Setting boundaries on time when you're senior and expected to work long hours...

[Wonderbug81]

Having looked back at a few posts on here about senior workload, it seems generally accepted that most people have to do at least a few additional hours, if not up to 20 or 30 beyond the contract for some types of roles.

I have a very busy senior role where it's expected that we do extra hours. I usually do about 50-55 hours a week. It could easily be closer to 65 hours to keep on top of workload but I just can't manage that so I accept some things will always be behind. My boss is really happy with my work but would love it if I could do more!

Looking for tips or advice for those of you who do work longer hours but who have managed to put some boundaries in place (with the company/boss/team etc) so it doesn't get out of control!

Thanks

That sounds like a really heavy load to carry, especially when “doing well” just leads to more being added.

One thing I’ve seen help at senior level is shifting the conversation from hours to priorities. For example, asking something like:

“If I can only realistically take on X and Y this week, which would you like me to focus on?”

It puts the decision about trade-offs back where it belongs and makes the workload visible, rather than just quietly absorbing it.

Some people also find it helps to be clear about a stop point rather than a vague boundary — e.g. “I’m offline after 6:30pm unless something is genuinely urgent.” It can feel uncomfortable at first, but it often sets expectations more clearly than trying to just keep up.

I was in a similar position, very busy role with a huge amount of responsibility & lots of extra hours (which I wasn't paid for, it was just 'expected') - one day, I worked out just how many hours I was actually working versus the pay I actually received......& realised I was earning the same rate per hour as the receptionist!

Similar position. Two tips:

Delay responses a little, even if you have completed the work / drafted a reply, don’t press send until the next day. This works best with people who keep you waiting ages for work, but then expect your contribution yesterday.

Be clear on your responsibilities and push back on areas that don’t sit with you, even if you are experienced and know the answer. Of course, be helpful in telling colleagues who to contact, but guard against scope creep.

Can you delegate more? I am rubbish at this (the ‘I can do it faster than I can explain it’ conundrum) but I now have to (and accept that the work may be a lower quality than had I done it but is good enough and, more importantly, done.

You may be able to plan in advance (again, I should do this more!) and pre-delegate things you know are coming.

Thank you, some great food for thought You're right, the more I do, the more I'm expected to do.

There was a lot of discussion around prioritisation from my boss when I began, funnily enough it went away because everything was a priority!

But I will start trying a 'here's my big three things to achieve this week/month' in my 121s with my boss. Plus a 'here's what will need to wait'.

I've found it easier to set expectations when going on hols 'if you need me urgently message my Whatsapp' etc and that does the trick. But the working culture is people are expected to respond to Teams messages late into the evening.

Oh wow, I dread the thought of doing this exercise! What did you end up doing in the end as a result? Trying to work out if I just have to suck it up to an extent or find something with less responsibility.

Not exactly the same situation but I am a teacher and there always seems to be an unlimited amount if work to do that can take over your life if you aren’t careful. I am very direct with my line manager now- ‘I won’t be able to get that completed this week’ for tasks that don’t physically need to be done immediately. It is hard though. My boss works far too much so it’s been trying to get her to recognise we can’t all do that!

Thank you! I'll try more of the delaying responses approach but as I was saying on another reply, the culture is very much 'reply late into the evening'. At some point I guess you have to decide that you're just going to have to ignore the expectation.

We have a new senior team member joining so should be able responsibilities better.

Yes I'm like you, I definitely should be delegating a little more. My own team are a lot better at preserving boundaries and pushing back but this means I pick up their slack too. So therefore more important to set these boundaries!

We get a lot of curveballs from the SLT above my boss so makes planning trickier.

I ended up quitting - I burnt out in the end.
I really do hope you find some way to manage your situation, there's some very useful advice here.

One thing I say to my team when they first step up to senior leadership roles and struggle with this, is that at a certain level of seniority you hit a point where there is no such thing as getting through your to do list.

There will always be more work you could be doing. Let go of the idea that there is any kind of “done” state that equates to “done for the day”. There is just the point at which you have done enough or it’s time to stop for that day.

It really is about prioritising. What can you drop? What can you delegate? What just doesn’t need doing as well or with as much attention?

Obviously sometimes things do just need doing, and doing by a certain time. But it’s worth working hard to make that the exception not the norm. For example: letting it be known that you don’t check Teams out of hours, and that if a response is needed from you urgently they need to text or WhatsApp you (set an OOO to that effect).

OP, I think I may have responded to your other thread before. Glad you're putting boundaries in.

I work compressed hrs, in theory FT hrs but in practice easily over 40hrs across 4 days. Probably 45. If I worked 5 days it would be 50-55 no doubt. Tbh I could keep going and do 65 or more.

I had to get it right in my head that there is always more work to do. It will never stop. You need to stop.

Some problems, if postponed, will resolve themselves. That's great. No doubt they'll be replaced with new ones.

I have a zero inbox rule, only tasks not completed in any given day/week stay in my inbox. I write my to do lists in order of priotity and stick to priorities only, unless the world is suddenly on fire.

The lesser priority tasks get delayed or delegated. I'm working on delegating everything that doesn't desperately need me. Delegating is a big one - you have to do this. You're not paid to do everything by yourself, are you, and it's part of good management anyway.

I've also gone better at giving people a steer they need from me, but not doing the work for them. Let them learn.

I categorically do not reply to texts, messages or emails after 6pm unless it's really necessary. I had to change the meaning of "really necessary" in my own head first.

If I work late, I am offline on Teams so nobody sees me and I delay email delivery to 7am the following day so my team doesn't think they're expected to work my hours or respond immediately.

I am in a role that sometimes requires sending emails immediately even late in the eve because of external deadlines, but hand on heart, this is as rare as it has to be and if it happens it usually means all of us work longer and are online and we know what to expect.

In my experience, there is definitely a way to manage better and it's the responsibility of the managers to lead by example. It is 100% a cultural issue if they don't. It doesn't prevent you from doing the right thing, though.

Value yourself. Your expertise. Your time. Your health. You can't always wash off your hands in a senior role of course. But you're not supposed to be working for peanuts and sacrificing your entire life either.

If you are ignoring evening messages but reply at the start of the next day, and are seen as reliably doing that, perhaps the message will get through.

Really great advice, thank you. Will start looking at my to do list differently!

The challenge really is culture I think (and a perfectionist boss):

Everything is a priority and has to be done to a high standard in her eyes (she is reasonably new and trying to prove herself to her own boss).

The Teams and email culture is one where everyone is messaging and expected to respond late into the night.

And my boss has been known to cancel holidays if she's too busy.

Delegation - I have a team who are better at working their hours but also need a lot of mentoring to develop.

Ultimately I guess I just have to accept I might 'disappoint' and be OK with it if I'm going to try and keep my sanity.

How senior, what kind of salary?

I class myself as fairly senior (£65k salary) and when I started my current job I just didn't do the extra. No replying to late Teams messages, switch laptop off at 5.30 and back on again the next morning.

The more you do, the more will be piled onto you.

This! A workaholic boss who expects everyone to be the same.

I think I just have to be less of a people pleaser too and recognise I'm doing plenty.

This is a great, constructive thread.

I think it’s worth really paying attention to how we take cues from the people above us, and that sets the tone for the people we manage. I have reframed my boundaries not as me saying no to my boss, but as me being a good boss (ie showing that you can be a hands on parent and in a senior role). Always delaying send on emails when working late, and not responding to late night messages that didn’t need a quick reply, are tips I’ll take into next week.

I just refuse to do more than my contracted hours for anything other than a genuine emergency.

The more you do, the more people will try and push onto you. Yeah I could do a couple of 60 hour weeks and clear my workload a bit, but then when the CEO tried to chuck something else my way, I wouldn't be able to say "I've still got this this and this on my plate, so what do you want deprioritised?"

I generally fine that people are surprised when I first start a new job, and it takes a while for them to get the message, but once they do then they treat it as normal. It doesn't seem to have affected my progression all that much.

This. I know so many people who seem to take pride in working constantly, and I did the sums on their salaries once and realised they were earning less per hour than I was - and I earn above the National average! Not to mention all it seems to lead to is lifestyle creep and lack of time to actually enjoy the fruits of their labour. It’s really not worth it OP. My dad worked his arse off his whole life (literally 7 days a week), and kept saying everything would change once he retired. He died two years into his retirement. It’s not worth it.

husband was like this pre kids!

now we have zero help just us - kids must be picked up at 6 (we have 2 in Diff locations) so we both have a deadline pick up at 6 daily!

he simply can’t stay late anymore so he just stopped being available after 5.30. They all just got used to it - and nothing was ever said about it 🤷‍♀️

i think if you are responding and staying late etc - then it will just be assumed you are around.

rarely if there is something super important or a deadline we both would log on again around 8 after kids in bed to finish things (but I’d never ever respond to an email late or go on chats late as don’t want anyone to assume i do this kind of thing.

i hope you get sorted op :)

I would challenge the concept that becoming more senior means doing more work or working more hours. That might be common, but it’s not correct.
If you are in a leadership role you should be leading, working strategically to lead your team and their work, rather than doing a lot of the hands-on work yourself.
I quite often hear “my team don’t have enough time so I do this myself on top of my own work”, or “my team are not experienced enough so I do this myself on top of my own work”, or “it’s just quicker if I do this myself”. These are all taking the wrong approach.
You are not a parent who needs to make your children’s life easier. You are a leader in the workplace. Look at ways to delegate and distribute the workload differently. Look at the hours and boundaries for the whole team, including you.

With evening teams messages you need to do things away from your phone. Or even pretend you are. “I didn’t see that message I was at swimming” or similar. Do it enough and people will stop expecting it. I learned that when I was at home with small children on a Friday one response to an “urgent” thing opened the flood gates and set an expectation of responses. I took my babies/toddlers swimming so genuinely couldn’t respond but could have just pretended.

I haven’t read all the replies but I am a manager of a department and watched the previous manager take on so much she had a total burnout and ended up really ill. She was in a position to retire early so left.

When I interviewed for the job (I was the assistant manager at the time) I made it clear - the job is advertised for 37 hours a week. So you will get 37 hours of my finest work each week. I will not be having emails or teams on my phone. I will not respond to something ‘urgent’ that you’ve sat on for two weeks and forgot about.
If you want more out of me you pay me for it. I work to live, not live to work.
I got the job and I’ve stuck to that - the senior managers did try to push it a few times and they got a simple ‘I’ll add it to my list’.
I don’t like being so rigid but after watching my old manager have the absolute P taken out of her I decided boundaries had to be in place if I was offered the job

My best advice is to delegate work where you can, prioritise your projects/work list and simply be firmer with when you switch off. Also don’t over promise unrealistic turnarounds - this could be most of your issue and trust me as a chronic “everyone’s work is due this week, so must all be done this week” you say once that you’ll have it to them next week and they say “perfect, thanks”. It will have you regretting getting everything back to everyone so quickly - they won’t offer to wait but they don’t expect a rush!

You don’t NEED to follow your new bosses culture, however hard that might be. If you have weekly 121s run through your priority work list with them and be realistic what you can finish that week and what can wait until next.

You mention that your team needs mentorship, but is that truly the case or can you not let go? There will be some more experienced than others - get them to support each other and refer back to guides or training, not just ask you because it’s easier. Even best of both - have 121s with them each week and ask them to keep questions to then. You’ll be shocked how much work they “can’t do” that they suddenly work out themselves if they have to wait a few days.

Final thought - a true “leadership” role is Board or Head of Dept. So in Leadership there’s maybe you> Director at top or you> C-Suite. I think it’s worth noting from your comment that you have a Boss, who then has a Boss (SLT) - so your boss is leadership. Most organisations I’ve been in (large and small) your 3rd row from SLT makes you middle management/team leader role. This isn’t a criticism, it’s just highlighting to you that your role tends to be squeezed the most at a company. This is because you’re semi-senior for large work and team leadership, but without the authority to always say no to requests from above or question why you’re even doing that work. I report into C-level as a head of dept and can absolutely say - this isn’t an immediate priority. One for next month. Even to my CFO, CRO etc. It’s unfair for you to compare your role, as from what you’ve described, your new boss it the one that should be saying “next month/no” and isn’t. Such a shame!

Your team are looking at you to set an example - try to work your hours unless it’s a peak time or emergency at the business. Work through your weekly to do list with your Boss and if extra work comes in, assess and communicate what you’ll push back to next week.

Change isn’t easy, but you’ll be shocked how open your stakeholders and team are to it! Best of luck

@Wonderbug81 you say there’s an expectation that Teams messages / emails are responded to.

What would happen if you didn’t respond?

Turn Teams notifications off and put your phone somewhere else.

If you are working late change your Teams status so no one can see you’re online.

I have a work phone and a personal phone and whilst I might check my work emails after I finish I rarely reply until the next day even to meeting invites.

I generally work more than my hours and rarely have a lunch hour but I’ve put in place certain boundaries and I stick to them otherwise I’d never stop.