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Original poster

CEO’s PA making life a misery for me

27 replies

Zoooo · 26/10/2025 17:23

I’ve been in my new role for about 6 months now and it’s taken me this long to realise that the CEO’s PA is lying about me to my boss (the CEO) and causing major issues for me. He does not work in the same office as me (but she does).

As an example, I need to change a policy on something so needed to book a meeting with him which I have to do with her and she asked me why, I told her (so she can put the meeting in his diary which she did for Wednesday) and she has run to him to tell him I am changing a policy for the worse. It is absolutely none of her business to tell him my plans before I’ve spoken to him.

He raised this with me and had a go at me for changing something without speaking to him. I said err I haven’t, that’s what the meeting is for on Wednesday and he went bright red and I said ‘oh your PA has said this has she’ and he sort of mumbled something and then said other people had also raised it, so I said who (as I had gathered opinions on this policy) so he mentioned one other senior executive who loves whining - so I said yes I’m gathering opinions but nothing has changed and wasn’t going to until I spoke to you.

I’m a v senior executive and I feel like I’m back in the playground. I’m in my 50s and tbh I have never not wanted to go to work as much as I do now. He is absolutely the problem here as he is encouraging this behaviour and she is absolutely lapping it up. I saw her call him aside and bitch and moan about me for an hour the other day (I can lip read as I have hearing difficulties - she doesn’t know that). He also complained about me to one of the junior employees in my team (who immediately told me) about me changing this policy without speaking to him when I hadn’t but he had decided to believe his PA (this was before he spoke to me).

I think my only option is to find another role? All I can do is be professional but I’m finding it v hard to stay sane!

OP posts:

TimetodoEverything · 26/10/2025 17:31

Do you like your job other than this? Do you think he has the capacity to see sense?

Original poster

Zoooo · 26/10/2025 17:34

I like my job and I’ve got a great team but I’m not sure he will see sense. They also totally missold the role and it’s far worse than they let on so there’s a lot stacked against it!

OP posts:

Original poster

Zoooo · 26/10/2025 17:35

He’s bright but he’s impulsive and will believe the first thing he’s told without checking. He also gossips about everyone and slags others off (which I hate and will mean he’s doing the same about me to others).

OP posts:

AgualusasL0ver · 26/10/2025 17:42

To be fair, my job as an EA/PA is to be all over everything - a strategic arm, eyes and ears, thought partner etc.

Sounds like this is more a CEO problem. Aren’t there SLT meetings where things like your suggestion/policy change would be on the agenda and then separate meetings to make them happen?

anyway, that isn’t you AIBu, it doesn’t sound like this is the place for you. Depending on how easy it is to cut your losses, I would be considering this.

ItsOnlyHobnobs · 26/10/2025 17:49

I think it’s easy for some people to underestimate the power and significant role an EA/PA has within an organisation.

She is a key working relationship, if she doesn’t seem to rate you or gel with you, then you’re going to be on the back foot.

Every organisation will have its own culture and politics. It’s fair enough to not get on board with some workplace cultures, and understand you never will and move on.

You need to ask yourself if you can see yourself fitting in with their politics, and playing the game. There isn’t really a right/wrong, just how you feel about it.

Branster · 26/10/2025 17:52

Zoooo · 26/10/2025 17:35

Is your CEO Donald Trump???
I would be looking for a difficult job. It sounds like the PA will be forever gossiping about him. And the CEO sounds very unprofessional.

strawgoh · 26/10/2025 17:54

"Hi there PA, could you book a meeting for me with Big Boss next week please?"

"Yes, what is the meeting for?"

"Oh - it is a confidential matter actually, on a need-to-know basis. I will discuss it with him when I see him."

AgualusasL0ver · 26/10/2025 18:08

strawgoh · 26/10/2025 17:54

"Hi there PA, could you book a meeting for me with Big Boss next week please?"

"Yes, what is the meeting for?"

"Oh - it is a confidential matter actually, on a need-to-know basis. I will discuss it with him when I see him."

Very rare for this. Most assistants have access to inbox and certainly 1:1s with CEO would entail sharing of confidential projects etc to ensure the right priorities get the right time.

The gossipy nature of this particular pairing and that you haven’t gelled with either seem like it’s a mismatch and moving on is best.

DarkRootsBlue · 27/10/2025 06:41

strawgoh · 26/10/2025 17:54

"Hi there PA, could you book a meeting for me with Big Boss next week please?"

"Yes, what is the meeting for?"

"Oh - it is a confidential matter actually, on a need-to-know basis. I will discuss it with him when I see him."

That would maybe work once. As a PA I’d give the benefit of the doubt one time to this, but ongoing I’d be ensuring I knew what the meeting was for before it went in the diary.

I think you’re best off leaving OP, it doesn’t sound a great situation for you and you have no respect (rightly or not) for the CEO or his PA.

HermioneWeasley · 27/10/2025 06:44

This is a CEO problem and it sounds like they weren’t honest about the role. I’d be looking for something else

QuirkyHorse · 27/10/2025 06:57

I feel your pain OP.
I have unfortunately worked with a PA who thought the company couldn't survive without her 🙄

The CEO was such a busy guy he couldn't see what was happening right under his nose.
To cut a long story short, she was moved out of post and eventually left when she realised she wasn't the queen bee she thought she was.
It was a happy day in the office that day 😃
An absolute odious, gossipy parrot who deserved everything that came her way.

The next PA was far more understanding of her role and was universally liked.

Almost2026 · 27/10/2025 07:08

This sounds like a bigger issue then the PA from your updates. Role missold, CEO gossiping, CEO & PA seemingly dislike you.

As much as you feel this is a PA problem, it’s literally part of her job to be the eyes and ears of the office he’s not in. If she has raised it with him, I suspect others have quietly raised it with her that you have been gathering opinions and they are not overly happy and but may not be comfortable telling you directly.

As for the post with confidential matter, you may get one chance at that, to which I’d follow up with the CEO and find out if he also judged it to be worthy of not sharing with me and if it wasn’t then you wouldn’t get in his diary again. People forget that we see their inbox, we have regular 1:1s, we proof read their meeting decks. There is very little happening we are not aware of.

EleanorReally · 27/10/2025 07:10

i would have thought an email in advance would have been better,
i would like a meeting to discuss the following

verycloakanddaggers · 27/10/2025 07:13

Zoooo · 26/10/2025 17:35

You've chosen to blame the PA, but the issue is the CEO.
Why are you blaming her rather than him?

Either way, you need to find another job. Whether you leave then look or look then leave is a judgement call only you can make.

AmethystAnnotation · 27/10/2025 07:20

strawgoh · 26/10/2025 17:54

"Hi there PA, could you book a meeting for me with Big Boss next week please?"

"Yes, what is the meeting for?"

"Oh - it is a confidential matter actually, on a need-to-know basis. I will discuss it with him when I see him."

In my experience, most CEOs won't accept the meeting unless they know what it's about, usually with a proper agenda.

Original poster

Zoooo · 27/10/2025 07:35

@QuirkyHorsethat’s exactly what it is. She went on long leave a month after I started and we had a replacement and it was an absolute joy. Everyone got on, there was no hysteria and all the other execs said what a relief it was. A week after she got back and it was all back to her usual ways. She stirs up the office to such an extent that 2 other execs have already formally complained but of course nothing will happen.

OP posts:

Cordeliasdemonbabies · 27/10/2025 08:21

She sounds dreadful but if the CEO won't deal with it, then you are shit out of luck. Best thing would be to move on before the toxic environment damages your mental health.

strawgoh · 27/10/2025 14:47

DarkRootsBlue · 27/10/2025 06:41

That would maybe work once. As a PA I’d give the benefit of the doubt one time to this, but ongoing I’d be ensuring I knew what the meeting was for before it went in the diary.

I think you’re best off leaving OP, it doesn’t sound a great situation for you and you have no respect (rightly or not) for the CEO or his PA.

Show quote history

Ah, but would you want to know the purpose of the meeting specifically so you could slag the person off to your boss beforehand? No.

But unfortunately, that is what this PA is doing to the OP. She is using the advance information as ammunition with which to mount an attack.

strawgoh · 27/10/2025 14:48

AmethystAnnotation · 27/10/2025 07:20

In my experience, most CEOs won't accept the meeting unless they know what it's about, usually with a proper agenda.

Show quote history

Most CEOs don't have a shit-stirring troublemaker for a PA.

Guildford321 · 27/10/2025 14:52

strawgoh · 26/10/2025 17:54

"Hi there PA, could you book a meeting for me with Big Boss next week please?"

"Yes, what is the meeting for?"

"Oh - it is a confidential matter actually, on a need-to-know basis. I will discuss it with him when I see him."

This. You're a senior executive, so you're smart and should be used to bullshit. Don't leave because of her. Be tough and put her in her place. Don't get embroiled in nonsense like this.

Namechange822 · 27/10/2025 16:26

I’m in a senior role. I’d begin cc-ing him into the emails to the PA to ask for meetings etc. If he raises it I’d say “I thought that would avoid the miscommunications which happened last time”.

Next time she causes a significant issue with someone else, I’d recommend he looks for a new PA.

AlphaApple · 27/10/2025 16:31

The problem is the CEO, not the PA. He's not managing his staff properly and behaving unprofessionally. Leave if you can. It's very, very hard to change that dynamic.

Almost2026 · 27/10/2025 18:42

Guildford321 · 27/10/2025 14:52

This. You're a senior executive, so you're smart and should be used to bullshit. Don't leave because of her. Be tough and put her in her place. Don't get embroiled in nonsense like this.

Show quote history

This is only the OPs version, I’d be interested to hear the other side.

DarkRootsBlue · 27/10/2025 19:14

@strawgohyou’ve missed the point. If someone kept refusing to say what the meeting was about, it wouldn’t be going in the diary.

Christmasnewyear · 28/10/2025 19:08

Really don’t want to sound unkind. I am
also Senior. However, none seems to have asked op @Zoooo if perhaps op shared too much with pa (in the hope of being chatty with pa). I cannot see how ‘I want to discuss plans to change. a policy’ got changed to ‘she has changed the policy for worse’.

i see you are a senior exec- but who wanted the policy changed? Who sanctioned it? Just yourself? As I said, it might be me.

CEO mishandled it, but even if this pa is over the top, she is the eyes and ears of the CEO, which you have to live with or move.

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