Suddenly being accused of not doing my job properly by colleges I trusted.

[MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig]

I honestly don’t know what’s going on.

This colleague and I have always got on. She’s a position above me and has taken on a lot of extra work recently. I have always made sure that I supported her; she’s very young and inexperienced but keen and capable. I thought we got on well.

I got hauled into a meeting with the manager yesterday to find that apparently I’m accused of not pulling my weight and not doing my job properly. This has apparently come from my colleague.

I was quite upset and angry and made it quite clear that I refute these claims. If anything she’s taken the piss on occasion but I’ve always tried to be nice and supportive and as helpful as I can. A lot of my work involves supporting hers and I’ve always done my job as best as I can and I thought pretty well. I put all this across to the manager and she was very sympathetic and supportive.

We apparently have a mediation meeting tomorrow. I don’t know what to say. Obviously I want to stand my ground but I’ve never been in this position before. She clearly has a problem with me and has made a comment to management but been as nice as pie to my face, I had absolutely no idea she felt this way. I feel manipulated and blindsided.

What the hell do I do?

Colleague not colleges. Can’t edit title.

Sorry this is happening. I would gather evidence of your work that you've contributed to or sent and write a record of everything you've done to support and any feedback that you've received. If there was an issue with the standard of the work this should have been raised at the time and they should have talked you about it more than once before any complaint.

Going through pretty much the same thing right now and it sucks! Hope it goes well for you tomorrow, let us know how you get on.

Thank you.

I have never had any complaints from anyone about my work.

I have however heard several complaints about her, unfortunately from another colleague who has since left herself. In fact the awkward colleague was apparently one of the reasons why she left. She can be hard work but she’s young and I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. Obviously I got that wrong.

Sorry to hear that. It does suck! I don’t know how to defend myself when I haven’t done anything wrong!

Good luck to you too.

My dh said fuck it, just leave but I can’t really, I have financial responsibilities. And I love my job.

Did that colleague have an exit interview? Have you consulted with your union / ACAS? I believe that you are entitled to have representation with you

Don’t have experience of this… but I hope you stand firm that you’re definitely not a shirker. Good luck in sorting it …sometimes colleagues can be a pain in the arse!

I wonder if she is struggling in her new role and seeking to blame others (conciously or unconciously) to make herself feel better or look better to others.

You have been kinder to her then she deserves me thinks and perhaps you need to change this in order to protect yourself.

I would document some recent examples of where you have helped/supported role including any gratful responses from her in order to contrast with the fact that there are no (i assume) examples where she has pulled you up/critisised/ or corrected you. as well as examples of where you have not performed well (needs to be specific time and date etc)

HR wont be very impressed. As she is senior to you she would have been expected to deal with any low level stuff herself without involving HR before escalating. You can tell HR that none of these things have been raised prior to this and so you have never had a chance to address anything (assuming there is anything to address).

I wouldn't be inappropriate to suggest that you feel bullied as the proper process hasn't happened and you consider a senior member of staff raising issues to HR as a serious thing.

Evidence
Evidence
Evidence.

(⬆️⬆️⬆️You to ask for during the meeting)

Good luck

Jumping on to say that you can insist on having a colleague / union rep in with you; even if you’re not in a union sometimes they have reps who will sit in on meetings like this simply to make notes etc although if you’re not in a union they can’t speak. They can ask for a break to talk to you though.

As others have said, document, document and document.

Good Luck

Im not sure I'd be attending this mediation meeting. Or rather I would attend and then call a halt to proceedings once i git the gist of her case. Its not the appropriate line of action. If its related to performance why is it mediation? Surely this should have been tackled in a one to one or performance management meeting? One day's notice is not sufficient either.

This is very odd. So someone who is senior to you can’t actually speak to you if she has issues, but goes to your boss to complain about you out of the blue? Totally out of order. And now you are being expected to go straight to Mediation, without any discussion between you first? This is not generally how Mediation would work - or is this basically a meeting with the three of you with the line manager being the ‘Mediator’. Either way, stay professional, take pre-prepared notes of your interactions with her, ensure someone takes impartial notes of the meeting with agreed outcomes. Let us know how it goes op.

You must absolutely be given all the evidence of what she says you are (not) doing. Also bring up the help you have given her when she was struggling. Do you have a union rep that can support you?

I had something similar not too long ago, maybe a year ago.
Colleague whom I thought I got on well with (my junior, nominally), went to management with a list of petty complaints about me.
I had previously said a polite no to her rudely giving me an order. She lost her temper so I calmly repeated my stance and walked away from her. Omg she was furious - next thing I know, complaint.

We did mediation with management the next week. Her other complaints, which I really can't be bothered to type out, were just as inane and easily batted back. I hadn't done a single thing wrong, she was just plain old shit-stirring and it was obvious to all. She made herself seem small, spiteful and rather stupid, much to my neutral-faced joy.

I delight in being warm and gracious to her to this day, while she knows full well that I hate her guts for trying (and utterly failing) to land me in the shit over her bruised ego. I have done her the favour of not telling a soul what an arsehole she was. We both know she made a complete fool of herself.

Tra la la la.

My advice...keep your powder dry and be very calm and polite. No flies on you. xx

Agree with @Purplecatshopaholic , this all sounds really odd.

Do you have a reporting line into her? Just wondered because you describe her as a colleague rather than your manager.

Surely your line manager should be holding you to account on work/productivity? What happened in your last appraisal? Was there any indication they weren’t happy with you?

As has been said before stick to facts. Ask for examples of you 'not pulling your weight'. Don't be put of by vague accusations- ask for specific examples. Take the emotion out of it, dont get angry, just treat it as an issue you need more facts about because you are obviously blindsided by these comments.

It sounds like your colleague is struggling with her workload/targets and has decided to shift the blame on to you so she can use you as a scapegoat for her lack pf performance.

Be calm during the meeting and ask her to provide concrete examples and also share everything that you have done to support her.

She should have raised this first as well before starting to make complaints.

Whatever happens never trust her again.

Union rep?

As everyone says, ask for specific examples - when has a piece of work nor been completed on time because of something you did or didn't do? Where have you not followed instructions? Do you take longer to complete pieces of work compared with other people? Has the company lost money because of something you did or didn't do? Have there been any health and safety breaches because of something you did or didn't do?

Obviously, these questions will vary according to what you actually do. If the answer to any of them turns out to be yes, then you should ask why wasn't it raised at the time? You can't be expected to improve if you are not made aware of problems. Or it might be that you can say, yes, we realised that was a problem, but we've updated the procedure to prevent it from happening again.

It could be that when you ask why things haven't been raised at the time, that she says you're unapproachable - if that happens, I'd point out that you've come to this mediation because you want to solve any perceived issues, and hopefully this now shows you're not actually a scary monster, and it's all been a big misunderstanding. (Obviously if you succumb to the temptations of eye-rolling and muttering "FFS", you'll have to skip some of this...)

Good luck!

Did your manager give you any ideas or examples of what you have or haven’t done?

Do some prep ahead of the meeting about the work you have done for her, timescales, volume etc.

I would directly ask her in the meeting why she hasn’t felt able to address this with your directly and if she says she has the ask her for the occasions, emails, proof.

Does she have any valid points? Could you be more productive with your time?

Good luck. She sounds sneaky.

Hmm, do you think some of this could come from the manager? When you mention the colleague has taken on a lot of extra work recently, did she volunteer / was happy with the additional workload or is she under the cosh / unhappy with the additional work? I’m not sure I would be attending mediation in these circumstances, especially at such short notice without representation. Are you a member of a union or professional body?

I also wouldn’t reference her age and take care about referencing the complaints from your ex colleague.

Apparently it’s just an informal chat between us with the manager acting as mediator.

A week ago I’d have laughed at the idea. We got on absolutely fine. She would often ask me for personal advice. We’d chat about all sorts. She cries easily and I would often console her. She can be bloody hard work but I put that down to age and inexperience and tried to be supportive.

I have taken notes of all your suggestions and will try to go through them in the meeting.

I would love to see proof of her complaints. Especially as she’s equally as guilty of a couple of them. Apparently my timekeeping has been poor lately and I’ve been seen checking my personal phone. We all check our phones occasionally, me no more than anyone else, and our old manager used to say that she was often late in and then would piss about on her phone rather than help with opening up. Obviously I can’t prove that either though. And I’m always in on time so no idea why that’s even been mentioned. I never leave on time, I’m always making sure everything’s tidy and ready for the next day but I bet that doesn’t get a mention.

I won’t get much sleep tonight.

@MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig why should you leave? Ask for evidence/examples. Also, if you remember them, write notes of when you feel she took the mick. Maybe she has been pulled up and is trying to pass the buck. But if you have always had a good record then the onus is on others to prove otherwise.

Well she did have a disciplinary hearing for misconduct a few months ago. I’ve never had that happen to me.

She can't do her job so is making out you're the problem to divert attention from herself.