My manager says I can't be friends with people I manage or those on a more junior level than me.

[Chefpig]

Is he right?

Yes.

Yes I think he is

Yes

I imagine this isn’t the full story

You have probably taken it too far

Thanks. Is it ok to be friends with those on the same level as me?

I have not.

Well you are hardly the most objective on that point are you

Eh? I am very friendly with some of my team. I manage to be professional and manage everyone impartially Not all workplaces are the same.

And I’m pretty close friends with a couple on my level and my own boss! Still not bothered.

No he's not right.

As Cando6 says, stay professional and manage impartially. I've been friends with a good few of my managers in the past (and hated some too 😂), but either way it was always professional.

If you need to be told then there's probably an issue in the way you conduct yourself.

In your last thread about you starting an office song song and your manager asking you to refrain from barter with junior colleagues, you did admit that I get carried away sometimes and was elated that a break was coming up.

You've already done a very similar thread before.

Are you hoping for different answers this time?

I think friendly is fine, friends is not.

Being "friendly" and "friends" is a different thing surely?

I think you cannot be friends with those you manage.

Ah I was going to say this very much depends on the person and how professional everyone is about it. Ive been very close friends out of work to people ive managed, but I can see theres probably more to the reason why your manager has said this 😬

Yep

I have recent awful experience of this that has has come back to bite me so my take is:

Those on a lower level - friendly, fine. Friend/confidant - no, not fine

Same level - friend/confidant - fine, but be cautious

Hope this helps

You can be friendly and positive with them, but you have to have more distance than with your best friends. A manager needs to be in a position to be able to deal with disciplinary issues, challenge lateness or sloppy behaviour, etc etc and you can't do that to a close friend.

I'm really good friends with someone I used to be manager to, now we have both left the company we worked for and have no professional connection to each other.

OP, you've said in the past

You hate being a manager
You want to step down from management
You're not management material

Have you done anything about it yet?

All the stress and anxiety that this job brings you, surely can't be worth it?

Friends outside work, yes. At work, no. Keep it professional.

And always be wary of someone more senior trying to be your friend. They usually have an agenda, and it will not be for your benefit.

I’m friends with my manager but it is just me and her working together in a building for 45hrs a week so… if we weren’t, it would be tricky!

I manage one of my closest friends (the friendship came before the job). We're both professionals and it doesn't cause any problems.

I did make sure to talk to my other reports 1:1 at the start to say there would be no preferential treatment and anything they said to me in confidence would never be repeated to my friend (and vice versa). They have told me things so it seems to have given the reassurance needed.

I think you can be friends with people at different levels - particular if you were friends before and then one got promoted, but you’ve got to be scrupulously fair and even handed during work hours and not ‘demonstrate’ a more friendly attitude to those you are friends with over others. So no inside jokes, or gossipy sessions in the break room etc.

Not while you manage them, no.

Junior elsewhere in the company, personally yes.

Im good friends now with someone I recruited. We were friendly while I managed her, but the friendship developed after i was no longer in her management structure.