Struggling with DH’s redundancy

[Gettingonabitnow]

Hi. DH is late 40’s and being made redundant from a public sector role. It’s quite niche and his cv isn’t travelling well in the private sector. Roles are coming up around once every six months in the public sector for which he’s getting interviews but not quite securing due to the overwhelming competition.

The whole situation is consuming me and I’m really struggling. He’s quite resilient and is taking it well but I know deep down it’s killing him. The first thing I do when I wake up is look for jobs for him and it’s the last thing I think about at night. Our lives are on hold.

Strangely it something I don’t want to talk to my friends about, not that I have that many these days.

If you’ve been through similar how have you coped? X

At various times DH and I have temped, just to keep the money coming in. I went for one temporary assignment and ended up being taken on. I stayed 7 years.
DH is currently doing a delivery driver job for a small company after burning out from a warehouse management job for one of the big high street retailers. He absolutely loves driving around the city.

I got made redundant afew years back, and it is incredibly stressful.
I went to a temping agency and managed to get work fairly quickly although at a much lower level and on less pay, but I took it as we needed the money to live, and it then gave me chance to be applying for permanent roles whilst keeping the money coming in.
I think in the current climate, organisations aren’t using temps as much, a good friend is pregnant and her team are expected to absorb her job while she is off and this is worrying her as if they manage without her for 6-9-12 months - she’s worried they will say they don’t need the role.
I’d say that he needs to be considering ANYTHING at all, driving jobs, delivery drivers for courier firms, retail, hospitality

when you have commitment’s, you can’t have a “that is beneath me” type of attitude really - it’s hard, I get it and when people have worked hard to get a job in their field it’s disheartening but you still need money to live on and it keeps you ticking over.

It seems a bit odd that it is so niche there are only roles once every 6 months, but there is overwhelming competition from loads of other specialists for them each time.

First off, what is he lacking that they have? A particular qualification? Location? Insider knowledge or contacts? Something else? Identify the gap and address it.

Second, if you don't want to say exactly what his specialism is (understandable), can you give a comparable analogy so we can try and understand the wider issue a bit better? Although obviously much more useful if you can give the actual one though.

This, I think it shows you like the structure of work and are flexible/proactive.

Sorry to hear this op. It sounds quite similar to our situation. We’re coming up to a year since dh was made redundant, he found out just before Easter last year. His job too is very niche and seems to have fallen victim to the AI boom. We’ve had to deplete all of our savings to pay bills as we have a mortgage so UC won’t pay anything towards that. He’s applied for over 70 jobs, but no luck, tbf he’s not even sure how many of those actually existed as some were through linked in and it’s notorious for advertising jobs that don’t exist. He’s also registered with lots of agencies and again nothing.

He’s late 40s and has done this job since he was 18, he’s very good at it and has a wealth of experience and was on a decent salary. I go through phases of panic thinking is this it then? Is that his career over? His mental health has taken a real hit from this, he has a good hobby in a volunteer organisation that keeps him busy and has been his lifeline in keeping him mentally active during this time.

In the last month he’s found a minimum wage cafe job which he’s doing just to get by. He keeps applying for jobs as that’s all he can do. We’re hoping that something will come up soon but when you have over 200 people applying for 1 job then it’s a tough gig.

We too feel like life is on hold. No new purchases for 12 months, worried sick in case one of the cars breaks down or a problem with the boiler etc as there just is nothing there to pay for these things.

Good luck and I hope your dh find something soon.

The problem here is that you’re his safety net. If he was single, he’d have made a hell of an effort to have cash coming in. He simply isn’t hungry enough for work as you’re his cash point. There are always jobs,
always. Shitty, nasty, dirty jobs. But jobs to be done for some money rather than sitting at home vegetating and earning nothing. I remember temping 8-4 in an office and then cleaning 5-8 at the local hospital back in the day. It’s what you do to get by. He can’t be arsed. Sorry. But that’s the truth of it. He needs to shape up or ship out before he drags you down with him.

Hi. To be clear he’s not sitting about - he’s a great hardworking man and a fantastic dad. He does tonnes around the house too. He’s a great guy, it’s just a crap situation.

Thanks - and good luck to you too.

I think days is possibly unrealistic in this current market.
I cannot overstate my shock at the disruption AI has brought to the process and its eating its own tail because now people apply for so many if you wanted to NOT use AI you'd struggle as you'd be sifting through thousands of applications.

I would be anxious though. He needs to land something SOON
My friend who have been "out" longer are struggling badly.... some are now "unemployable" as they've been out 18m +

The markets too fierce. You will almost never be picked over a candidate in a relevant role.
There's a real risk of permanent unemployment if it goes on too long.

That leaves OP in a bad place with limited options - imagine a world where he's not earning and doing nothing at home... thats unsustainable for her but if she wants to divorce it'll be a 70/80 split in his favour as he is the stay at home 😵‍💫

There aren't many roles in the public sector which are not replicated in some form in the private sector. He needs to widen his search. Public sector is very over resourced and needs to shrink the LAs are under pressure to do so

I recently came out of recruitment and I would say that sadly the line of looking for a more junior role in the same field is not generally the answer. Due to the amount of strong experienced candidates on the market and lack of roles, they all eventually start looking at more junior. It rarely works and candidates feel more dejected. It’s not about the experience they are then not being considered but team fit, experience level within the team might not sit right, they want some one who they can mould and bring up the ranks and also they highly suspect the more experienced candidates feel is using them as a stop gap.
I would suggest; FTC may be your friend and they would perhaps consider someone who’s more senior for a wider range of roles and doing lots of outreach for jobs not on the market. Chat gpt can be helpful to establish lists of these and potential adjacent companies or where they might hire his kind of specialisms. A huge amount of roles happen on networking without ever advertising. By that stage, it’s competitive. Lots of LinkedIn and introduction messages to people. Go old school basically!

Unless you are recently unemployed or have been looking for other work you don’t realise how bad the market is right now. Less companies are hiring and the jobs just aren’t there. AI is responsible for a lot of creative job losses.

The job market is really tough at the moment.

Thank you for saying this.

Very hard OP - they are restructuring where DH works as well and we are very worried about it. The job market is extremely poor.

If he was in a niche role suited to Public Sector and the Public Sector are making those positions redundant, it's time for a career change unless you want a permanent house husband.

@hmmnotreallysure "Sorry to hear this op. It sounds quite similar to our situation. We’re coming up to a year since dh was made redundant, he found out just before Easter last year. His job too is very niche and seems to have fallen victim to the AI boom."

It is unlikely his whole role has been eliminated by AI, but it may have been changed by it. I also work in an role/profession that is deeply impacted but I have put my teams onto courses and training and hands-on work dealing with the new tech (Claude Code in our case) and they are upskilling to do their old jobs in a new way using it. I am very impressed with what it can do in terms of taking routine or otherwise manual/tedious tasks and elevate them, leaving my team to add the cherries on top and oversight of the output. It is good for them too, and their future careers.

Is your husband looking for his "old" job, or is he actively and purposely getting on board the AI train to go with it? Because of its newness, the "experts" are relatively far and few between - and self-taught/proclaimed mostly, so there is a massive opportunity to leap ahead of others who are just using it, and become one of the experts who can run it. I wish him well.

Don’t put your life on hold, focus on well-being. Now’s the time to re establish your friendships and get out more.

Your Dh hasn’t even had his payout yet so no need to panic, it’s very early days.

Make a list of all the jobs you don’t normally have time for. He can get these done bit by bit.

Don’t look for jobs for him. He’s perfectly capable of doing this himself - he’s not your child!

DH & I were both very senior public servants, & were co-incidentally made redundant within a month of each other. Same problem - too many similarly qualified staff chasing too few jobs.

There's always work around if you're prepared to do anything. We survived with bar & hotel work, mini-cabbing, tour guide (lived in a tourist area), and agency temping :-
"You're an accountant ? We've got the perfect job for you, cashier in a Bookies."

We did both get back to suitable positions, but it took longer than we thought.

I was made redundant in November, its crap, does he have to remain in the same career?

Thats what I’ve done, its a similar industry so it uses my skills, it does of course mean a pay cut as I’m no longer in a senior position, but it won’t stay that way forever.

Thanks everyone. Whoever suggested FTC work yes that’s a potential route to go down and they do come up.

This has happened to us twice. The first time he walked into another role that started within days of redundancy the second time was much harder and took nearly a year. I also looked for anything that I thought he might be suitable for as sometimes it can be difficult when you are concentrating on one particular role to see where else your skills might fit. In the end he got a better paying job in the private sector after initially taking it on a temporary basis which they then offered as a permanent role. It was something he wouldn't normally have looked at but was offered by someone he cultivated through networking. After a few years he did move back to the public sector as he missed making a difference in a local community and found it hard to get over excited about the product he was involved with. It all felt a bit purposeless. However it got us through a tough time and certainly paid better! He networked quite a bit, used LinkedIn, paid a career coach for a few sessions and generally got himself out there. Good Luck.

Not sure what his role is but if he's just for e.g. an accountant then that job is transferable into lots of different sectors. He needs to cast his bet wider that his usual industries.
I'd suggest he:

1. Uses LinkedIn if he hasn't already got an account & follow industries & temping agencies as they post regularly online.
2. Select open to work on his LinkedIn profile so people know that he's actively job hunting
3. Sign up for temping agencies
4. Update his CV & tailor his application for each job advert
5. Attend networking events
6. Volunteer as a charity trustee as that's a good way to broaden your network, experience & show responsibility

There's all sorts of roles advertised on these sites, they're not strictly specific to one type only. My friend previously worked in Higher Ed and switched to a similar roles but in a completely different industry for £20k more. He needs to think pragmatically and be proactive.

https://www.charityjob.co.uk/jobs

Jobs.ac.uk

https://www.uksport.gov.uk/JOBS?tags=158%2C161%2C162&sort=n

https://jobsinfootball.com/cities/jobs-in-london/

https://careers.thefa.com/jobs/vacancy/find/results/

https://jobs.redbull.com/int-en/locations/red-bull-uk?lang=en-gb

https://wwecorp.wd5.myworkdayjobs.com/IMG/?locations=1e0fb40cce8b1001fd2bc051db160000

https://www.civilservicejobs.service.gov.uk/csr/index.cgi

OP he needs to widen his job search and fast...

Just waiting for a job similar to the one he left with a similar salary is not a good strategy in a difficult job market.

If he has a driving licence he could do some delivery work or do shifts driving a cab.

Also sign up for temp work with various agencies highlighting his transferable skills.

Basically he needs to be willing to do anything that will bring some money in, not just sit at home.

Back in the 80s I quit a relatively well paid job to go to uni as a mature student. Huge drop in income (there were grants back then) and I took any part time job I could find. Call centers, market research, debt collection and even a chat line (AKA sex line). Later when I got my first degree I networked furiously among contacts to finance myself through a masters.

I feel its a mistake not to reach out to friends, Redundancy is nothing to be ashamed of. Friends have friends and through contacts DH may be able to secure some work in the meantime. Its imprtant to explore every avenue in order to bring in the money and not just sit about waiting for the "right" job to come up. I am sure DH must have some transferable skills which he can work on. Registering with more than one agency is a good suggestion. It may lead to roles that he is not used to working in (retail, warehousing etc) but shows employers he is willing to go out and graft.