How to handle an EA challenging my role and reporting me to HR

[BettyBlue74]

I work with this woman at work. She is an EA to the MD. She snitched on me at work to HR because I was 'short' with her - i.e. I tried to shut down a conversation with something that had nothing to do with her. My boss and also HR manager whom I suspect doesn't like her either - told me to apologise to keep the peace even though I had legit reasons to wind that up very quickly. I also told them she has rolled her eyes at me a number of times and has been rather curt with me. I don't mean it to be tit for tat but she needs to be careful what she wishes for.

I'm the office manager, and she challenged me on which dept looked after what, which is something that has NOTHING to do with her - and then she proceeded to give me a direction on what to do next. She isn't my manager. I don't report to her. The only time it's appropriate is when her boss is hosting something such as the Xmas party, end of quarter morning teas etc. Not the day to day running of things. I've been in this job for 12 months - so I now know the lay of the land.

She once a couple of months ago tried to reach into my drawer where I keep security passes and told me to give this random (whom was signed in as a visitor) to give him a pass (these are expensive and I don't want too many floating around in case you forget to switch them off). This wasn't her visitor; he was a contractor who was on-site during the day. I told her is was all under control and she got upset. She also told me that putting something in my back mailroom would crowd it out. Again, nothing to do with her. She also CC my boss with a pre drafted email message to send to people when parcels arrived in the office - I hand deliver parcels and parcels are not getting lost - this was prompted by the fact that someone had to chase up if a parcel had been delivered or not - she told the person it had...but she didn't leave it at that - she then drafted that email message I should send to people when they have parcels arrive.

I'm worried that she has legit grounds to tell me what to do - that hides behind powerful people to give her snitching legitimacy. So...what are your thoughts? I know I have to suck it up, but I how do I deal with this person?

12months is not a long time! How long has she been there @BettyBlue74?

‘Office bitchiness’? Wow. Ok.

12 months is definitely pretty new!

12 months is not actually that long. How long has the EA been there? You may still learn something useful from her.
I’ve worked in office environments for over 25 years. NEVER piss off the MD’s assistant.

Oh dear.

12 months is still relatively new but regardless of that, taking on feedback and new ideas should be something you do throughout your whole career.

I’ve worked for my employer a long time and am one of the longest standing employees but am always keen to get ideas from others on how to possibly improve things.

you need to learn how to listen to others and say things like “thanks, I’ll bear that in mind when I review the process” etc. maybe you’ll actually get some good ideas!

and perhaps you were rude to the EA and she felt she had genuine grounds for speaking to HR? You’re being quite abrasive on this thread.

😂

The problem definitely isn’t the EA.

You do sound arrogant though which may not be intentional - if she has picked up on that, it won’t help matters

Not protected until you have been there for two years.
tread carefully

We only have your version of what is going on, if you have a genuine complaint go through normal channels and stop obsessing

You sound really difficult to work with. You sound like someone on some kind of power trip who wants to be in control, are unwilling to take on other people's ideas and like to be 'in the know' and see that as some superiority so try to gate keep the info.

You sound like an office manager in the company I used to work for.

EAs have a lot of influence by virtue of their role throughout the organisation - office managers less so. I think complaining won't get you far and everyone else will watch the entertainment.

Just btw, where I work now contractors get a pass if they're in for the day, who's got time to let them in and out; and people come and fetch their own parcels.

I think they way I would approach this is to issue some policies (or update old ones) to clarify what need to happen and roles for when for basic things like post delivery.

No one ever likes writing policies, so the person who does tends to have the most control over setting the direction of things. Plus, you can present it as "standardisation" and ensuring no issues when you are on holiday etc.

What? It’s the role of an EA to ensure everything runs smoothly on behalf of their boss, so it absolutely is their remit to correct issues with reception/office management.

Even if you are hand delivering parcels, you should still be emailing people to notify them when they arrive in case they needed quicker than when you plan to take it round. You mention security passes etc - I take it that means you also cover reception? Are the EAs/PAs having to pick up the slack whilst you’re wandering around with parcels?

Why would you not give a contractor who is there for an entire day a security pass so they can get in and out? It sounds like the contractor has had to go to her because you were being difficult.

If you're this antagonistic in work I'm starting to think the EA has a point.

All the previous poster was suggesting was that you emailed the recipient "hi bob, parcel came for you this morning, I'll bring it up to you later today, if you need it urgently come down."

Otherwise you're always running the risk that if "bob" doesnt want to deal with or forgets about the parcel he could say "bettyblue74 never told me about any parcel, I havent had it."

We get it, your take is wrong

I used to be an EA. As pp say, never piss us off, we have too much power!

You need to be very careful. You are a relatively new employee, with no job protection. Pissing people off is a bad move, especially this particular woman.

What is an EA?

Jeez we bave a student like this in my medical unit. Ive had to step in several times and say no, this is not your role. She severely steps over the line.
Then sulks all day and wont speak to me when I tell her why she shouldnt be doing this thing, nicely and reasonable.
Im now taking notes every single time and reporting to a senior when I have enough.
You need evidence time and dates.

Executive Assistant. Personal Assistant. So someone who has a lot more 'influence' (in the non-traditional sense) than OP.

Rule of thumb in any company/organisation - never piss off the assistant/diary manager/private secretary.

In the nicest possible way I think you are so wound up that you can't tolerate anything other than validation. My advice is to get the physical agitation out of your body and mind - I find a work out really helps. Or sit on it for 3 days before you act. Then really try to look at the situation from a distance. There's a fair few posters saying that EA has a point about certain things, talking from their experience. So what is it exactly that's got your back up? Was it the delivery? Is she newer than you? Chatgpt is actually really good at helping to unpick this kind of thing.

You’re the office manager?! Eek

@BettyBlue74 you could make notes as criticism of another's work when they are not the boss is a form of bullying according to acas

who are the main players to keep on side ?

Absolutely! I used to be PA to the office head partner and people pissed me off at their peril 🤣

It would probably have looked like I was bossy but my boss used to decide things and get me to speak to people.

You had better hope that it’s not the case for them…🤣