My manager says I can't be friends with people I manage or those on a more junior level than me.

[Chefpig]

Is he right?

I usually have this rule but ended up managing a friend after we were friends. It’s not easy. I wish I didn’t

I haven't. Why would I lie?

Your past thread indicates you probs my did take it too far

as indeed you say you sometimes do get “carried away”

Yes.

I hadn't checked, but that was my suspicion this was the same person too.

My manager in my first management role instilled this into me. At that time (early 2000s) there was a culture of lunch time drinks and after work drinks that turned into evening sessions. He always said you can't manage someone you were dancing on tables with the night before and expect them to take you seriously. I am friendly with people at work but would not describe them as friends. If I left work tomorrow I don't think I'd feel a need to maintain contact with anyone.

Would you be happy taking your friend through a disciplinary? Telling them they aren't getting a pay rise? Declining their flexible work request? Leading them through a redundancy process? Telling them their employment will be terminated?

The number of people who are happy to take on a manager's pay but not happy to do what a manager does (which includes all of the above) is shocking.

People need to watch The Office again. David Brent is the primary example of someone who wants to be a friend before they want to be a manager.

It can be tricky but I’ve always been friends with my immediate boss, not so much his/her boss because they were older and different life stage.
But I did have a close friend who technically be ame my boss (she didn’t tell me what to do or supervise me but was higher up in the rankings) and she basically stopped being my friend during that time, partly because I was so close to her boss (she took his role as he was promoted). But she became my friend again after she was moved off that department and is still my friend 35 years later! As I say it can be tricky! We all started at the same level and if someone advances quicker do you then just drop them? When I started work in the 1980s, work and social life were the same thing!

if you’re all matey matey with people you manage you’ll end up with big issues when one or another expects special treatment (there’s always one), makes a mistake or has performance issues or a tricky personal situation that affects their work .

Rather than focusing on making friends at work focus on being professional. The good connections will come.

I’m very friendly with my team but they also know that my priority is leading the team and supporting them to make their best contribution delivering the work. I treat them with respect and they do the same for me. It’s a hard balance to strike.

I am friends with people I manage and those a few grades below me. I don’t see the problem. There’s obviously a line and need to keep work things professionally, but no-one in my organisation would tell people who they can be friends with.

Yes