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Original poster

New employee (Gen Z} doesn’t want to meet in person

577 replies

outofofficeon · 01/09/2025 22:14

I took on a graduate for a new position, she’d been job hunting for a few years, I felt good about giving her a hand up into a great career.
She lives about an hour away so works remotely. She bright and polite and reliable and a good member of the team.

The problem I have is that she doesn’t want to visit the office in person or meet her colleagues in person, I offered to put her up in a nice hotel and pay travel costs so that she could spend a few days with us in person. She declined. My latest issue is that she doesn’t put her camera on when we are communicating at work as part of daily work or chats. I understand she might not be very confident but I think that you have to get out of the house / your comfort zone if you want a career.

im not sure what to do- any advice oh wise ladies.

OP posts:
Scalextricks · 02/09/2025 00:09

Cameras on is reasonable.

If you wanted to see her in the office sometimes you should have specified that in the contract.

Emmafuller79 · 02/09/2025 00:09

outofofficeon · 01/09/2025 22:14

I took on a graduate for a new position, she’d been job hunting for a few years, I felt good about giving her a hand up into a great career.
She lives about an hour away so works remotely. She bright and polite and reliable and a good member of the team.

The problem I have is that she doesn’t want to visit the office in person or meet her colleagues in person, I offered to put her up in a nice hotel and pay travel costs so that she could spend a few days with us in person. She declined. My latest issue is that she doesn’t put her camera on when we are communicating at work as part of daily work or chats. I understand she might not be very confident but I think that you have to get out of the house / your comfort zone if you want a career.

im not sure what to do- any advice oh wise ladies.

She sounds flakey, spoiled and demanding . if that was the best candidate I dread to think what the reject ones was like. I’m being serious.

Drew79 · 02/09/2025 00:09

So you didn't meet her in person when you gave her the role??
This sounds very much like your big cock up.

Emmafuller79 · 02/09/2025 00:11

blueclip · 01/09/2025 23:09

She lives an hour away? I used to commute upwards of an hour each way every single day. As do millions of people. Offering a hotel for that was extremely generous and it’s appalling that she’s refused.

She sounds like a stampy foot brat. I could never have imagined talking to my employer like that as a graduate. I went where they told me to!

A lot of her generation is like that . Cause of gentle parenting , entitled youtube influencers and schools calling everyone a winner,

I’m not raising my kids like this at all

Drew79 · 02/09/2025 00:12

lemonraspberry · 01/09/2025 22:46

Agree with pp. this is the generation which seem to be glued to their phones & taking selfies. Not usually camera shy.

Haha, so biased , most middle aged people **are glued to their phones and taking selfies

Greenwitchart · 02/09/2025 00:14

Her contract stipulates remote working so I completely understand why she wants to stick to what was agreed when she took the job.

If you want people to regularly attend your office then make it clear at the interview stage and only offer hybrid contracts.

However I would tell her that her camera should be on during meetings.

weirdoboelady · 02/09/2025 00:27

Oh wow, she lives A WHOLE HOUR away from work! In London that would be considered a short commute. I appreciate she is a remote worker but she should at least make the effort to meet the team - maybe a day or two a month? I'm stunned that you would consider providing an hotel for someone who lives an hour away.

oldmanandtheangel · 02/09/2025 00:35

An hour away ! Goodness me.
I once had a commute of 2.5 hours each way in my early 20s.
This generation is insane with their demands!

Daygloboo · 02/09/2025 00:39

outofofficeon · 01/09/2025 22:14

I took on a graduate for a new position, she’d been job hunting for a few years, I felt good about giving her a hand up into a great career.
She lives about an hour away so works remotely. She bright and polite and reliable and a good member of the team.

The problem I have is that she doesn’t want to visit the office in person or meet her colleagues in person, I offered to put her up in a nice hotel and pay travel costs so that she could spend a few days with us in person. She declined. My latest issue is that she doesn’t put her camera on when we are communicating at work as part of daily work or chats. I understand she might not be very confident but I think that you have to get out of the house / your comfort zone if you want a career.

im not sure what to do- any advice oh wise ladies.

Surely the contract says she has to put in an appearance once in a while. A job isn't just about what you want as an individual worker. You have an obligation to your team to some extent surely. She's not doing herself any favours.

Moveoverdarlin · 02/09/2025 00:41

I’d send two emails. First one to the whole team…

Morning All

From today I expect all members of staff to have their cameras on when on Teams calls.

Thanks

Sarah

Another one directly to her.

Hi Melanie

Stick 11am Wednesday 1st October in your diary for a meeting in the office.

Sarah

I just wouldn’t accept her saying she can’t make it. She’s forgetting who is boss.

LoafofSellotape · 02/09/2025 00:48

BoredZelda · 01/09/2025 23:12

They don’t meet your unspoken expectations, act as you would, but you think that’s their fault (with a nice dig at GenZ just in case we didn’t all get the hint)?

They were hired for a remote position but you are annoyed they aren’t jumping at the chance to come in to the office. This whole “camera on” nonsense winds me up too. I prefer to have mine on if I’m leading a meeting or in a small meeting but equally, I’m happy for others not to if they are just a participant. The “80% is visual” is laughable. In a 2 hour progress meeting, I speak for maybe 10 minutes tops. My camera is off for the rest of the meeting, even in the most engaging meeting, keeping a “this is so interesting face” is exhausting. Being Gen X, I remember the days of conference calls before cameras existed. Nobody complained. I remember being in those 2 hour meetings in person and finding it hard to remain awake at the part that had nothing to do with me.

Your expectations are the issue here, not their behaviours. If one person is stopping you fostering a team wide spirit, you need to do more than just blame your new employee.

Dh does the same, says hello at the beginning of the meeting and then it's off.

Daygloboo · 02/09/2025 00:52

Shewasafaireh · 01/09/2025 22:42

I don’t think cameras on is an unreasonable expectation, even for Gen Z. No one wants to be talking to a blank screen.

If she’s hired as remote there’s not much you can do about her coming in, though.

"Even for Gen Z." I've heard a lot about Gen Z and work. I can see what's going to happen.......Gen Zedders are going to split into two camps further down the line......those who eventually twig that a more grown up attitude is required and adjust and future- proof themselves for employment, and those who carry on the way they are and then find themselves unemployable 10 years from now.. This country definitelyi requires a lot of people to pull their finger out if we are going to compete the world stage. We're falling massively behind.

nomas · 02/09/2025 00:58

Get rid of her asap.

Fluffyblackcat7 · 02/09/2025 01:00

Shoemadlady · 01/09/2025 23:05

You’re the boss. Just tell the whole team on your next call that you’ve decided that going forward you want cameras on for your team meetings. That’s not a contractual change and she just needs to be told.
in regards to coming into the office, you need to establish why she can’t / won’t and try and work through that with her. What’s her productivity like? Is she still on probation?

The first thing that springs to mind is that maybe she has caring responsibilities at home (partner/child/parent/sibling) which is why she's chosen a wfh role.

You need to find out if this is the case, because if so, changing the goalposts now that she's in post would be very unfair.

Alsi, as a new graduate, maybe she doesn't see the need to meet in person, in which case you need to explain that to her.

I think you need to think about to what extent her declining to meet in person is affecting her productivity and if it is, request that she comes in once a month or so for training/team building.

Also you need to say that if it is going to be difficult for her to do for any reason (anxiety?) then please can she be upfront about that so that you can work together to establish what adjustments would make it easier for her. Maybe she doesn't need to meet the whole team at once: you first, to discuss the issues in person and then another colleague next week, gradually working towards a full team meeting in a few months time.

The 'cameras on' thing is a whole other issue. I know plenty of people who regularly attend online meetings without their camera on because it makes them feel exposed and open to prejudice around their appearance but it doesn't appear to dull their verbal effectiveness in meetings at all. Maybe that's something she will be more open to once she has met more of the team though? Or maybe it's really not so important.

Fluffyblackcat7 · 02/09/2025 01:01

The first thing that springs to mind is that maybe she has caring responsibilities at home (partner/child/parent/sibling) which is why she's chosen a wfh role.

You need to find out if this is the case, because if so, changing the goalposts now that she's in post would be very unfair.

Alsi, as a new graduate, maybe she doesn't see the need to meet in person, in which case you need to explain that to her.

I think you need to think about to what extent her declining to meet in person is affecting her productivity and if it is, request that she comes in once a month or so for training/team building.

Also you need to say that if it is going to be difficult for her to do for any reason (anxiety?) then please can she be upfront about that so that you can work together to establish what adjustments would make it easier for her. Maybe she doesn't need to meet the whole team at once: you first, to discuss the issues in person and then another colleague next week, gradually working towards a full team meeting in a few months time.

The 'cameras on' thing is a whole other issue. I know plenty of people who regularly attend online meetings without their camera on because it makes them feel exposed and open to prejudice around their appearance but it doesn't appear to dull their verbal effectiveness in meetings at all. Maybe that's something she will be more open to once she has met more of the team though? Or maybe it's really not so important.

Woodwalk · 02/09/2025 01:06

It doesn't matter if she lives next door. If you hired her as a remote worker and there's nothing in the contract stating she is required in person then she doesn't have to attend in person.

You can invite her for a social meet up, but she is allowed to decline.

I'd imagine she is wary of a day or two in the office, as once a boundary is broken it's hard to put it back. The boundary in this case is fully remote working, as per her contract.

The camera being on is different, and totally reasonable. From here on out I would insist on cameras on for everybody and encourage blurred background filters.

Daygloboo · 02/09/2025 01:09

Moveoverdarlin · 02/09/2025 00:41

I’d send two emails. First one to the whole team…

Morning All

From today I expect all members of staff to have their cameras on when on Teams calls.

Thanks

Sarah

Another one directly to her.

Hi Melanie

Stick 11am Wednesday 1st October in your diary for a meeting in the office.

Sarah

I just wouldn’t accept her saying she can’t make it. She’s forgetting who is boss.

I agree. It's ridiculous. Unless she has a disability, in which case reasonable adjustments etc.

ViciousCurrentBun · 02/09/2025 01:10

Is she still on probation?

If contract is fully remote working then that’s what it is but no camera on is not acceptable.

Francestein · 02/09/2025 01:15

I’d be deeply suspicious that she is not who you hired at all and is hiding things deliberately. Perhaps not the person on the resume.

Daygloboo · 02/09/2025 01:20

Francestein · 02/09/2025 01:15

I’d be deeply suspicious that she is not who you hired at all and is hiding things deliberately. Perhaps not the person on the resume.

Yes that would be a good reason to get her in. You hear about these people with 2 jobs on the go etc. Sorry poster but you are being too soft . You're not doing yourself any favours. Think about it. Youv're the boss, and you don't really know who is working for you. You dont know much about her character and nior does anybody else..not s good situation surely.

Agapornis · 02/09/2025 01:23

Don't hire remote if you don't want them to be remote 🤷 Presume the job ad and contract didn't say 'with 1 meeting a month in person at X location' or similar?

If she was at uni during covid she probably got used to no one having their camera on. You need to explain that that isn't acceptable in your workplace, e.g. send a team email saying "facial expressions are an important part of communication for the vast majority of people, so I expect all staff to have their camera on during all calls". Then remind everyone at the start of calls.

Perhaps she'd be receptive to a career plan with goals and KPIs. You could discuss honestly on employer culture and how to get promoted (i.e. be there in person). Is there any official mentoring available?

Woodwalk · 02/09/2025 01:27

Daygloboo · 02/09/2025 01:09

I agree. It's ridiculous. Unless she has a disability, in which case reasonable adjustments etc.

Show quote history

If she's been hired as a remote worker it isn't ridiculous at all. You don't need a disability to refuse to work in person if you're hired as fully remote.

There are several branches of my workplace across the whole UK. My contract states I work at the one near me - there's no clause about having to work anywhere else. I was told I was being put in a hotel and sent to work in a different branch to help out and I refused. I've no doubt this didn't help my long-term career prospects, but that's fine. I don't want a promotion, I wanted a local job. You go and do it once and it becomes the expectation that you'll do it again and suddenly your local job (or remote job) is no more. I've seen it happen to many a co-worker, and there's enough threads on here where people are advised to get remote work to suit their various circumstances. If you take a remote job it's because you don't want to work in-person, and nor should you be expected to.

OP should have hired her on a hybrid basis if she wants to demand in-person working.

Daygloboo · 02/09/2025 01:35

Woodwalk · 02/09/2025 01:27

If she's been hired as a remote worker it isn't ridiculous at all. You don't need a disability to refuse to work in person if you're hired as fully remote.

There are several branches of my workplace across the whole UK. My contract states I work at the one near me - there's no clause about having to work anywhere else. I was told I was being put in a hotel and sent to work in a different branch to help out and I refused. I've no doubt this didn't help my long-term career prospects, but that's fine. I don't want a promotion, I wanted a local job. You go and do it once and it becomes the expectation that you'll do it again and suddenly your local job (or remote job) is no more. I've seen it happen to many a co-worker, and there's enough threads on here where people are advised to get remote work to suit their various circumstances. If you take a remote job it's because you don't want to work in-person, and nor should you be expected to.

OP should have hired her on a hybrid basis if she wants to demand in-person working.

Show quote history

That's all very well, but it's not developing your job skills. In a fast changing economy, you have no idea what will be expected of you going forward. If you are not able to be flexible in your work pattterns and interpersonal skills, you are severely disadvantaging your choice and chances of future work. I dont know how old you are, but if you are young Ibghink you are limiting yourself hugely.

Bowies · 02/09/2025 01:45

Not everyone has cameras on in meetings, it depends on the meeting.

You should give advance request for camera on if necessary and I wouldn’t expect it to be necessary for every meeting.

Where things are affecting performance and the team you have a legitimate concern and would address it as part of that.

You should be able to have some contact days with her, but think you need HR advice, her contract isn’t really fit for purpose if it states fully remote and you expect her to come in sometimes.

Jess13224 · 02/09/2025 01:54

If she is meeting deadlines and performing well then I don't see an issue with her not wanting to visit the office unless it directly impacts her work which I'm presuming it does not as she was hired for remote work.

I can understand why having her camera off may be irritating however chances are she is in more comfier clothes and has her hair naturally which once again does not affect productivity negatively however it may not give the best professional image. You could argue this is leading to better work performance if she is more comfortable when working.

If there is issues with the work she is doing them these are valid concerns however she was hired for remote work and shouldn't be expected to do otherwise.