any managers here? i need help - have got myself into big trouble at work

[nailpolish]

me and my big gob are being disciplined

i got a letter this morning and i have to phone my manager to "explain myself"

i am shitting it

Oh dear - depends what have you actually done ?

I should think best line generally is extreme abject apology and humbleness - promising never to do it again if you want to keep job !

ACAS ring them NOW

what happened?
is this a formal disciplinary?
have there been previous warnings?
try to stay calm, these things do happen all the time at work.

yes i thought that would be best

but what i really want to do is stand up for myself - although it would come across as being argumentative i think

its so unfair

i shouted and got very angry with matron. i also stormed out

she complained to my manager

i have never been in trouble before

It really does depend what you have done !

If for example you have blabbed something confidential - like results of an interview panel, or a company secret etc it would be diffrent matter to being overhaerd gossiping about said boss in the loos !

Is what you did really defendable ? If so - and you had good reasons for doing it - go ahead and defend yourself.

You could defend yourself by explaining the reasons why you did what you did, whilst accepting that maybe you didn't go about it in the best way etc ?

Are you a member of a union? Speak to them before doing anything.

custy, will they help me - i work fr the nhs

Ah sorry - cross posted there.

Oh that's not so bad ! You can blame stress and stressful situation - you just lost your temper and realise you shouldn't have and will promise to apologise to matron etc

Also write down a detailed report of what happened (from your point of view) as a contemporaneous record which can be referred to later if needed.

Obviously shouting and storming out isn't on, so you should apologise for that, say you understand completely that it is not acceptable behaviour and are fully prepared to apologise to matron.

That doesn't mean you can't 'stand up for yourself' in terms of what you were actually cross about, depending obviously on what it was and whether you feel you had a legitimate right to be upset.

Have you been in touch with your union rep?

ok, from one nurse to another! Is the matron your line manager, or is she one up from that? Are you having to see her or your manager? Was your shouting work related and can your behaviour be justified by the situation?

It being your first offence you should be fine. It is obviously out of character, driven by extreme duress etc and you will say how much you regret it and will never do it again etc - note on file at most I should think

If you're in the rcn, get the number of your steward and call them - they will advise you.

I agree with flowery - I would expect anyone who shouted at me and stormed out to start with apologising profusely and accepting that its not the way to deal with anything.

I think you can ask how you can raise whatever the original issue was in a more sensible fashion now that you've had the chance the calm down.

It may not be apporpirate to address it in the same meeting as it may look like justification - IME an unqualified apology works much much better than an apology "but".

Unless of course what you were arguing about was so extreme that any normal person would have also lost their temper.

i could tell you waht i was angry about it but its actually quite boring not relevant

matron isnt my line manager - i dont even think she will be there - i could offer to write her an apology possibly i suppose

madamy - yes it was work related - the usual crap

NBG, can I just ask why did you shout and storm, were you emotional about the argument in question or do you have a personality clash with the matron?

This might influence your apology I think.

Agree with Huw, it's the reason why you got angry that is important.

DO you have to speak to your manager today?

I think that unless your letter mentions the disciplinary procedure etc, you need to take a deep breath and speak honestly to your manager about the issues that were making you angry. If it's patient related/staffing etc then s/he should be open to discussing them with you. I think it's really unusual to get a letter, especially as you say you've never been 'in trouble' before. When I was a WM, I would speak informally to a member of staff before getting the 'big guns' out.

If the letter mentions disciplinary etc, then you are entitled to take somebody with you for support to the meeting, be that union rep, someone from staff side, HR or a colleague.

no i actually think she is an ok matron. i get on fine with her usually

i was very emotional and it was in the middle of the night. i had just been working my backside off in one ward and they moved me to another ward where i had to do the same all over again, they asked me to go and help in another ward blah blah blah

it was a case of "oh ask nailpolish she will do it"

well not this bloody time i said

the letter just says i have to call him today to make an appt to go and see him in his office to discuss my conduct

Stress and Duress !! That's your defence

So when you stormed off, did you leave work - i.e. were you awol?

xp nailpolish.

Your post says it all. Any reasonable manager would see you side of the story. I think you'll have to apologise either in person or by letter to the matron though!