How to fit in more me time around a 9-5 job?

[Workingmum85]

Hey, I am after any tips you may have to help inject some me time in around my 9-5. For context, i am a mum of 2 primary school aged kids and I work 37.5 hours and am solely office based.

Last year I was in a 35 hour week flexi, remote position and worked a condensed 9 day fortnight until my redundancy which is why I think I find my current set up exhausting. Below is my typical day mon-fri, any suggestions on how to carve some time for me would be appreciated

5:45 get up and do 15 minute YouTube strength training
6:15 30 minute dog walk
6:45 feed dog, make coffee, pack up kids bags and get kids breakfast
7:15 drink coffee and get myself ready
8:10 leave house (husband does school run)
9 start work
lunch time: 30 minute walk around business park
6 get home, make dinner, eat dinner
7 tidy kitchen, make packed lunches and sort stuff for following day (husband does bedtime)
8-9 this is “my” time where I try and read but usually fall asleep

I do try and get one run in at least one night and one night I ferry the kids swimming and one night I do housework

weekends are better, I do park run and spend time with my family etc but Monday to Friday is a bit work, eat, sleep, repeat. After I’ve been in my role 18 months I plan to look for something more remote/flexible but in the meantime, any words of wisdom?

Get a cleaner. Buy meal deals.

I do spend time with them, they tend to come and chat when I’m getting ready and then I do the evening and weekend extra curricular activities swimming/gymnastics/football etc and of course on weekends we go to the park, craft, farm trips etc

during the working week it is harder and I don’t spend as much time with them as I’d like as I am out of the house 10 hours of the 12 that they are up and awake for, but short of changing my work hours that can’t be helped

So he refuses to give you nice time with your kids if it means he has to do cleaning? He sounds very selfish

All the more reason to insist that in the evenings you take turns to be with dc/make dinner. They need quality 1to1 chat time with you.

Haven’t RTFT but seen your posts OP. I’m similar but have stopped doing any chores after DC bedtime as I’m too knackered! So the “getting ready” for the next day stuff - could you drop that from your evenings and squeeze it into your 50 minutes getting ready time in the mornings? I find I have about 45 minutes downstairs every morning in which I make DC breakfast, packed lunches, school bags, drink coffee, do my makeup and chat to DC. Could that work for you?

I am also planning on getting a cleaner - not sure if that’s an option!

So you strength train in the morning, walk your dog, get ready and drink coffee, don’t have to do the school run, have a 30 min lunch break which you could do whatever you wanted during.

your getting more “me” time in one day than I get in a week.

I can’t even sh** in peace most days 😂

I would drop the strength training that’s very early to wake up maybe do it once or twice a week with friends to make it social ?
I thibk maybe lower your expectations too- I don’t know anyone that does much in the week it’s generally get up get kids ready , go to work , eat tea ,get kids to bed then rot on phone for few hours then go to sleep ?

WFH all the way baby

I gave up the full time work when i had my second baby. I didnt go back because it just wasnt worth it. Instead i became my own boss and started working as a slimming world consultant. Then i became a utility warehouse partner. I work my own hours, around my family and earn decent money and i have plenty of me time.

If you want to sack the boss earlier and have lots of you time, this is a good way to go about it

I think your “me time” is roughly:

5:45 - 7:15, 30mins lunchtime, 8-9.

There’s already approx 3hrs of it in an average day, which really I would assume is enough.

Your husband sounds like a modern day saint btw, he’s definitely carrying a lot of the childcare load. I appreciate you do the kitchen stuff on an evening but the balance looks way off.

That's loads of me time!

Hey lovely. You know everyone measures things differently and so some people's responses seem judgy.
You do You.
What works for you and your family wouldn't work for mine.
Also, I'm the one up early doors to walk the dog. Some days that is me time, other days is pissing (sorry to the tame readers) down and an absolute chore. Other days the birds are singing and it's a pleasure

Your in the trenches of full time work and small children and trying to juggle that. I 100% feel it. Not having a day to just run errands and then feeling the pressure to do "weekend stuff" at the weekend. It is a slog.
For me my wins are a slow cooker and we pay a cleaner. It helps me keep my head above water. But would not work for everyone.

Does your husband get me time? I'm really surprised how little you see your kids, and you still want more me time? I think you need to readjust your expectations of parenthood.

I think that sounds like a good amount of time with a full time job and two young children. I would be counting dog walking, your lunch break and your evenings as “me time”. I WFH four days a week and have a toddler and don’t get more - I just have 8.30-9.30pm where I usually watch TV with my husband. I tried getting up at 5 to exercise but then I couldn’t stay awake in the evening 🫣. I miss reading, I have managed to get one book in this year but I was reading that in the evening instead of watching TV, so if I do this we don’t get time together as a couple.

What does "me time" look like for you? Do you mean alone and relaxing?

I think you'll largely have to adjust your mindset at this stage of life - the strength training, the commute, the lunch etc, that's what you've got to work with mostly so think of ways to enjoy them e.g. someone suggested audiobooks. I would add podcasts etc whilst cleaning etc.

I completely get you miss the flexibility of WFH and that you want to move into another job in the future. Sometimes the stress of working full time and being a mum accumulates and I save 2 days of annual leave or so a year to use in term time to do with as I please. Is this an option perhaps?

Hi op, I don't have kids but totally get why you feel burnt out on your 'relaxing me time' that sounds like waking up in the middle of the night to me . I also wfh so totally understand how hard that would to give up. I'd stop accepting your husband can't make lunches or clean the kitchen and say he needs to do it or you'll show him and he can record it and check if he has questions- just like a teams meetings tutorials. And take back a few evenings a week to have some wine, read and watch tv. In bed with the door shut if that's the only way it works without being interrupted

Could you cycle to work and not exercise in the mornings - I used to do this and use my commute as my daily exercise

You wont get what you had with your old job unless you get another wfh flexible job!

Several evenings a week of full alone time with the door shut to your kids and DH with a glass of wine in hand is actual insanity.

Run with the dog.

Christ, the bar is low on this thread.

Some people are claiming walking the dog is "me time". Others are saying OP's 30 minutes lunch break in work is "me time". How have we reached the stage that our lives have become so busy that giving the dog essential daily exercise, and taking a statutory break in a full working day around a fucking business park is seen as "me time".

OP is up early in the morning, to fit everything in and she seems to be doing a lot of the drudgery in the evenings whereas her DH gets to do the fun kid stuff. What is OP's DH doing early in the morning to help the kids get ready? He could help while OP gets herself ready, and vice versa.

OP, I get you. It IS hard work and energy-zapping when you have kids and a full time job. Let no-one try to insinuate that it isn't. You can just about manage it when you're young, but once you're over 50 that rate of busyness and trying to do so much during the week is extremely hard. You just don't have the energy the same.

I haven't really got much advice, just sympathy really. I just wish life was set up so that everyone wasn't so damned busy working, and we all had proper time for each other through the week.

My god you have loads of personal time. Just go out one evening if you want and leave DH to it. But a workout and 2 solo walks is way more than most parents get

Awful response. I don't think DH is doing any more than what OP is, they're just doing different domestic jobs.

I know I lots of dads who have a 2 nights off a week after work for hobbies and nights oute so I dont think its crazy to expect children to be looked after by their by their father and not disturb their mother, even if in the home. They must understand the premise of not disturbing parents at home if they both wfh.

This is a reason why I've been looking for ways to get out of the 9-5 grind. I'll report back if I find a way out, maybe.

You're trying to fit small slices of life into any hour you can and then expect to be able to enjoy it. It doesn't work like that, and if anything, you add more stress by attempting to find some extra time for yourself.

Remember you've got at least another 40 years of this.

Bottom line: If you feel trapped, that's because you are. You're paid just enough to keep showing up, and that's what you do; you keep going to work because you face ruination if you don't.