Client promised referrals for work but now refuses, how to move on?

[JoyOnAMission]

Hello lovely people.
I'm a freelance virtual assistant and social media manager who has been working with a client under an agreement where she promised referrals in exchange for my work. I showed up fully, grew her social media page, managed her inbox, handled her admin and was reliable every single day.I even work sometimes during the weekend because i want to make her week as easy as i can.
She acknowledges I do good work, yet when it came time to honour our agreement the answer became no with no real explanation.A friend of hers reached out to me and asked me to give her some vas since she was told'my schedule is full' by my boss.
I'm not here to bash anyone, I'm simply ready to spread my wings and find clients who truly value what I bring to the table.
And if you've been in a similar situation, I'd love to hear how you handled it.Where do i even start,where do i even apply.
My heart broke yesterday since she knows i have open slots to get even more clients since i was only working for her for an hour each day.
Any help ,word of advice would mean the world.

i knew a guy who bought fitted bathroom tiles for someone on a verbal quote. months later they still didnt pay. he kept chasing. told them hed take them back if they didn’t pay and they laughed and said the tiles were fixed to the wall how could he ha ha.

Well he shinned up the balcony into the bathroom and took a hammer to the lot. he left the mess though.

when they came home from work and went mental he had the last laugh. i did say it was a bit stupid that he paid for all the tiles and then smashed them but the way he saw it was he wasn’t getting paid anyway so they were no better off and his position was unchanged.

so i’d suggest you lock her out of her socials and give her a phone to discuss it all. ie nothing in writing.

if she won’t give you what the agreement was i’d suggest you offer a cash alternative for x amount of hours of your time.

if she isn’t up for that i’d tell her i’d remove all the good i had done, deleting multiple pages of my work if necessary etc so she is no better off.

if she still didn’t pay i’d do it. wait til the money is in your hand before you give her the logins back and make sure she cannot just reset her password.

She was my first direct client.I did not want to work under an agency since for me it was very robotic.I wanted to work with a human i can talk to,share my ideas with and grow with.I was under an agency just to get money to pay for necessities while now sharpening my skills on this other side to work with a direct executive.That decision now led me here.Life!

A brutal lesson.But it is what it is.

Did you have a contract for the exchange of services?

If not I would invoice her for all the hours that you have worked at minimum wage and be prepared to go to small claims court if she refuses to pay.

Or lock her out of her socials until she pays you something you are happy with.

You know…it seems to me that the way you are approaching business is very social media filtered.

All this talk of your light being dimmed and showing up fully and freeing someone’s mental energy.

You need to stop that right now. It isn’t how people talk in the corporate world. I’ve worked in social media for 16 years and I would genuinely laugh at someone who talked like this, nor would I employ them.

Forget that nonsense and plonk yourself back in the real world. You provide a service which you are obviously good at. The cost is £x per day/month/whatever. That’s all there is to it.

You sound lovely but that will get you eaten by the sharks, or which there are thousands in social media. Thicken your skin and act like a business owner, because you are one.

It's a learning experience, OP. Make sure you have a proper contract for each job you take on. If you ever again agree to work without money changing hands, have a contract setting out how and when you will be rewarded.
And remember that being hight profile does not mean being honest or reliable, sadly!!

OP do you have any support in real life? I'm a bit concerned about you to be honest that you willingly worked for someone for 3 months with no pay and didn't realise you were being taken advantage of? Are your parents around to talk to about this stuff?

This is good advice, OP. Treat what you do as the business it is and keep it professional in your communication with (prospective) clients. Draw up a general contract and terms of service.

My DD is a SM manager; she has said the amount of so called ‘influencers’ who want it all for free is astounding, they think you should just be honoured to get their work, most haven’t even got huge followings.
You need to be firm ‘Show me the money’!!
You don’t work for free to line their pockets.

You do know that even with social media, you need to put a space after a comma (,) and a fully stop (.) ?

There are people who seek to take advantage in every walk of life.

You must set a value on your skills without being shy about it. You are in business to make money not to make lifelong friends.

When I had a shop on Etsy there were "photographers" and "stylists" who wanted to borrow an expensive piece ifor a photo shoot n exchange for the publicity or photos. My response was always that as a company they could purchase such items as tax deductables to use as props but I did not loan expensive and delicate items it for "photos".

I now do private tutoring for post graduate students (mostly international) and I have a strict hourly fee. I dont work for contacts or referrals although occasionally one of my students has asked for a "special rate" if he recommends me to his friends. I tell him that I dont need any recommendation as most of my clients come by word of mouth. or contacts at various unis. I am never short of students and have had to turn some away. So no I dont give special reduced rates.

You are REALLY going to have to toughen up and be more businesslike if you want to succeed, how can clients value you unless you value yourself?
She has not been "horrible" to you,reframe that she has just done what you allowed her to.
Pick yourself up, stop whining and learn from this and never ever do anything like this again.

@JoyOnAMissionout of curiosity, when say you ‘agency’ do you mean marketing agency?

Are you main admin on her socials? If so make sure she is blocked and can’t access all the free work you’ve done for her

I’d also invoice her for the amount you would have charged and highlight she breached your verbal contract.

and then move on and focus on growing your business.

Sounds like you’ve learned an expensive lesson and thank goodness it was only an hour a day and not more of your time and expertise. Good luck!

Did you have a contract with this person?

Always get a contract for business dealings.

@JoyOnAMission She says search the VA Handbook. Community on FB and also website.

https://www.thevahandbook.com/

This person is your client. You do not hand in a resignation to your client.

They are your customer. You simply tell them to sod off that you will no longer be providing your services.

OP this is excellent advice !

You need to be the one providing the contract along with your terms and conditions, stating hourly rate, invoice terms ie payable immediately or 7 days etc. Always get the 1st month invoice upfront that way you never work for free.

You could talk to your client on Monday and say as you have seen how good my work is by growing your socials from this many view to however much you have increased it to, you will be charging them what ever your hourly rate is from today. Should they decline your services, tell them thank you for the experience and remove yourself as an admin. Do not delete anything or do any damage. Do you have a website, social media page, ask them to give you a testimonial that you can put on your page for others to see and hopefully gain a few clients

Op are you able to dm me your business details (if its within mn rules), as I dont know if I need a virtual asst

My nan would say, do not worry about it, you cannot please everyone. Just do work to the best of your ability and the nature of ethics will reward you in one way or another.

I wouldn’t lock her out if accounts etc. as that will damage your own reputation and references OP.

Just stop working for her.

I know i did my best and having read everything here so far from all these amazing humans,i know better and will do better.

Yes,i have sent you a private message.