Too ill to prep for/attend interview

[OhFeckWhatNow]

Background: have only worked in crappy min wage type jobs, had a decade out of work due to poor MH/undiagnosed autism. Got degree in this time, graduated 4 years ago. Have worked since but only in basic jobs again as I figured then I could get references for better job.

Incredibly, a civil service job that I am v suited to came up, I have passed the online tests and initial pre recorded online interview. This job would be such a huge step up and a chance for me to finally have a career and work somewhere I can manage (not mad hours etc).

I'm also 6 weeks pregnant (first time, too old to consider alternatives). I am feeling so rough. So exhausted, sleeping 10 hrs a night (with weird nightmares) but so tired during the day I have to keep lying down between everything I do (eg. have breakfast, shower, need lie down). I feel constantly queasy, and mentally just so bleak. (Theoretically overjoyed at being pregnant but not feeling it at all atm).

I'm supposed to have an interview tomorrow but haven't been able to prepare due to tbe above. Kept thinking I'd feel better after a nap or a good night's sleep, but obviously haven't (I've never known exhaustion like this except with covid). Struggling to concentrate on anything and keep crying. Also almost constantly queasy.

Is there anything I can do? Would I be able to delay the interview? Because it involved doing a presentation so to be fair they only release the info you'll need 7 days before interview. So it would be unfair to give me more time.

I can't think straight and just feel so devastated because it felt like I finally had a chance at a decent job. Feel like I'm letting myself and everyone else down. I'm so worried but also feel like I just want everything to go away and sleep forever.

(Fwiw in case this strays into wider advice - I'm single.)

had a decade out of work due to poor MH/undiagnosed autism.

mentally just so bleak

So I thought that would lessen the risk. I'm finding it so odd that I feel so odd mentally - I'm normally (nowadays) someone who can feel quiet joy and peace just admiring a nice coloured leaf or something.

Op that is why some of us are concerned

You midwife will have access to your records, so be completely transparent with her op and will likely get extra support

But I have explained how I recovered from that. A long, in depth recovery, not just randomly feeling better. And it was trauma based, not an illness that might spring up now and then.

It wouldn't have taken a decade if services had helped me when I first asked, instead of compounding the problem in various ways.

I will do, but what is "support"? What do they actually do?

Just rest up op
all the best

Ask for access to perinatal mental health services. if you are on your own, particularly with little family or friends support, you might benefit from talking to them and local antenatal groups. Typically you would wait until 6+ months pg to meet other expectant mums at groups so the meantime could be pretty lonely.

What happened, OP? Did you have the interview (sorry if you already said and I missed it)?

I have been able to postpone it.

@OhFeckWhatNow can I ask if your job interview is for HMRC?

I can understand why you're finding this thread unsetting, op, I think I would too.

People are just worried about you.

You've done remarkably well to pull yourself out of such a hole in terms of your mental health and it sounds like you've put in healthy habits to protect your mental health, which is no small thing - I think most people don't realise how important those habits are, or implement them consistently, until they go through a period of poor health.

Unlike some others, I think you should go for the job. Ordinarily, I'd say its cheeky and unfair to apply for one when you know you'll have upcoming maternity leave, but you need to build some employment security and you deserve it too. You also deserve a good & fulfilling job and I think this would be good for you.

Obviously, you should be upfront about your pregnancy at the appropriate time.

Even if you don't get the job, applying is excellent experience and if you perform well & honestly then they may remember you for future opportunities- I've known this happen more than once.

I also think you should be open with your friends about how you're feeling right now. Its perfectly OK, with no expectation of them coming to cook you dinner, to tell then you wish you had someone to look after you a bit right now. Anyone would feel the same in your shoes. And you never know, they might find ways to help you haven't considered.

Make your life as easy as possible right now. If that means ordering a takeaway or having your groceries deliverood to your door, then do so.

And please do reach put to your gp for an urgent an appointment. Now is the time to line up your backup and support - even if its imperfect.

(And please, if you do feel you get to a crisis, call 999.)

If it requires security checks then that sounds about right. Lengthy backlogs from what I've heard.

Can certainly take three months for onboarding checks and the recruitment process itself tends not to be quick.

Has it been rescheduled?

OP, I think people on MN can jump to conclusions based on very limited information. I’m sorry people’s replies have upset you (they would have upset me too) and am glad to read you’ve rescheduled the interview.

In case it helps, I also had MH issues before falling pregnant, bad enough that it stopped me working for a while. After the first trimester (which I found exhausting and like having a constant hangover) I actually felt much better during pregnancy than beforehand. Everyone’s experience is different, so ignore those on here who are suggesting you won’t be up to starting a new role. I don’t think it’s a reason not to go for it.

Good luck with the interview - I hope it all works out 🙂🤞🏻

This. We would delay in the same week but if successful the job would be high pressured and busy so make sure you know what is expected before you ask to delay. Every time I've granted a delay the person has never actually gone through with the rearranged interview

NHS quite usual 4-6 months to get into post.

Out of interest, did the donor banks look in to your medical mental health history?

It really doesn't sound as if this is the best time to start a brand new more demanding job. You'll hardly have started and then will go on leave. And will you even have worked long enough to qualify for the civil service maternity pay. The timing is not good.

OP, how are you managing financially? Are you currently employed? The thing is, if you’re already 6 weeks pregnant, have postponed the interview so will likely be 7+ weeks pregnant at your next interview, if you’re successful by the time you receive a contract you’re likely well past the dates to qualify for SMP. You say that your MH is fine now, yet your initial post focused on it a lot. You say youv’e addressed the cause of your MH illness but it seems that you fail to grasp that MH illnesses caused by trauma don’t magically disappear. They can reappear any time, for myriad reasons - pregnancy being a high risk one. Honestly, if you were my friend and were asking for my advice having found yourself pregnant it would be to stay in the job you currently have, then once the baby arrives and you get a feel for being a parent, reapply.

Good luck OP, I hope you are successful. The CS recruitment checks can take a long time. One young person I knew through a volunteering role had difficulty with the CS ID checks because he didn't have a passport. He supplied the alternative documents that the CS listed as acceptable alternatives but the process was still delayed for months! (Obviously I only have his version of events and reasons for delay).