Do I need to speak to HR?

[Dellmouse]

My manager made a comment on a teams meeting to me today that’s really upset me. I’m unsure whether to speak to him about it (he’s not approachable), speak to HR or just keep my head down.

For reference I returned to work Jan 2025 after a year maternity leave. I am pregnant again, due in June and told my manager in Jan 2026. He clearly wasn’t happy, made comments such a “that was quick” and “wasn’t one enough” but I just shrugged it off.

Had a meeting earlier where he talked broadly about our performance. There is a general feeling that that company isn’t doing so well at the moment and they may be looking to make cuts. I work four days a week and he made a comment that my four day week was “one of the many things putting me at a disadvantage at the moment”.

Ive had to take some time off recently (all annual leave) because my little boy wasn’t well. I’ve taken four days so far this year (my husband has taken 3 and it will be his turn to tackle the next day when it comes). I’ve booked as many antenatal appointments as possible for Fridays when I’m off but I have two doctors I need to see that only work Mondays and Tuesdays so have also taken some time out for these. Overall this has reduced my output so I can see why the comment has been made, but what am I supposed to do?

Im not sure if I should speak to HR about what is expected of me? I don’t want to cause a fuss over nothing or put a target on my back. Very unsure how to tackle this!

I think the bigger question is what (in his opinion) are the many other things that are putting you at a disadvantage?

On a more general level, he seems to be dissatisfied with your work output?

Both the previous answers need to be considered. Will you take another year off after the baby is born? Is he worrying about that maybe?

I think you need to make contemporaneous notes of all your interactions with him in case you need them later. If you have an employee helpline, I'd check out where you stand. The comments about being quick and one not being enough sound discriminatory.

Typo

HR is not on your side and they are not there to listen to your hurty feels.

Is your manager treating you unfairly due to pregnancy/childcare/maternity? If so speak to your union or ACAS.

He’s saying being part time is a disadvantage on the time of cuts, this is likely accurate. What are the other things. You need to clarify this.

I'd tell him I've reflected on what he has said ... and give it him both barrels, sexist that.

Not necessarily true. Managers behaving this way should be getting a severe bollocking to protect the company!

He’s had no meeting with me to discuss my performance. Just this comment really threw me. I work in procurement so he counts how many orders we each place a day - I have the least so far this year but I’ve have shorter weeks, used more annual leave and a couple of maternity appointments. It’s also not been busy, but I have been asking for a completing separate tasks so I’m not twiddling my thumbs.
We have a company meeting once a quarter on a Friday - he said I’m at a disadvantage for not going but I had already told him I would attend and arrange childcare for the next meeting. It’s hard because I can’t invent stuff to order and I complete everything I’m given daily.

Well that makes sense
by not being at a quarterly meeting that does put you at a disadvantage because you’ll miss out on an important meeting.

isnt he just stating the obvious?

He may well be worried about your upcoming mat leave but that’s tough. You have a right to the leave and should never be put in a position whereby you need to apologise for being pregnant. You are having a baby (and managing the many illnesses etc that typically occur at this age as best you can) not taking time off for an extended holiday. I would do as a pp suggests and log every interaction with him. His behaviour is potentially discriminatory. Remain professional and continue to work as effectively as you can.

Your output should be measured equitably surely. Orders per hour worked. How else can you measure one employee fairly against another?

I would ask for the work to be prorated, so you’d be expected to do 20 percent less.

You need to record the comments and concerns with HR. You can be factual but explain you feel that factors relating to your pregnancy are negqtivley impacting on your managers view of your work output/quality.

HR is concerned with protecting the employer, but part of that is listening to and addressing concerns of it's employees and ensuring it's legal obligations to its staff are being fulfilled. They want to know if there is a potential case for discrimination brewing. Pregnancy is a highly protected characteristic and it simply isn't good business sense to try and chase out pregnant, or recently returning post maternity employees. You need to have these comments recorded in writing in case you need to rely on it later. I say this as someone responsible for HR department and corporate governance, that spends a large proportion of the working week managing employee risk.

But Ive said I’ll go - no problem. Last one he told us at 9am the day off so no one in the team made it (different office).

Has this thread been infiltrated by Reform supporters?

Honestly, I know this probably unpopular but I’d keep my head down if your company has an even half decent HR team. While you’re pregnant and on mat leave you have a degree of cover and most HR would push back on any kinds of performance measures or redundancy for a pregnant/ML colleague.

You’ve got maybe 3 months to power through, just let it wash off you, go in, do your job. Then I’d job hunt on mat leave with a view to starting a new job when you’re ready to return.

Do factor in maternity pay - whether you’re required to pay it back if you don’t go back.

Of course, if it becomes unbearable you could look at starting ML early, but you may have to stretch your pay if you want a full year after baby arrives.

I know we should advocate standing up for ourselves but in these scenarios I think you have to put yourself and your family ahead of making a point.

He sounds a bit inept. What is the culture like generally in terms of treating women, mothers and part time workers fairly?

My male manager had this to say when I requested working four days a week after maternity leave: 'You've just had eight months off. Do you just fancy some more time off or is it so you can spend it with kiddie?' T*sser.

Across the company it’s ok as far as I know. My manager definitely believes women should be stay at home mums if they want children. He's the sort that books a holiday but takes his laptop and works on the beach and views people who don’t do that as lazy.

@Dellmouse keep a record of each interaction, ideally maintain a timeline.

Essentially he is giving you ammunition. Posts are made redundant not people. As a pp said HR manage risk for the business and your manager is creating a risk of a valid claim for discrimination.

I will do this. It’s frustrating as there’s never been any issue with my performance raised before. During Covid I was only one not furloughed as I was seen most capable. I came back on a four day week on a trial basis, was supposed to have monthly meetings to discuss if it was working - over a year on and we haven’t had one meeting!

I would recommend you raise a grievance with HR, I know it’s probably a bit scary but it will probably have a beneficial impact (1) clarify what comments you have found to be derogatory, unfounded and discrimitory. Request that someone discusses this with your manager making it clear you don’t want to cause trouble but you want someone to help guide him if the terrible impact he is having. Putting this on record will actually make it more likely that your job would be safe, because any action following the complaint is likely to be seen as retribution and hence discrimitory. put it in email (written) and ask for help or guidance how this behaviour can be reduced or mitigated. I’m assuming you wirk for a reasonable size company if u have HR. If you work for a small company I would not advise this approach.

Potential discrimination isn't 'hurty feels'.

OP you should absolutely speak to HR.

OP make notes of everything your manager has said to you.

If an employee is treated less favourably/ told they are more at risk of redundancy because they are pregnant and part-time is both discriminatory and illegal.

Speak to ACAS and then raise a grievance against your manager with HR.

Basically you want to nip this in the bud. Any good HR department will see your manager behaviour as exposing the company to an employment tribunal case.