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To leave a job with nothing to go to?

43 replies

Mannie1234 · 02/03/2026 22:29

In the space of six months, my job has changed to the point I just can't stand it anymore and it's really affecting my wellbeing outside of work. My manager was suddenly sacked, purely because the MD never took to him. That left them in the lurch, but as I'm the most experienced in my small team of 5, I was called into the MD's office and told the pieces would be for me to pick up. It was strongly implied that if I proved myself, promotion would be an option, but I was told by the MD "I hate people leaving on time, so I'd like to see you stay late every day (with no overtime payment)". I was given a small salary increase, but told that I wouldn't qualify for the yearly salary increase this year, so in effect not an increase just awarded slightly early for getting them out of a huge mess totally of their own making. Despite being the most experienced in the field, I'm not the longest serving in my team by any stretch, so I don't have the most senior title or salary (in fact, the MD frequently reminds me how my senior has half the workload I do). I've done so much to help them out of a mess, where they were all sweetness and smiles, to then have someone in their early 20s brought up with absolutely zero experience, who I'm expected to train to be my manager, just because they like this person. As if that isn't enough, we've also lost an extremely experienced team member who was fed up with the incompetence of the company, only to be replaced by another person with zero experience because they're liked by management, which just means the rest of us are expected to pick up the slack and carry them along. In the wider company, there's a real clique culture (particularly worse these days) and a culture of encouraging incompetence and doing the bare minimum for the majority, who can come and go as late/early as they please and do what they like, while the rest of us are watched 24/7 for the tiniest slip. I'm not the only one who is at their wits end, much less the only one to notice this double-standard in the company.

This young trainee came up with the most unbelievably arrogant attitude, they've made every work day total misery for me ever since. But management buy into it, despite already making one or two major slip ups. I'm getting completely sidelined, my work going to the trainee. To top it all off, ever since the trainee came up, I've been treated like dirt by management. And I mean personally, not just professionally - people I used to consider friends in management, these days are outright rude to me and can hardly even bring themselves to say good morning. Essentially, they hated my old manager, and as we worked as a team of just the 2 of us in our department, it feels like they want a complete clean up and I'm guilty by association. They had to keep me sweet while they had nobody else, but now they've got somebody else, it's extremely apparent that they're trying to force me out, but they don't want to make me redundant (which I almost am at this stage - and would gladly accept) or offer me any sort of package.

I've been really struggling to drag myself into work, as the environment is making me very depressed (I have struggled with depression in the past, but ultimately I find instead of reaching for pills, it's the root cause which needs to be addressed). Out of character for me, I've been arriving approx 10 mins late, which is inexcusable. However today, I was spoken to about it by HR, who accused me of routinely being 30+ mins late (an outright lie), but said "I really can't be bothered to check CCTV" (because there would be no proof of that sort of lateness). I was told it came from the MD, who I now work directly for, who I had a meeting with earlier in the day. Instead of asking if anything was the matter, it was referred straight to HR, with an exaggerated claim they have no evidence of.

I think they've won, as I just can't stand it any more. I live alone, so have nobody to support me while out of work, but I do have a 'side hustle' which pays most of my bills plus about 10 months worth of savings. I also have a second interview with another company lined up later this week. Even if I don't get that, I could get something part-time, which would give me the opportunity to try and make more of a go of my second self-employed career and build up more work. It's a vicious circle, where if I stay, it just doesn't put me in a great frame of mind to go to interviews. It's also affecting my other work, as I just feel so drained and down all the time.

There is more I haven't said, conversations and insults I've received from the MD I work for (one of which he did later apologise for). Relatives I've discussed with have said it sounds toxic, they clearly want me out, so they'd just go and concentrate on finding something else. Ideally, this is what I'd like to do, but in such a tough jobs market, would this be reckless? Or is getting out of a toxic environment the best move I could make?

OP posts:
CleanSkin · 02/03/2026 22:39

It depends…
29 years ago I did almost exactly that (due to bullying by the Director I reported to, which destroyed my mental health).
I was unemployed for 6 weeks & then found an excellent job, where I had a great career for 20 years.
Then-DH & I took the financial risk & very fortunately it paid off; clearly the job market now is very different to the late 90’s.
(I’m sure you’ll get good advice here about your potential legal position, so I’ll leave that to others.)

So one big question is simply can you afford to take the financial risks?

Best wishes whichever way you choose to go x

AcquadiP · 02/03/2026 22:47

Given your side hustle pays most of your bills and you have savings, I believe you should chance it and leave. Your existing workplace does sound toxic and if you stay it will have continue to negatively effect your mental health and possibly your physical health as well. With any luck you'll be successful in your second interview this week. 🤞

Mannie1234 · 02/03/2026 22:58

CleanSkin · 02/03/2026 22:39

It depends…
29 years ago I did almost exactly that (due to bullying by the Director I reported to, which destroyed my mental health).
I was unemployed for 6 weeks & then found an excellent job, where I had a great career for 20 years.
Then-DH & I took the financial risk & very fortunately it paid off; clearly the job market now is very different to the late 90’s.
(I’m sure you’ll get good advice here about your potential legal position, so I’ll leave that to others.)

So one big question is simply can you afford to take the financial risks?

Best wishes whichever way you choose to go x

Thanks for your response, I’m really happy to hear everything worked out for you in the end. My biggest worry right now is if things get so bad that I do something which could make getting a reference tricky, as ideally I need one from them. I’m trying to keep calm, but it feels like workplace bullying and a lot of lip biting is required! I should add that things really started to turn sour with management and me about a year ago, when a new company director was appointed, who is best friends with a director from my last company which I moved on from due to being bullied by. The first conversation I had with this new director was “I’m best friends with xxx and we’ve been talking about you”. The trainee has been brought up by this director. I’ve been unable to shake the feeling there’s a bit of a witch hunt going on. I got on great with management for years until this new director came onto the scene. They hated my old manager more, but I feel like I’m next on the list.

OP posts:
Mannie1234 · 02/03/2026 23:00

AcquadiP · 02/03/2026 22:47

Given your side hustle pays most of your bills and you have savings, I believe you should chance it and leave. Your existing workplace does sound toxic and if you stay it will have continue to negatively effect your mental health and possibly your physical health as well. With any luck you'll be successful in your second interview this week. 🤞

Thank you, I was worrying if I was overreacting, but any family I’ve discussed it with have also said it sounds toxic, so the reassurance I’m not being unreasonable in my feelings is helpful too!

OP posts:
Pippinx · 02/03/2026 23:02

Can you off work on sickness due to stress? Look for something whole you are off and do your side hustle.
dont make it too easy for them by just leaving…..

Offherrockingchair · 02/03/2026 23:06

Don’t quit immediately! Go off sick with work related stress first and run out the sickness policy time you can get paid. You could also try for constructive dismissal, but not sure if I’d be up for the fight on that one.

Mannie1234 · 02/03/2026 23:08

Pippinx · 02/03/2026 23:02

Can you off work on sickness due to stress? Look for something whole you are off and do your side hustle.
dont make it too easy for them by just leaving…..

I think I could, as my doctor knows I struggle on and off with depression. This has genuinely depressed me to the point it’s taking its toll on my physical health and personal relationships, so it would probably be the best course of action. But speaking about it with my dad, he said that might make it harder getting a new job if I sign off sick due to depression. I’m not sure if that’s true or not though. I agree in an ideal world, I don’t want to readily give them my resignation which they so clearly want.

OP posts:
DeborahVance · 02/03/2026 23:45

I'd get signed off and look for other jobs.

Isit2026yet · 02/03/2026 23:47

@Mannie1234 leave and take a break

MissCooCooMcgoo · 03/03/2026 06:40

Get signed off for as long as possible and job hunt.

Your dad is in the dark ages. No new job needs to know your signed off from your current one.

I'd wring as much cash out of them as i could before i left.

SantasBairyHollocks · 03/03/2026 06:44

If you go sick for a few weeks and give yourself some breathing space might your boss be amenable to a package to leave when you return? They would feel they have won and you would get a payoff and a pre agreed reference.

just a suggestion that has worked for me before.

Toxic bosses usually don’t think straight when someone goes off sick.

GirlFromMontmartre · 03/03/2026 06:48

Definitely get signed off, have some breathing space and decide what you really want

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 03/03/2026 06:51

Get signed off and job hunt/linked in like mad on those days. I wouldn’t leave a job without another to go to as I did this and it put me on the back foot when I did want another permanent job. I mean I got interviews and all (I’d gone into contract temping) but it was harder.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 03/03/2026 06:53

Try to get a pay off to leave, Compromise or settlement agreement, which they may or may not agree to.

Amiacoolorwarmcolour · 03/03/2026 06:59

I would go on sick leave and look for another job.
Given you have a side hustle and savings I’d then leave this job after first signing on sick.

helloy · 03/03/2026 07:02

You can get signed off sick, it will be very hard for them to say/do anything then on as it will look like disability discrimination, so any disciplinaries, meetings about your work, they would need to be very careful.
As for a reference, they can only give facts and can’t make it personal or negative due to slander. So instead, a “bad” reference just includes date you started and left, but even so, this isn’t enough to tell a new employer anything concerning. They could say about time off due to sickness, but cannot disclose details on what, and again and prospective employers cannot discriminate if you’ve had time off due to mental health and its classed as a disability. (I work in HR)
I probably would just leave if its that bad, especially if you’ve got another income. Jobs always come and go and its really not that important in the grand scheme of things.
Hope this helps

dollyblue01 · 03/03/2026 07:02

Your mental health is worth more than any job, get signed off and get yourself into a good place , knowing that you’ll never be going back there again.
I had similar, my work colleague who was excellent at her job and my friend , got bullied as she wasn’t liked, when she eventually couldn’t work there anymore, because she suffered with her mental health due to the bullying, it was just me and they turned on me, I went off sick had some time to get myself back to being me, but the day I got signed off I knew I was never making myself go back there again, it was like a weight lifted.
i job hunted and now work for an amazing company and pinch myself every single day that I don’t have to go there , pretty badly played with my mental health, it was toxic and still is from what I hear.
no job it worth feeling the way you do.
for me the people were the problem or some of them in the little circle its was like being bullied at school, I never said goodbye but when they asked to meet up to give me a card, I just replied and said no thank you.
They knew what they had done.

Astra53 · 03/03/2026 07:08

Get yourself signed off sick and keep contact with your employer to the bare minimum. Make sure you comply with their sickness policy. Request a copy from them. If you have the time and energy, find a good employment law specialist and cite constructive dismissal.

Iocanepowder · 03/03/2026 07:11

Yeah get signed off or quit if you can afford it.

Sorry op your boss sounds like an absolute shitbag.

hattie43 · 03/03/2026 07:21

That sounds intolerable OP. I guess leaving depends on your finances but I’d definitely be getting my ducks in a row . FWIW I did walk out of a job years ago because I just couldn’t face going in and like you it was internal politics that became insufferable. It was the best thing I ever did but the work situation was different then in that there were plenty of jobs out there .

Allisgoodtoday · 03/03/2026 07:36

Staying in a toxic job which affects you so much is never, ever helpful. Smile sweetly and hand in your notice immediately, before your mental wellbeing suffers badly. Don't be drawn into arguments or conversations about it, other than you're looking for new directions/a change, thank you for your support over the years, blah, blah.... It won't be the truth but it is the best you can do if you might possibly need a reference in the future.

If they kick off about letting you go/special projects/long notice, don't be afraid to go off sick with a doctor's letter if necessary. They may not like it but what are they going to do? Sack you? You're leaving anyway, who cares....

WhoStoleAllTheUserNames · 03/03/2026 07:43

I’ve done that. Looking back I can’t believe I did it, as I had nursery bills to cover and DH was in a brand new job too. But I figured it would be easier to job hunt if I was in the right mindset, and I had lots of contacts that I couldn’t use until I had at least told work my intentions, plus I knew work would let me stay at least 3 months extra if I needed to as they were short staffed (and I didn’t hate it quite as much as you).

I did find something immediately, through contacts as I’d expected. But the job market now is very different and I know people in different ends of the employment market struggling at the moment after being made redundant.

It also gave me a certain amount of respect from my new boss!

In your position with most of your hooks covered and savings and willingness to work part time I think i would go for it too. But just model what would happen if you can’t find part time work. Can you expand your side hustle?

Edited to add - this is the best risk I have ever taken. Transformed my life (positively!)

disappearingfish · 03/03/2026 08:17

Given your circumstances yes, I would leave asap. However, don’t frame it as them “winning”. They have lost an excellent employee and will be all the poorer for it.

Youabsoluteblinder · 03/03/2026 08:18

OP - get signed off. Take this time to regroup and look for another role.

I did this exact thing a year ago; went off sick for 3 months for stress (was completely burnt out due to horrible line manager). Fortunately received a package that enabled me to have the summer off to regroup, although I did look for roles during this time. I secured my current role in September and started it in November. Whilst it's a 12 month FTC, I have no regrets going off sick from my previous job.

Greenwitchart · 03/03/2026 09:35

As other have said go on sick leave for your stress so you can get some breathing space and start job hunting.

Take all the sick pay/leave you are entitled to and resign so you never have to go back to that place.

They have treated you really badly so you need to put yourself first.