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Original poster

Do I need to speak to HR?

30 replies

Dellmouse · 25/02/2026 17:42

My manager made a comment on a teams meeting to me today that’s really upset me. I’m unsure whether to speak to him about it (he’s not approachable), speak to HR or just keep my head down.

For reference I returned to work Jan 2025 after a year maternity leave. I am pregnant again, due in June and told my manager in Jan 2026. He clearly wasn’t happy, made comments such a “that was quick” and “wasn’t one enough” but I just shrugged it off.

Had a meeting earlier where he talked broadly about our performance. There is a general feeling that that company isn’t doing so well at the moment and they may be looking to make cuts. I work four days a week and he made a comment that my four day week was “one of the many things putting me at a disadvantage at the moment”.

Ive had to take some time off recently (all annual leave) because my little boy wasn’t well. I’ve taken four days so far this year (my husband has taken 3 and it will be his turn to tackle the next day when it comes). I’ve booked as many antenatal appointments as possible for Fridays when I’m off but I have two doctors I need to see that only work Mondays and Tuesdays so have also taken some time out for these. Overall this has reduced my output so I can see why the comment has been made, but what am I supposed to do?

Im not sure if I should speak to HR about what is expected of me? I don’t want to cause a fuss over nothing or put a target on my back. Very unsure how to tackle this!

OP posts:

AStonedRose · 26/02/2026 08:38

WizdomE · 26/02/2026 06:56

I would recommend you raise a grievance with HR, I know it’s probably a bit scary but it will probably have a beneficial impact (1) clarify what comments you have found to be derogatory, unfounded and discrimitory. Request that someone discusses this with your manager making it clear you don’t want to cause trouble but you want someone to help guide him if the terrible impact he is having. Putting this on record will actually make it more likely that your job would be safe, because any action following the complaint is likely to be seen as retribution and hence discrimitory. put it in email (written) and ask for help or guidance how this behaviour can be reduced or mitigated. I’m assuming you wirk for a reasonable size company if u have HR. If you work for a small company I would not advise this approach.

Please, please don’t do this, OP. HR works for the company, not you. in theory it could be the ‘right thing’ but in practice it may turn out really badly.

he’s a tosser though. I’d be looking for another job

disappearingfish · 26/02/2026 08:42

usedtobeaylis · 26/02/2026 08:20

Potential discrimination isn't 'hurty feels'.

OP you should absolutely speak to HR.

Show quote history

So far there has been no discriminatory actions by her manager or the company, according to OP. HR is not the playground supervisor to be told that a bigger kid was mean to OP. Yes, HR should be alarmed that the manager is providing evidence for a future grievance against him, but they are acting in the best interests of the company, not individual employees.

The most they will do is remind the manager to stop saying stupid things that expose the organisation to risk.

OP can best protect herself by taking contemporaneous notes and speaking to her union.

reversegear · 26/02/2026 08:44

HR work for to protect the company, so keep that in mind.

But aside from the managers comments you’ve been off, come back are now off on maternity again soon, taking leave low performing, if you ran the business and needed to make cuts who would you be looking at?

Danikm151 · 26/02/2026 08:45

Make a record of comments made. Log them with HR explaining that you feel your manager’s personal opinion around pregnancy are impacting your role.
You are allowed to take reasonable time off for appointments. You aren’t paid for your non working day so he can’t be expecting the work of 5 days in 4.

sarahd89 · 27/02/2026 12:22

Oh love, this is not on. Jot down exactly what he said and when, then pop into HR for a quiet chat, framing it as wanting to "understand expectations" rather than a complaint. His "wasn't one enough" comment is bang out of order and likely discriminatory. You're not making a fuss, you're looking after yourself and your bump, which is exactly what any good mum would do.

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