Tips on surviving job that makes you feel depressed

[ASDnocareer]

Brought to tears yet again because of work, already dreading it tomorrow.

I know there is no perfect job and most will have to compromise on something.

However the only positive I can think of is that my job keeps me in full time work, and I need the income to survive.
My job is low skilled, low paid, lacking career prospects and has very toxic micromanaging.

Every so often my work situation will really get me down to the point I genuinely think what even is the point of life, what do I have to look forward to, it’s this constant loop of dreading work.

I’ve already spent years looking and applying for a new job, got a degree, joined internal network groups, paid for someone to review my CV, none of it ever worked because I only have ‘low skilled’ experience. The more years that pass me by in this job, the more hope I lose and I worry I may never land a better job. I should feel lucky I have an income at least?

Has anyone else been stuck in a toxic job and have any tips on how to cope?

(Please do not advise me to leave the job because it’s not an option for me financially)

First, I'm so sorry you're stuck in a job that's driving you to tears. In January this year, I was having a bad time in my previous job. Since then, I've got another role with a different organisation.

The only advice I can think of is to make sure to be kind to yourself in your own time. If you can find the energy/spoons, try to get involved in a class or volunteering opportunity of some sort. Not something higher level or even related to your job, but that's going to give you the positive, constructive experiences you aren't getting in the nine to five.

I messed up a painfully large number of interviews in 2024 because I was using my then-job for most of the material, and the misery and bitterness couldn't be hidden. Before my successful interview, I thought of the best aspects of some previous jobs, where I'd been involved in stuff that felt genuinely worthwhile, even though I wasn't leading or coordinating anything. And I took examples from that, and from some evening classes I'd been doing, and not from the job that broke my heart had been making my life difficult.

Otherwise try to detach a bit from work, if you can. Do it conscientiously because it's your job, but also sort of handle it with kid gloves, like a snake that may bite, rather than looking at it like a fake friend that you know is going to let you down and bully you when you're low. Not describing that too well!

But yes: be kind to yourself. Take pride what you do outside of work. Enjoy the little things.

Thank you so much, and so good to hear things worked out 😊

Hello @ASDnocareer
I’m in a similar boat and just wanted to reach out and let you know you’re not alone
How was work today?

Only a few weeks ago, I was sobbing in the toilet at work.

I am very familiar with the feeling of toxic micro management and a hostile working environment and am amazed how some people get into management positions with such poor people skills.

Here are a few things I do to cope:

• I mentally split the working week in half, so that rather than just looking forward to the weekend, I set aside Wednesday evening for something that I enjoy and is going to boost my well-being. So, for instance, I plan a long "home spa" , do some simple exercise, go to bed early with a good book. Of course I know it's not Friday but at least I am giving my body and mind a rest and I know that it's half-way through the week.

• Then, I start to look forward to the weekend and plan some fun things to do each day, whatever you enjoy, so for me, recently I've been trying new dishes and new flavours, buying a nice dessert etc.

• Talking things over with a like-minded colleague over lunch can help if you are fortunate to have one. Then, go home and leave work at work... although this is easier said than done.

These are very small things in the grand scheme of things but they are helping a little bit. It is always forefront of my mind though.

Following for tips. I have a love hate relationship with mine. It just tips towards love or I would be out (I made a promise to myself) although I would say day to day it can feel really bloody hard.

I've got into a terrible rut of shame where I'm spending spare time playing solitaire to switch off, eating shite, and thinking about work all weekend. I've got some time off coming up so I'm bookmarking for tips I can implement.

I really like the idea of splitting the week into two and giving myself Wednesday evening as a gift to myself.

Doing some weights, home spa, watching a movie and having an early night sounds like a great plan.

I take setraline to numb everything. Take a week off sick and apply for other roles. Do alot of volunteering it is so lovely compared to my job.

If your current job is low skill/low paid, couldn't you at least jump to another low skill/low paid job in a less toxic environment? Might not give you the ideal career progression that you want but at least you'd be less miserable?

I haven’t been able to find another job even at a ‘side step’ - this is what makes me feel soo depressed and trapped. My toxic management get away with so much as they know I have no other prospects or escape.

I recently applied for an internal role with a pay cut but was still rejected at first stage.

There were 3 other vacancies to do the same level of role as mine but at a different office location. According to management over 1000 applicants were received.

Another recent rejection email I received from an external recruiter said “There was a significant amount of interest in this role (over 1000 applications) so please do not be disheartened.“ It was not an easy apply LinkedIn job either, and not a prestigious company

I can work from home, so what helps there is walking round muttering "you're all wankers" to myself. Before I switch my zoom face back on.

Hi @mechanicalpencil thank you so much for sharing! I was inspired by you today and enjoyed home made pizza as it’s Wednesday eve and made it over half way through

💐to all struggling in toxic jobs, I’m sorry to hear you guys are experiencing similar but admire your strength

Excellent!! I’m so pleased to hear that @ASDnocareer You’re half way through! 🤩💪✨And Home made pizza sounds absolutely fab!!! It’s been a while since I did that so may just go and put that on my weekend treat list!

I find myself looking forward to these small treats throughout the week and enjoy the “challenge” of finding something new each time.

Good Luck!

Joining the thread as I’m so sick of my dead end job but struggling to find anything else that fits around my childcare commitments. Every day I spend there feels like I’m wasting my time and I wish I could just leave but I need another job first!

No tips I am afraid. I tried mindfulness, thinking it is just a job, not taking it personally. Nothing worked l, I ended with burnout and having to take time off, quit my job; and fortunately found another with a smaller company and hopefully less stress, politics and corporate sxxx

What about applying for jobs that have a shortage of staff, like care work, such as in a care home. You might be able to develop a career there and work your way up. Even childcare, some councils now offer apprenticeships and train you up. There are some interesting careers from starting in childcare, such as family support worker, play therapist, working in policy, operational management

And do you work in the private sector? Have you tried customer service jobs in the public sector?

if you have a low paid job and are willing to take a pay cut there must be options for you, in different areas.

You may also be able to get on an employment scheme for people who are underemployed. There was one where I lived for a while and they took on people like you who felt trapped in dead end jobs and looked at how to get them into other work. Try asking at your council. These employment projects are all short term funded and constantly changing their criteria, but it’s worth asking.

Is there anything you could do as a bit of a side hustle, not so much for the money but to get some experience and new skills ? Good luck, the job market is so so difficult at the moment.