Manager at wits end

[simmzz]

Hoping to get some unbiased opinions on this ongoing rollercoaster I'm dealing with at work. I'm currently in a senior position, directly reporting to the execs and tipped to move up to exec level in the next few years. I oversee a team of 5 and for the most part it's a fantastic team- couldnt be prouder of their dedication to getting the job done and their attitude at work, with the exception of one colleague.

She was hired a few months before I joined ( just under 2 years ago) by the previous person in my position who then opted to leave for an opportunity too good to pass up. She was hired in an assistant position as she was still completing her qualifications (we are in finance) with the goal of her completing and dropping the assistant title, progressing etc as the normal path in finance.

However it's just been an absolute rollercoaster managing this person over the last year or so. We have had several instances where she missed deadlines and have had to be gently nudged to complete tasks (she cited month end as the excuse but we all deal with month end and get our regular tasks done). There have been times where she has just checked out from the team, not really contributing in team meetings and citing that she doesn't feel apart of the team, so much so it drove myself and another manager to begin having twice weekly check ins with her to motivate and keep her in the loop as much as we can.

The pace at which she completes tasks is also questionable. For instance I passed on one month end task to her to have a go at for a few months in the name of progression. It took her 6 hers to complete while it takes me less than an HR. Granted I do have more experience but even accounting for the experience gap, using almost a full workday for one task that takes others an HR has a huge impact. After a few months I ended up taking the task back because it impacted the entire team competing their tasks.

Late last year she applied for an internal position (a step up) and I supported it, even working to coach her for the interviews. In the end, someone was better suited sadly (and has truly shone in that role). In an effort to continue encouraging her, i have worked with other managers to get her on ad hoc projects to give exposure. This turned out disastrous as she didn't even respond to the email for 3 weeks. In the end , someone helped and has gone on to own that project.

Recently she has just not shown up to 1:1s and cancels meetings she would lead with no explanation. Refused to join the team meeting saying it offers no value to her. She has become very standoffish with me, wouldn't even acknowledge a good morning in the office from myself. Last week she was off sick and did not even inform me. I found out that day through the HR system after which I had to scramble to cover her tasks as they were time sensitive. I booked an in person check in to give her a chance to voice what has been going and speak to her about these things, reminding her she needs to attend meetings and speak to me directly if she is ill (which is not a problem I just need to know!). She has no reason why she didn't attend the check ins etc.

A day later I have found out she has been speaking to others in the office saying she doesn't like the working relationship with me and I make it difficult etc. however it's not to HR or anyone else where she is looking for action like a mediation to voice her concerns or request a manager change etc. she has also never voiced anything in the check ins twice weekly for months! Multiple sources have now fed this back to me. A fellow manager also flagged that she has been mentioning she would like to take on some tasks I do. However she never voiced it to me. I'm due to have a check in with her tomorrow and I'm at a loss at what to do with this one. As much as I have tried to be a kind manager and encourage her progression I feel I'm not getting anything in return to work with. Thoughts on how to handle this please? For context, she and I are similar ages and she holds a master's but just hasn't completed her chartered qualifications. She mentioned this as a comment.

Sorry for such a long one!

Why on earth would you support her for a role which is a step up with that record.
Im not working in an office based role but anyone clearly underperformed and refusing to attend meetings in my team would be in performance management procedures

Why on earth did you support her.

Is she on a PIP? (performance improvement plan)

Get her a different manager! Doesn’t sound like you gel!

You are not managing her very well at all putting up with all this crap she is pulling.
Get her on a pip and stop supporting her for higher roles when she can’t even cope with what she s already supposed to be doing

Why on earth did you support her.

Is she on a PIP? (performance improvement plan)

It sounds like she’s not respecting your authority. Have you a clear sickness reporting policy. If she didn’t follow that start the meeting with that, not attending team meetings or engaging if these part of her role surely is a performance issue. Go back to basics if you start documenting the catch up meetings role expectations etc. Don’t mention extra responsibility until her performance in normal role is up to scratch use a performance management plan if necessary.

There’s a time to end it. That time has come many many times. Come on now. Big girl pants on and replace her.

As a senior manager preparing for a step up to exec level, you need to handle a performance concern type situation with a lot more confidence. If a team member does not perform, you give them constructive feedback and the necessary training to do the job. If they don't turn up to meetings, you clarify that meetings are part of their job and that they are required to attend and contribute. Ensure there is a strong passport trail. If you keep having performance issues after doing all this consistently for a while, you call in HR and put them on a PIP, and if that doesn't have the desired results, you move forward with a performance based exit. That's all there is to this situation.

Thanks all. Sick policy is documented but as a company we are very flexible and understand people have families,kids etc.

Yes I have drafted a PIP and have flagged to my manager I will be going that way as I need to begin thinking of myself, my team and the company. At this point it feels like mollycoddling. They have asked that I take the weekend to consider if there is no other avenues to repair the relationship but ultimately they are there to protect me etc..

In terms of supporting her application for the internal role it was a lateral move but still a step up in terms of responsibilities. However she had expressed interest in the area and we supported her application as it seemed that her current role wasn't a good fit. Development is highly encouraged in my company. But to be fair she had to go through the same process as external candidates and just didn't have the experience we needed. She has over 5 years experience in the assistant position at different companies but hasn't seemed to progress or been able to finish her qualifications.

Thank you. I agree with this. I feel we have been understanding enough and everything just needs to be documented now with the aim of either preforming or an exit.

The only red flag I see here is that your manager is asking you to consider ways to "repair the relationship". Try to be clear with them that this is not about a personal relationship, but about the employee's ability to perform at the level that you require, both in terms of actual job performance (6h to do a 1h task) and professionalism (refusing to attend meetings that are part of the job).

I really agree with this. Your opening post seems to show that you're inadequate as a manager. This staff member should be on a PIP at least by now

Totally my thoughts. OP you aren’t ready for an exec position if you ca T manage this situation without knowing exactly what to do.

She isn’t performing. She’s being belligerent. She doesn’t respect you. She misses deadlines etc etc etc.

Put her on a PIP now and manage the situation. Being a great manager isn’t just about when times are good and people are easy to manage.

She doesn't like being managed by you that's for sure. Have you documented everything and involved HR?

The person you're dealing with seems to be struggling with the basics. She's not following policy and her behaviour is awful - sounds like gross misconduct not attending meetings, failing to call in sick. There's clearly something going on with her, but your relationship isn't good enough for her to tell you by the sound of things.

I'm afraid this might end badly - and the reflection will be on you not her.

When things go a bit wrong you may find you have no friends around you as the "execs" will back away from problems..

Once PIPs are involved it is a one way journey, typically.

Who do you genuinely trust in your organisation, that you could go to for advice that would not then get blurted out in a meeting you are not at?

Thanks everyone. I have already spoken to HR and asked for company policy, script on having the conversation tomorrow. Have a PIP prepped and prepared to take a hard line from now qs I have had enough. Just wondered if I was missing anything ahead of the conversation tomorrow and informing my manager of my decision. This is not the right fit for this staff member.

PIP?

YOu should be giving her a FINAL written warning!

"Recently she has just not shown up to 1:1s and cancels meetings she would lead with no explanation. Refused to join the team meeting saying it offers no value to her. She has become very standoffish with me, wouldn't even acknowledge a good morning in the office from myself. Last week she was off sick and did not even inform me. I found out that day through the HR system after which I had to scramble to cover her tasks as they were time sensitive."

I mean come on, this is downright insubordination, refusing reasonable management instructions and action that brings disrepute into play. At a minimum, her actions constitute gross misconduct.

She should be sacked immediately based on her actions. Fuck the PIP.

Anyone doing any of that which I have highlighted - their feet wouldnt fucking touch.

She should be fucking SACKED.

Gross misconduct but she should have been managed before it got to this stage.

Wow! You supported someone who seems to be struggling in their role to apply for a higher level post? Is that correct? If I was your manager I would be concerned about your motives.

I would really recommend the book Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott.

it is a fantastic book to help you prepare difficult conversations and also how to handle them.

Your colleague’s work is impacting you and the rest of the team and this needs to be addressed properly.

I think this may become difficult for you. They may well sue for constructive dismissal. It is very difficult to use competency against someone whom has been supported to go for a higher role particularly as you do not seem to have followed or even be aware of the company policies.

There is evidence that the employee has been failing to attend 1-2-1s, team meetings and what not, thats gross misconduct.

Employee wouldnt have a leg to stand on if they tried to sue.

I doubt any legal team would want to shovel that sort of mess when the employee is utterly rogue (and fucking incompetent).

I’m sure you’ve been given great advice, which I haven’t read…but for what it’s worth here is my two pence worth.

I manage a team of around 15-20 mainly professionals but some unqualified as well. In my view this member of staff neither respects your authority, or her colleagues in regard to their time etc. You’ve tried a soft approach, you’ve supported her and given her numerous and unearned (from what I can see) opportunities. With some staff, their own agenda comes before yours or your teams, they are rogue and unlikely to thank you for your efforts. You simply need to come down hard on her. Be very clear about your expectations, so turning up on time, following sickness processes, and anything else she isn’t doing. Give her direct deadlines and make sure she understands your instructions and expectations. Be clear about the outcomes for her if she does not comply. First though, be sure there is nothing acting as a barrier for her to achieve what you are demanding, so any issues at home, any diversity issues, reasonable adjustments that may need to be made to remove barriers etc.

Good luck, I’ve had a few staff who no matter how much you try, they throw it back in your face and would try and throw you under a bus to achieve their desired outcomes!

Firstly, report the behaviour to Hr, behind the scenes and to your direct report. Save and apply evidence to this. There may be a chance of a breakdown in the future and you may be asked to prove your actions, so it’s best to document them now. Secondly. Don’t give her added responsibility. Yet, but advise her it can be worked towards when she for fills standard expectations. First stage is to have the 1.2.1 with her. Advise her after that you will follow up in writing with Hr. Give her the chance to explain. Take her proven results with you into the 1.2.1 and let the evidence speak for itself. Advise her, she has 30 days to improve or you will move to a P.I.P (personal improvement plan) if you went to a p.i.p let hr know you are doing it before it’s actioned. If you’re a smaller company, you may not have a policy written on these, so speak to your direct report. Give her A.I.D developmental feedback in the meeting you can look up this frame work online. It means action (hers) impact (the effects to the business) and development (what development they need to do to improve) give them a target that is realistic, but kindly advise them, that a pip is there to help them, but it can lead to disciplinary. Obviously check with HR. Try not to let her opinion of you personally get in your mind, as long as you include her, be nice give her support where she asked for it, and you can show you have done that, then her fate will be in her hands not yours. I know it’s hard…. Trust me I’ve had some nightmare staff over time. We have a great team now. But where one person will think your the best most supportive Manager, another will feel completely unsupported. Usually it’s the low performers that say this. Really it’s a way of them blaming someone else for thier under-performing

Agree with you 100% I manage 25 too.