Client promised referrals for work but now refuses, how to move on?

[JoyOnAMission]

Hello lovely people.
I'm a freelance virtual assistant and social media manager who has been working with a client under an agreement where she promised referrals in exchange for my work. I showed up fully, grew her social media page, managed her inbox, handled her admin and was reliable every single day.I even work sometimes during the weekend because i want to make her week as easy as i can.
She acknowledges I do good work, yet when it came time to honour our agreement the answer became no with no real explanation.A friend of hers reached out to me and asked me to give her some vas since she was told'my schedule is full' by my boss.
I'm not here to bash anyone, I'm simply ready to spread my wings and find clients who truly value what I bring to the table.
And if you've been in a similar situation, I'd love to hear how you handled it.Where do i even start,where do i even apply.
My heart broke yesterday since she knows i have open slots to get even more clients since i was only working for her for an hour each day.
Any help ,word of advice would mean the world.

Do you have to resign if there is no contract or pay agreement? You don't have a job!

As a freelancer too, this is a valuable lesson best learned early. Hopefully this will help you set stronger boundaries in future.

I have had some success looking for freelance work on normal job sites, indeed, CV library etc. search for 'part time' 'freelance' 'remote' 'flexible' I have found sometimes people don't know exactly that they are looking for so that's an opportunity to step in and offer my services.

Always try to contact people via phone if you can. Even if it's a 'i saw your advert and just want check x' every client I have I spoke to in person. People generally don't reply to emails applications.

Start with jobs/companies local to you. It makes you seem more focused and serious rather then some random trying their luck from hundreds of miles away. It also means you can visit in person.

Make an absolutely kickass portfolio. Follow up phone calls with a personalised email with insta links, and portfolio images.

Thank you.I will do this.

Delete anything you've done for her then lock her out of her socials and invoice her for your wasted time.

This works both ways. You have no contract. Signed no NDA. Name her. Remove the work that you have given her insofar as you can while you still have access. Do not resign. You do not need to. She has used you.

Thank you for this.From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much. I wasn't sure how this post would be received but you have all completely overwhelmed me with your kindness. Being seen, validated and given such practical advice means more than you know.This has been weighing so heavily on me and honestly I feel so much lighter right now. Thank you for reminding me that I am not invisible and that my work has real value.I cannot wait to come back to this very post and tell you all of my new dream client very soon.I am learning so much.

You did the grunt work for an influencer so she could enjoy the perks of her following without any of the effort. You don’t need to dress it up as freeing her mental energy…

Additionally she has given you access to her data, so in terms of outing her for her behaviour or taking what work you can back shehas no leg to stand on. The repercussions for her can be glorious. Hold your head high and get your data back.

My God.You know what, you are absolutely right and I appreciate you calling it out so plainlyI think I was so eager to prove my value that I dressed it up in professional language.

I am doing this right away.

I genuinely hadn't thought of it this way.Thank you.

Sorry if I missed it, but how long did you work unpaid for her slave your time?

Why are you resigning? You had no contract! If you wanted to remain on good terms, I'd simply say that as she hasn't kept her part of the deal, you won't be back.

I know nothing about this sector, but I assume you are registered with several agencies to find work such as indeed, linkedin etc?

No.I am not but i work virtually so geographical barriers do not really stop me.You know despite everything and my light getting dimmed,i really truly love me job.

There is no Advice you’ve been a fool don’t do it again

And do all of that

It has been three months and i am not under any agency,i prefer finding my clients.It is easier to work with them one on one when you get to learn their goals etc.

What would be very useful for you is a reference from her. So don’t burn your bridges.

She is also a potential client. Tell her what you will now be charging for the service you have been providing. She can take it or leave it.

If you are going to be successful in business you have to take the emotion out of it. Lots of people will abuse someone’s good nature. Don’t let them! Have clear terms that they accept (or don’t get any service) and then invoice them.

I have noticed that high profile or wealthy clients can be entitled and expect you to work for free/do more for less. It’s why they are successful but also plenty of decent people. Find them.

My VA (whose been with me for years) tells me there is a whole community one can join for support.

Learn the lesson, make changes, move on and grow as a business owner.

Yes,i have been.A spade is a spade not a big spoon.Thank you.

Ouch, horrible lesson.

In future, if you meet someone who promises referrals in exchange for your work and you think it could be worth it (e.g. it would get you into a new sector that you couldn’t break into previously). Make this offer:

“You pay my full rate up front as agreed. I will give you a discount code (10%) that is unique to you that you can give out to refer me. When 10 people have booked and paid for my services using your code, I will refund you”
(Get legal advice to make sure it is set up correctly)
This will sort people who are serious, vs people who are freeloaders.

However that is very much a last resort. Much better finding people who value you and are happy to pay.

Why are you resigning??? You’re not under contract. Tell her you are only interested in working with professionals who honour their agreements and block her. Move on and advertise your service. I know from experience there is enough work out there for everyone. You need to completely change the way you are thinking here. They are not doing you a favour!

This is genuinely gold, thank youTaking the emotion out and treating it as business, that is the shift I needed to hear today. And please could you ask your VA which community she means? That sounds exactly like what I need.

I am stealing this strategy.Serious people will have no problem with that arrangement.Thank you.

Why haven’t you been doing my social media recently?

Oh, I was just waiting for you to do the referrals that we agreed. I would absolutely love to get back to your work but as you’ll understand, I need to fill my day so I’m focussing on pitching for work from other clients.

Trades hear this all the time OP. Do it cheap or free and I'll guarantee more work.

She's ripped you off. Learn from it, take back any work you've done for her already and don't do anymore.

You don't need to resign, you can just lock her out of stuff, block and stop.

I'd take your emotions out of this dude. You'll not get anywhere if you use your heart for work.

True,i think even from the way she used to talk about the people she wanted to refer me to made me think she is actually doing me a favor by exposing me to that kind of circle.I am absolutely working of dismantling that.I did not even know i carried that and it is sad because before this,i was limitless.But really working on getting where i was in terms of my mindset before all this chaos.The wrong client can really mess you in all ways.Thank you

3mths of free work! I thought you were going to say a week or two! 😱

What have you been living off?