parcels arrived in the office - I hand deliver parcels and parcels are not getting lost - this was prompted by the fact that someone had to chase up if a parcel had been delivered or not - she told the person it had...but she didn't leave it at that - she then drafted that email message I should send to people when they have parcels arrive.

I'm worried that she has legit grounds to tell me what to do - that hides behind powerful people to give her snitching legitimacy. So...what are your thoughts? I know I have to suck it up, but I how do I deal with this person?

In my office it was the cleaners, my secretary and the receptionists. Also my immediate line manager.

I always tried to be supportive and pleasant to more junior members of staff too.

It just makes everyone's life happier.

thats very true points because everyone at some level has influence of one sort or the other

What a strange response to constructive feedback about a post that suggests you can't handle constructive feedback

Come on, now, Betty. There’s no need to be so defensive.
You asked for advice, and it was good advice.

I like to treat everyone the same to be honest. No-one is more important than anyone else and everyone has a role to play, whatever that role is.

You can't always like everyone but it's important to be professional.

There s nothing wrong with the word snitch. It described a kind of petty corporate behaviour. I would apoogise and smile just to show there is no knife between my teeth. Do it in an oblique way "Sorry you were upset by my tone".

Wait until youve been there two years and then look for an oportunity to throw her under the bus without revealing your hand. Sooner or later one will come.

This person isn’t a student though. She is presumably an experienced member of staff with knowledge of how the company functions.

I think we can glean OP’s attitude and it’s no wonder the EA has an issue with her if she is like this at work

It’s now very obvious that the OP @BettyBlue74 realises that she herself is actually the problem at work and no one else! Being an office manager the OP should be more professional but instead comes across as argumentative, confrontational and unprofessional. The phrase ‘chip on her shoulder’ springs to mind… She has been given good advice here but instead has been blunt and ghosted people so if that’s how she operates at work I’m not surprised she has problems! Maybe, going on a course to improve social and communication skills would be a good idea.

OP - if you have only been there a year, you need to take a deep breath and reflect. This EA does not line manage you officially, but unofficially it seems she’s got seniority in the admin staff (including you), and you are still in the “easy to get rid of” position. So you will need to learn to do things her way, except her being senior to you, or you need to look for a new job.

Put another way, if the MD has to lose one of his staff- you or her, do you think you are the most critical and hardest to replace?

Do not, not ever, fall out with the EA/PA/Secretary of the most important member of the office.

Absolutely, @FancyBiscuitsLevel

They might not have any power, but, they do have a lot of influence.

The problem for you is that she is proactively making suggestions on areas you feel you are handling but to the neutral observer you are not (eg packages not being collected).

And she has the ear of the MD. Possibly best to kill with kindness with this one...

Oh dear op. It’s beginning to be glaringly obvious you are at least part of the problem…

I always get an email from reception if I have a parcel and I know they have to enter it on a tracker, often they'll bring them up too unless it do happens in in reception just after one has been delivered. If you're not doing similar, she's got a point, what if you're off and someone needs to check if a parcel arrived? You sound a bit bothered by helpful suggestions

Sorry meant to quote OP

This says all we need to know.
You are the problem OP 🤷‍♀️

This office is going to be without an office manager in the not too distance future I reckon

As an EA myself (who incidentally line managers the office manager), I would say tread very carefully. My CEO categorically tells me and and other people I am an extension of her and should be treated as such (a long with the two other very senior people I look after). The head of people (who isn’t office based) checks in with me regularly, my opinion is highly regarded as the eyes and ears on the ground.

One of my objectives is to see what processes and procedures can be streamlined and if wouldn’t be looked on well if someone was rolling their eyes at me (which I very much suspect you did before her, she deals with senior people everyday. She will be able to control her eye rolls!).

I would like to hear the EA’s version. OP sounds like hard work, agree with her or else.

Petty much.

Trouble is everyone gets it.

I don't think I understand the pass point? Are you saying you won't give passes out to people who are visiting for the whole day in case the passes get lost?

Does your method of parcel delivery create a paper trail of who held what at what point, so if there is a discrepancy or dispute it’s easy to identify who had what when?

in my workplace an EA is a highly strategic and influential role. They’re not there to make cups of tea and manage diaries. They’re there to execute the directors intentions via the people who need to facilitate those.

It always pays to work well with an EA. They’re the bridge between operations and the senior leaders who make the decisions.

I thought this was shaping up to be a ‘so unreasonable it’s a clumsy reverse’ post, but no…

Good point.

If I have a delivery then an email to me is sufficient. I can then get it when convenient. If I am knee deep in a process or report, I can’t be doing with someone disturbing me so they can ‘get to know me”

I think you’re the problem. Everyone know you don’t piss off an EA in fact you go out of your way to charm them because you will always need something from them at some point if you’re any good at your job.

Surely managing diaries is one of their jobs? It requires quite a lot co ordinating & negotiating. Are EA above this now? I mean I think they are influential - but they aren’t assistant MDs.