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Original poster

Just seen "sick" colleague in supermarket

331 replies

Daniellemcg · 12/07/2025 17:14

We're part of a small team (NHS staff) and are chronically under staffed and overworked.
One team member went off sick earlier this week with what she called the most horrific back pain caused by sciatica. Submitted a sicknote yesterday for 4 weeks. Saw her in supermarket today carrying her toddler and pushing trolley full to the brim with other hand.
She led us to believe she's in agony but was laughing to her toddler and walking normally today. No signs of the pain she's been displaying at work.
She didn't see me today.
Should I say anything at work? Everyone at work has been saying "poor Emma (name change), she must be in agony.. The poor thing.".

OP posts:
jamanbutter · 12/07/2025 17:40

Stay out of it

Pinty · 12/07/2025 17:40

She could have terrible pain that is intermittent and not be able to work. But she needs to buy food and to look ok after her child.
I have had sciatica and it is awful but it wasn't always so bad that I couldn't walk and I could pick things up. I couldn't sit for long or stand in one place. Symptoms vary
I don't think you should judge .

Elektra1 · 12/07/2025 17:41

People still have to feed their kids when they’re sick. I have felt close to death’s door in the past but as a single parent I still had to pick my kids up from school, buy food and cook it for them. Unless you particularly have it in for this woman and are ready to stir some shit at work which you’ll then have to deal with, I’d give her the benefit of the doubt and keep your own side of the street clean.

Mitara · 12/07/2025 17:41

I can understand your annoyance, seeing as my department is short staffed and my colleague called in sick, and then i saw him at the beach.

However i believe with sciatica you can get flare ups. So she could be in bad pain one day, and she could be better another day.

LoudSnoringDog · 12/07/2025 17:43

Maybe she has gone off sick because of the impact of being “chronically understaffed and overworked”
take this issue up with your manager

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 12/07/2025 17:43

Maybe she’s stressed and doesn’t want put that as the reason in her sick note or she’s just saying that as a cover up. Either way, sick pay is there for a reason and she obviously needs it.

657904I · 12/07/2025 17:43

Minnie798 · 12/07/2025 17:32

I wouldn't say anything at work but I would certainly believe she was skiving. Four weeks sick note submitted yesterday but happily carrying her toddler round a shop today. If dosing up on painkillers was that effective, she could do it to attend work.

Oh, shut up. If work is the cause of her pain, it completely makes sense for her to be signed off work regardless of medication giving some relief.

My friend is a NHS nurse & manager and has chronic back pain from work. No amount of painkillers and physiotherapy is going to stop the chronic pain as in reality she isn’t going stop lifting up patients that are twice the size of her at work. Her employer refuses to cut off the source of her pain, so it’s obviously not going to go away.

Krest · 12/07/2025 17:43

It’s not like you saw her doing a bungee jump, she was doing grocery shopping presumably to feed herself and her kids.

PluckyBamboo · 12/07/2025 17:45

When my husband had sciatica it was the standing up and sitting down that killed him, not walking which was encouraged by his Dr.

I would trust her GP probably knows better than you and keep your beak out.

Jamesblonde2 · 12/07/2025 17:46

Yes I would say something. Don’t know how you stopped yourself saying Hi to her and asking if she was back at work tomorrow.

It’s a piss take. All funded by the tax payer. And she’s happy for the rest of her team to take the load, knowing fine well it would be really difficult for any manager to arrange cover at such short notice and for such a short period of time. I’d struggle to speak to her on her return.

tinyspiny · 12/07/2025 17:46

Moving about is often the best thing for back pain , mind your own business .

Laiste · 12/07/2025 17:47

When my back 'goes' the only thing i can do without being in agony is walk about. I walk about all bloody day because i can't sit, bend or lay down without being in so much pain it makes me cry. I can carry stuff ...

The only thing i'd wonder about is her getting in and out of a car, cos that would be impossible for me!

Mitara · 12/07/2025 17:48

It is infuriating sometimes though. People do take the piss we all know that.

My colleague called in sick for a week. It meant that my workload was twice as much. I was so stressed from the double workload.

He definitely wasnt sick. I know from different sources.

Minnie798 · 12/07/2025 17:49

657904I · 12/07/2025 17:43

Oh, shut up. If work is the cause of her pain, it completely makes sense for her to be signed off work regardless of medication giving some relief.

My friend is a NHS nurse & manager and has chronic back pain from work. No amount of painkillers and physiotherapy is going to stop the chronic pain as in reality she isn’t going stop lifting up patients that are twice the size of her at work. Her employer refuses to cut off the source of her pain, so it’s obviously not going to go away.

Show quote history

No! The op asked for opinions. I've given mine .

transformandriseup · 12/07/2025 17:49

It’s got nothing to do with you so I would stay out of it. I don’t use home delivery.

ChidiAnagonye · 12/07/2025 17:50

YABU.
There will be times when she won’t be in pain. She is signed off by her gp and it has fuck all to do with you.

you’re feeling the strain at work? Talk to your manager. Don’t take it out on a colleague

OldRoguey · 12/07/2025 17:51

dontcomeatme · 12/07/2025 17:26

I have de quervain's tenosynovitis and I am in agony all day every day at the moment. I still have to put a brave face on and look after my 2YO and 4month old.

Ask your GP for a steroid injection. I had de quervains after having eldest and was in tears with the pain. Anti-inflammatories and a brace weren't cutting it so I had the injection and it was like magic, 3 days later... Pain gone!

WorcsEdu · 12/07/2025 17:51

Really shocked you work in the NHS and don’t know that illness/pain can come and go (in addition to being numbed by drugs). It would be horrible and yes even stupid for you to spread what amounts to gossip about her. Shame on you.

Flossflower · 12/07/2025 17:52

For all those saying that she could be drugged up; if you have a bad back you don’t carry a toddler at all. It will only make the situation worse in the long run.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 12/07/2025 17:52

She's probably taken a dose of Naproxen.

Mitara · 12/07/2025 17:52

I can totallt understand the ops feeling though.

I was bent in two from an increased workload last week because my colleague called in sick. I honestly felt like i was going to have a breakdown at points.

And i knew he wasnt sick.

657904I · 12/07/2025 17:53

Mitara · 12/07/2025 17:48

It is infuriating sometimes though. People do take the piss we all know that.

My colleague called in sick for a week. It meant that my workload was twice as much. I was so stressed from the double workload.

He definitely wasnt sick. I know from different sources.

Edited

See from my perspective as a senior manager, I think you’re angry at the wrong person. No one on my team picks up double the workload when someone is off sick. Your employer/manager is providing a shitty work environment where you have double the workload & all the stress. That’s not your colleague’s decision.

WhereIsMyLight · 12/07/2025 17:54

She’s still got to eat. She’s still got to feed her toddler. She’s still got to be a parent and I know when I’ve been in pain, I’ve put on a brave face for my toddler. Not least because have no filter and I don’t need everyone in Tesco knowing my business. Yes supermarkets deliver but if she was signed off yesterday, she might not have been in time to get a slot for today and with a toddler at home it’s not as if you can just not have food in the house. Food deliveries also cost money and they often come with substitutions, which may leave her without the ingredients for a meal. It also doesn’t allow you to look for clubcard deals in the same way or reduced items, which is important if she’s on a budget.

I know you’re understaffed (that isn’t her fault, it’s part of a much bigger problem) but imagine if we had a culture that let people eat and find joy with their children when they’re sick, in the hope it gets them better quicker. Rather than assuming they’re on the skive and they need to be reported.

657904I · 12/07/2025 17:54

Mitara · 12/07/2025 17:52

I can totallt understand the ops feeling though.

I was bent in two from an increased workload last week because my colleague called in sick. I honestly felt like i was going to have a breakdown at points.

And i knew he wasnt sick.

So why didn’t you speak to your manager about your stress levels?

ClearHoldBuild · 12/07/2025 17:55

Jamesblonde2 · 12/07/2025 17:46

Yes I would say something. Don’t know how you stopped yourself saying Hi to her and asking if she was back at work tomorrow.

It’s a piss take. All funded by the tax payer. And she’s happy for the rest of her team to take the load, knowing fine well it would be really difficult for any manager to arrange cover at such short notice and for such a short period of time. I’d struggle to speak to her on her return.

I pay your wages!

She has seen her shopping and not even spoken to her. If one of my coworkers came in and told me she’d seen a sick colleague in the supermarket with her child I would think nothing of it other than they were a busy body trying to make someone who has a drs note look bad. I hope she’s never signed off herself and needs to pop out whether it’s essential or just for a change of scenery.
I say this as someone who was last off sick about 4 years ago.