Son & Work Suspension - Help!!

[LilacReader]

Hi, first time poster so please be kind - but straight talking!
My son (22) works in care. Loves the job and the clients at the home so much so that if I ever pick him up he's always late leaving as he goes to do a last minute checks on a couple of his favourites especially if they are on end-of-life care.
Care home policy is of course no phones in the home, a rule he always (usually) sticks to. Apart from this ruddy time!! He grabbed his phone on his break to catch up with girlfriend and then decided to visit his EOL patient and sit with her for a bit. Of course, he did the bloody stupid thing of calling GF whilst he was sitting with patient. Team Leader of course walks in and the rest as they say is history.
I have issues with the fact that my son has mentioned a few times that this same Team Leader is seen walking around with his ear pods in (so obviously has phone) and he has received a video once from another colleague, which he told them he didn't like and didn't want to receive again. Others also use their phones on the wards and nothing has ever been done about them. Unfortunately, at no time has he ever reported this, just tried to stay away from it all.
He's aware the TL doesn't like him and probably because of his slight Aspergers, doesn't really socialise well so doesn't have many 'friends' there.
He's been put on suspension whilst they investigate but I don't know what (if anything) I can do to help? I don't think it's looking good, if the TL doesn't like him then no-one is going to stick up for him.
I'm annoyed as he's bloody brilliant with the clients and the thing that's upsetting him the most is that he won't be there for the clients and will probably miss the passing of his client. Any advice - please?

I think this is going to come down to the black and white of the policy to be honest. It's a very good rule to have in care homes so as to avoid exploitation of residents online etc. Best outcome would be a written warning as a first offence, but without knowing his employer and how hard they come down on this type of thing, then it's hard to predict how things will go. Regardless of his relationship with the Team Leader, rules are there to be followed, in particular in places where resident safety is paramount. It's a hard lesson to learn, but not one that your son can't bounce back from. If he's found his calling them hopefully, if it comes to it, he can find another position in another care home (most places are desperate for care workers after all) and this time around he just needs to follow the rules to the letter. I hope that things work out ok for him.

I'm surprised as good carers are so hard to recruit and keep and this does seem a bit harsh.

How long has your son been in the job?

Thank you x

Around 2+ years. Is never off sick and is so caring that he's usually really upset when one of his favourite passes.

What the others do is irrelevant and can't be proven in such a small setting, is the tl a registered professional, is there a manager. Is it a private home or nhs. I've seen carers on their phones when they're with clients, the registered manager did f all. I'd look for another job, the tl could gave just asked him to put his phone away instead of reporting it, if several staff do it then it could gave been bought up in a staff meeting, that's what I'd do instead of singling one person out, it might be a good idea if he stopped working over his hours, staff don't appreciate it and he needs to end his shift and go home.

Couldn't agree more with with the others being irrelevant and I've tried to drum that into my son as much as I can. He doesn't work over his hours - it's literally just a pop in after he finishes to say goodnight. It's a private home.

I just don't know how he should play it. Just wait around until they make a decision or get him to write a letter as I'm not sure how articulate he was during the initial conversation, as I mentioned, he's a bit socially awkward.

Could you contact ACAS?

If he has a previously unblemished record, and his good work is evident, and it's demonstrable that he goes above & beyond, as he does, then he might get off with a warning? Is there someone on staff who knows his work & could advocate for him?

Caveat: I am not a lawyer ...

He sounds like just the sort of care worker we desperately need.

HR Director here. He will be fine. He’s over 2 years service so is protected against immediate dismissal. He will be issued with a warning at the hearing. He should take the opportunity to raise that whilst he accepts he made a mistake, the employer should ensure fairness across the board, and everyone should be held to the same standard. Flagging this would be wise - because if they did try and dismiss him for the offence, there’s clearly discrimination by way of one rule for him and one for others.

After this, he can either keep his head down and move on, or he can Appeal the warning. The latter will be annoying for everyone, but would be on the basis of different rules for different people. He would need to evidence this by way of a statement calling out the senior person with the AirPods, so could cause damage to the relationship.

Best to wait for the outcome before deciding next steps.

I just read your comment about him being inarticulate in person. The best thing to do is to write him a statement to read in his hearing. That way he cannot go off piste. They will basically say “Why did this happen?” and his response will be considered before issuing any warning.

If you’re son was on a break at the time
and in the room in the capacity of a visitor as opposed to being on duty I think it’s harsh. If the family of the resident knew I’m sure they would support your son as he was going above and beyond. The family obviously have a lot going on with their family member being so ill so not suggesting you contact them, I just know if I was the family I’d be upset to hear that outcome for your son.

Thank you so so much for this. Yourself and everyone has been so kind and helpful at the moment - I will show him your messages. x

You can't have "slight aspergers".

He broke the rules and they are following procedure.

There had to be one.
OK, apologies everyone - he was tested for Aspergers but was on the cusp so I didn't get any help but they said on the scale he wasn't 'neuro typical' either.

Is he on full pay whilst suspended, it seems pretty over the top to have an investigation, he just needs to admit it, apologise and not do it again. Has he been invited to any meeting and told why he was suspended, make sure they follow the correct procedure, its in the acas website. Hope it works out OK

Yes, on full pay. When it was first mentioned (before suspension) he apologised straight away and admitted it happened but then the following day (his day off) they called and advised of the suspension.

The facts as stated do not stand up to scrutiny. No responsible carer goes to see a resident on EOL and then calls his girlfriend while sitting in the room. It looks to an outsider as though he is using the excuse of sitting with an EOL resident to give him the opportunity to phone his girlfriend in a place he is unlikely to be disturbed.
Your DS as a carer should not have 'favourites'. He should treat all residents with equal care and respect.
There is a shortage of experienced care staff so even if his employment is terminated (which would be harsh) he should be able to find another job quickly.

It doesn't matter of others are breaking rules. He got caught he will hace to look at the disciplinary policy, take union advice and follow that

Thank you for scrutinizing - I mentioned my son was on a break so could have gone anywhere to avoid being disturbed. Of course you have favourites - I did when I was childminding. That does not mean we care for them any differently just that they have taken a little bit of our heart.

But I thank you for your input x

You say he usually but not always sticks to the no phone rule so he knew it was wrong, it's disrespectful to the client to be on the phone to his gf, why didn't he wait till he was on a break off the floor. He shouldnt have gone to sit with the client on his break, why did he need to catch up with his gf., were they talking or texting. .if the rule is no phones are there lockers to put them in.

I disagree that what others are doing is irrelevant and a poor excuse. When you are new/inexperienced in a workplace you take your cue from what other more experienced employees or those above you in the hierarchy do. They should set an example of professional behaviour. When you see these people breaking the rules with impugnity then its tempting to follow their example. If the manager was doing their job properly they would deal with the rule breaking at all levels and tell the more senior people that they should be setting a better example. Picking on a newish employee is lazy management.

Been there, done it, and argued back.

Yes, as I said at the beginning, I completely agree with you.

I'm not after an argument but advice. I said he usually does except for this one time. He took his phone out to call GF and then thought to go check on the client. Yes, he should have waited, I've told him this. There is nothing you have written that I haven't either already said at the start or to him since.
It is advice from where to go from here, not to look back and judge.

We have a rule of no phones whilst on shift. However I am aware that some staff do have phones in pockets because they may have forgotten or they may be waiting for a call.
However, I would like to think that a carer (me included as I work many shifts as a carer) would never take a call in a residents room with a resident present. With resident on EOL is particularly disrespectful.

I would also conduct a full investigation and (without knowing full facts) would probably end up with written warning, but I could imagine it could end up gross misconduct.

What is key is what the disciplinary process is.

If your son has more than 2 years service with good performance to date, I think a written statement about how it was a temporary lapse of judgement and he is mortified etc etc would go a long way.

Sorry to hear this as our jobs are hard at the best of times and I hate the thought of someone leaving the profession if they love care.

That being said it was a huge error of judgement on his part to make the call. I hope he keeps his job and learns from this mistake.

He grabbed his phone on his break to catch up with girlfriend and then decided to visit his EOL patient and sit with her for a bit. Of course, he did the bloody stupid thing of calling GF whilst he was sitting with patient.

He might have been on a break but he shouldn't have made a call to his GF while with an patient, especially one on EOL care, for a number of reasons.

He needs to acknowledge this and fully apologise. He does sound caring but trying to get out of this by pointing out others use their phones won't work.

I agree with everything you've said. A complete error in judgement - not making excuses for him, a rule is a rule but I can see him almost seeing her as a friend and not thinking of what he was doing. Completely and utterly wrong on his part and believe me, I've really drummed into him that it shouldn't be done.

Someone else mentioned a Statement earlier and I think we are going to do this this evening. I'm wondering if it would be OK to request an immediate meeting between my son, myself and HR before they make a final decision? I really don't want to rock the boat though?! Any thoughts?

Apologies, I completely missed your message earlier.
I'm kind of coming in from both angles - I've told him it doesn't matter what others are doing, he needs to be clean.
But yes, I also don't want him treated differently to everyone else and pulled up and possibly sacked for what everyone else is doing.