What to do when you realise you’re over it with your profession

[Crowpigeon]

I have been in the same profession for 20 years, not a high flyer or a specialist but a steady pair of hands, a team player, reliable and supportive etc. I have had ups and downs over the years, bad management, poor resources etc at times but essentially the job itself has never really been the issue, it felt like my calling and on the whole I was good at it.

In recent years i have felt boxed in by stress, expectations from clients, targets from corporate owners, financial constraints to treatment. I have turned this in on myself, blamed burn out, compassion fatigue, perimenopause, a lack of resilience, mental health, making it a me problem. But I have had a realisation that the job is so different now, that so many layers of stress and complexity have been added and pretty much everyone else in my position is unhappy/thinking about leaving too. Do we gas light ourselves when we keep saying it’s not the job it’s xyz that’s the problem. Maybe it actually is the job?

But I feel guilty to waste all the training and experience, I do a job others think they’d dream of doing. I have no clue what else I could do and no other particular passions. My work gives me exactly the hours I want, is local and my team are great.

Anyone else been here? What did you do?

Most of the time I think it is the job. There are a lot of poor employers and bosses out there.

What else could you do? Grass isn’t necessarily greener on the other side.

as you have said the landscape and expectations have changed with added layers of stress and complexity. This is true of many corporate environments, which changes everything about a job. I am not sure what the answer is as the problems could be exactly the same elsewhere.

This is me exactly!

Teaching for 29 years. Loved it. Was good at it. Respected by colleagues, parents and children. Same school for 24 years.
Things changed in 2021 when I was off for 9 months for breast cancer treatment. Complications with my health on my return meant my headteacher didn't trust me to have class responsibility. Slowly came to realise I would probably never have a class again. I've been class sharing, covering management and PPA since 2022. Interesting and I embraced it but didn't love it.

Along with unrealistic parents and entitled kids I slowly realised my time in schools as a class teacher had run its course. I have 2 weeks left in my job.

It's time to move on to something else.

I've been an accountant for 42 years, now aged 60 and well and truly sick of it. I'm too old to change career and winding down to retirement over the next few years, currently down to 4 days, and it will be 3 days next year.

Fed up of the ever changing pointless rule/law changes which often see-saw from one extreme to another, whether it's accounting standards, auditing standards, money laundering rules, tax rules constantly changing, data protection laws, ever changing employment laws and now the new company law and accounts changes. It's all too much. Trouble is that none of it actually improves anything, so it's all a waste of time, money and effort to keep up with the changes.

The more things change, the more they stay the same!

Thanks for your comments, I’m sorry for those who feel the same as me, but it’s good not to feel alone (and helpful for the days when I think maybe I should retrain as a teacher or an accountant)

Diversify? I bet you'll have lots of transferable skills. Are you in veterinary by any chance? There's a FB group called vets: stay, go or diversify with lots of great advice and ideas.

I feel the same. My role used to be autonomous and I had the freedom and creativity to problem
solve and make it work. Now there is a ‘strong focus on commercial drive’. I no longer have any autonomy. I don’t even have control over my diary. All the forms I have to use are tickboxes. I hate it. 😡

It’s strange that so many are stressed and unhappy at work when there is so much noise about workplace culture and wellbeing. My feeling is that the job satisfaction of working hard, doing a good job, problem solving and collaborative working with others has been eroded. All that matters is that you are a productive worker, contributing to the company bottom line and the right boxes are ticked along the way.

I think that’s known as gaslighting. I loosely work in the (wellness) industry. My department got outsourced to a private limited company and all that appears to matter are the share holders and profit. Lip service is paid to complaints of work related stress and anxiety. If you complain about the workload, you are met with a shrug of the shoulders. I think my particular employer does the legal bare minimum to address Health and safety and equality. You quite literally have to beg for a risk assessment. And you’re lucky if you get one.

Fed up of the ever changing pointless rule/law changes which often see-saw from one extreme to another, whether it's accounting standards, auditing standards, money laundering rules, tax rules constantly changing, data protection laws, ever changing employment laws and now the new company law and accounts changes. It's all too much. Trouble is that none of it actually improves anything, so it's all a waste of time, money and effort to keep up with the changes.
I hear you, sister!
I'm more than ready to hand over to the next generation.

I went part-time and am retraining in something a bit more life balance friendly on the side. Undecided as to what I want to do ultimately but it's good just to have options. I love parts of my job (legal) and I admit that this includes the money, but unfortunately the money is as good as it is in part because the job's so difficult and stressful 🤷

i’ve been at it for 20 years and I’m only keeping going because I’d rather pay for my daughter school fees out of income than savings. But once that’s over, I’m leaving. I’m going to retrain while there’s still some time and do something that I’ll find more entertaining. I think the most careers have a shelf life, and the additional levels of regulation of micromanagement that have developed even over the time I’ve been doing law just make me sigh.

Could you afford some coaching to help you work out what your options are and whats important to you?

What do you do? You take a leap of faith really. How many years left of work have you got? If you're not even half way through your working years, you've got plenty of time to build up a new career.
You're spending a lot of hours a week working. If you're miserable, try something else.

I think that, for most people and most jobs, 40-odd years is a long time to work in the same job. I know lots of people in their 40s and 50s who used to love their job and are now feeling disillusioned with it. So maybe retraining will help, in the sense that at least it will be something different? You won't know what it used to be like to compare to.

I wish I knew. I got made redundant from my job last year. I've been in marketing for over 20 years. It used to be creative, risk taking, imaginative and fun. It was always a lot of work but I liked it. Now finance seem to run everything so marketing has lost a lot of investment and is measured only in terms of profit which means you can only do what worked last time. It's very dull but I've no idea what I'd switch to or who'd hire me at this age.

I could have written this! I fantasise about early retirement but I’m a fair bit away from being able to do that (but I am prioritising pension contributions). I’m well paid but the toll it’s taking worries me. I’m not tolerating the stress and anxiety as I once did but I’m sure that’s partly peri. Then I convince myself I couldn’t do anything else as I’ve been doing it for nearly 25 years. Then I tell myself to suck it up as I’m in a fortunate position. I go round in circles and I’m maybe a bit stuck in my head.

Well- in my case I retrained. At the age of 40. Went from working in the charity sector to getting a law degree and then a training contract and qualified solicitor.

I swapped one profession I hated to another that I hated even more and because I was entry level dropping my salary by £15k a year.

Then I became ill with a life-limiting illness and now am incapable of working full time. So - no useful solutions or suggestions from me I am afraid! But yes, the grass is not always greener. I wish i had plugged away at my old profession and changed workplaces/organisations until a better fit tbh.

When I got to your stage (also about 20 years in) I realised that if I stayed in my job the next year would be just like the last. I looked around at colleagues who were older than me and they all looked grey, beaten and as though they didn't know why they stood it anymore and knew it was time to do something new.

I retrained in a field that had always been a hobby and passion all my life and had a second career which I absolutely loved. It was a breath of fresh air in my life at a time when I could have just trudged on miserably.

Our working lives are long and there's room for more than one career.

Do you mind me asking what your second career was? I feel so similar to you and PPs but haven't found what else I want to do yet, I feel its out there though!

Younger colleagues often ask how I have stuck at it for so long. It is difficult to explain how much things have changed and for a long time it was rewarding, challenging and even enjoyable. I fear that I will come across as one of those oldies nostalgic for the good old days but I also want to impart on them that there was a time when things were better and that progress is not always for the benefit of everyone.

I had children!

@Happy24624 I retrained as a gardener when I was 50. It was a no brainer for me as gardening had always been my hobby. I have photos of me as a toddler digging with a tiny spade and planting things. Whilst I was training I got a job working for the National Trust and after a few years set up my own business.

I'd worked in law before so it was a complete change and a huge drop in salary, but the benefits far outweighed that.

I don't want another career now at nearly 57. I just need something that's fluid that I can dip in and out of like supply teaching or online training. That's my plan. I just need £1k or so to top up my pension.

Op I feel just like you. Are you in the public sector? Once the blinkers come off, it's hard to see your job in the same way. I feel an idiot for giving so much of myself to a job that I could never progress in as my face doesn't fit. And now I don't want to progress as management are dickheads