Just seen "sick" colleague in supermarket

[Daniellemcg]

We're part of a small team (NHS staff) and are chronically under staffed and overworked.
One team member went off sick earlier this week with what she called the most horrific back pain caused by sciatica. Submitted a sicknote yesterday for 4 weeks. Saw her in supermarket today carrying her toddler and pushing trolley full to the brim with other hand.
She led us to believe she's in agony but was laughing to her toddler and walking normally today. No signs of the pain she's been displaying at work.
She didn't see me today.
Should I say anything at work? Everyone at work has been saying "poor Emma (name change), she must be in agony.. The poor thing.".

Yes my manager is shit aswell.

But my manager in nearly every job that i have been in, has been shit.

Most managers are not the caring type ive found. They just want the work done.

So if one of your employees calls in sick fpr a week, who picks up the extra workload in your place? Say that their are client queries that have to be answered, for example.

She could easily get a delivery, I’d let it be known to our line manager even if I didn’t report formally.

Wouldn't they opt for a home delivery? What sick person chooses to take a toddler to a supermarket on a Saturday? That's bad enough when you're fit and well.

I don't know if everyone on here posts what they think they should to appear on so reasonable but in real life wouldn't most people at least raise an eyebrow in this situation

God, people are horrific. She's off sick. She was signed off. Keep your beak out and stop judging. Where's the sense of solidarity for a colleague?

I get back pain at times. What I can't do when I do is stand or sit still. The agony is awful. What I can do is walk and move - it eases the pain.

mind your own business.

i have sciatica, i also have OA, fibromyalgia and disk disease. it's bad enough that i have the council OT coming this week to bring me equipment and fit new stair rails, and i walk with crutches most of the time.

I can still go shopping, and i can still tackle my autistic 18yo if needed.

Then i get home and collapse for the rest of the day.

Life can't stop because you're in pain, and being too sick to do 9-5 5 days a week isn't the same as putting a face on it and pushing through the hour it takes to shop.

you have zero clue how her pain is affecting her.

I'm off sick for the next 3-6 months for cancer treatment. I was also at the gym yesterday. I'll be gardening tomorrow, and on the Eurostar for some sightseeing in September.

Leave her alone.

I find taking pictures of people without their consent really offensive, and a bit creepy. It's rarely done for positive purposes.

Mine can appear and disappear in an instant. Yesterday, I was fine until I tried to get up from my desk for the 15th time and it shot around my hip, taking my breath away. On another occasion, I'd had extreme pain for weeks, was gingerly lowering myself onto chairs/the toilet/bed near to tears and by the time I had to get up again, it had vanished, only to come back three months later when crossing a busy road.

One thing I could almost always do, though, was push a shopping trolley as I could use it to hold me up until a spasm or the nerve decided to ease. I might end up unable to move for anything including bathroom visits after I got home, mind.

That's the thing with sciatica - it doesn't always stay constant and can come and go multiple times in a day. Getting fired because somebody saw me in a brief window where it had eased and I needed to feed my kids wouldn't have fixed it, even if the person running to management might have felt really big and clever about doing it.

You sound simple-minded.

Where I live, I can’t get grocery delivery slots with next day or same day delivery. They need to be booked in advance.

So if I was sick, and had a toddler that needs food, with no food in before the first available delivery slot - the only option would be to go to the shop. You are acting like it’s the preferred option when you have no idea of the circumstances.

it isn't that simple.

as upthread, i have disk disease, i've had a 'bad back' since i was 17, i carried my kids plenty, sometimes you do what you have to where your kids are concerned.

Life can't stop because you have a physical pain problem, there's some stuff you have to get on with.

Yup pretty much this.

Thats why it’s frustrating and labour consuming trying to bring benefit fraudsters to justice like those illegally claiming sickness benefit. The first time the fraud team go undercover, they have to assume any unexpected visions of health are them having a good day which is why it’s expensive and drags out so much.

It would be remiss of you to not give your colleague the benefit of the doubt. And I agree with PP it’s a shame your manager/workplace doesn’t manage workloads linked to absence better and YANBU to feel those frustrations.

I'm a big fan of minding my own business in circumstances like this.

I get back pain, it starts suddenly but also ends suddenly. It's not like a pulled muscle where it gradually recovers in my case. It feels like the nerves trapped, then when it untraps its normal again.

Have you never dosed up on pain killers, gritted your teeth and powered through a necessary shopping trip? Maybe not, if you’re not a chronic pain sufferer. So your best bet here is to mind your own business.

Don't poke your nose in! She could well be on strong painkillers, and she probably has no choice to go food shopping especially when she has kids! Never judge.

I'd report to HR. Her skiving is creating more work for you. It is not a victimless crime.

I’d stay out of it. Even if you did report it no one is going to do anything about you seeing her fleetingly in a supermarket. They aren’t going to question a medical certificate over that .

Hmm yes of course she has to eat, feed her toddlee etc. However, if her sciatica was that bad ro be signed off for 4 weeks she would not be able to bend down , pick her toddler up, carry him and comfortably push a full trolley. In addition, if her pain killers are so efffective, why is she not using it to go to work?

The chances are, there may be another reason why she is signed off that you don’t know about.

In addition, I am curious why you didn’t say hello?

If you're in a public place no consent is needed. If you don't want to be cauight out cheating the system don't leave the house.

It’s not a crime at all 😂

And surely you’re aware she might be on powerful medication which could affect work performance!
She might be able to perform well for short periods at home.
It may as well affect a current or future wcb claim.
Oh and maybe she needed the time away to mentally regroup.

All this sympathy - if it’s you or your family that lies on a hospital trolley for10 hours -don’t complain

@StoorieHoose knowing you had a back problem that would be worsened by heavy lifting, when the pain killers took effect would you have pushed a heavy trolley and carried your toddler?

Supermarkets these days do this amazing thing called home delivery so you don't have to drag your sciatica and toddler to the store.

If she normally sits behind a computer screen and types in notes well I'd say she could likely be ok to work. If she's going to one her feet nonstop for X hours helping shift fat ass patients then no she shouldn't be there.