Two days into new job/career and want to quit

[Y0gamummy]

Sitting here feeling like an embarrassed, 45-year-old failure after taking a big career gamble that appears to have been a mistake. Quit my corporate job (which I was hating) to work in a residential children's home, with a view to moving into social work or similar. Have always wanted to work in a job that helps vulnerable people and this felt like a good way to test the water. Company very pro-training and would have funded a masters in social work if that was the road I decided to go down in future.

However.... I've done two days and feel like I've made a huge mistake. Trying not to be too knee jerk and I always knew it would be a huge culture shock for me but...
It's not even the kids (which everyone assumed would be the most challenging but), it's the other staff and the treatment of the kids by them and the system.

I naively thought I would be helping but from what I can see the focus is on paperwork and 'managing' the house and the kids, rather than any meaningful time or connections with the young people.

I feel naive, shocked, embarrassed, disallusioned and gutted really as I thought I was moving into something rewarding.

Have hated the culture, the attitude towards the kids from staff and the sense already that the approach to shifts etc will mean a significant impact on my family life.

Other than not having another job to go to, the only thing holding me back from quitting is the niggle that maybe I can still offer these kids something in an environment that from what I can see, just reinforces their status as kids that nobody cares about. But can I work in that system? I wanted a job I could be proud of.

Lots of people have a new job "wobble", let alone after an extreme career change and intense new environment! Push through the initial panic and remind yourself of why you are there. You've got this! 💪

The work culture in these sorts of jobs is always bad, I'm a teacher and it's the same sort of thing. You think it's going to be helping career but your time is spent up being talked down to and doing pointless paperwork, and then being told your not good enough even when your amazing at the actual job of working with the kids but because your not doing all the pointless paperwork up to standard. It won't get better, it will just wear you down until you develop adrenal failure and you leave due to health issues. Leave now and find yourself a new office job.

Haven’t rtwt, but really wanted to reply, as I did something similar. I went from a profession to supporting young people in residential care. I’ve been doing it 5 & half years now & am still learning the ropes in some ways! If you have already had glimmers with the young people you support, I would urge you to continue. In the first instance, raise any concerns you have with your line manager (in the company I work for, that would be a senior). If not resolved within an agreed time, escalate to Deputy Manager & onwards & upwards if still not resolved. I had to find a new company to work for, after 13 months, when I realised that the one I started with didn’t share my principles regarding the work. I now work for a charity and, like you, have found the training very good. It might be that you need to find a different company to work for, but give it more of a chance first.

I am aware that some colleagues wonder why I do the job and this causes some negative behaviour towards me. I have found that just ignoring it, or making a joke out of it (if they say anything directly) works for me. I just get on with the job and make sure I’m putting in my utmost & doing it to the best of my ability. If you don’t want the extra hours, just say no to them. You only have to work your contracted hours, no matter how short staffed they are. If no one on the staff team picks up the shift, management need to get agency workers in.

If you’re supporting under 18s, you will need to study for NVQ level 3 in supporting children in residential homes, within 2 years of starting the job, so I would advise you to start finding out about how your company supports you through that now.

Do post on here, or pm me if you have any more queries. I’d love to help you.

Change takes time OP.

So you think it could be the company ethos? Lots of companies talk the talk but putting it in to practise is very different.

I work in a similar role, having moved from supporting adults. I work for a LA and we are always crying out for good staff. Could you stick it out for 6 months and try and move to a LA?

You say you feel you are just managing the children. In what way? Are they older so working towards independence therefore you are trying to promote that, or is it more that the staff are managing behaviour and not actually supporting the children?

Do you think you might be being harsh? Did you come at it from a place where you thought that it would all be sunshine and rainbows and actually what you have is a team who have been through tough times and are feeling jaded and unsupported? This still isn't okay but there are definitely times in my role where things have been very difficult and my own resilience has been tested. This mainly comes if we have children who have frequent violent outbursts and these cause staff to get hurt. I apologise if that isn't the case, but maybe the background is important.

The only thing to note is that every setting is completely different. It might be that you have been unlucky and or lucky with finding a setting that you don’t like. It all comes down to management practices and focus. You could find another home to work in?

Imo all care jobs are like that . There are policies and procedures on paper that must be adhered to but in actual fact nothing ever gets done like that whether it’s because it’s unachievable with humans or because the staff are just not that bothered

It might have been a bit rash to jump, but doing this will give you good experience for the career shift you want to make.

I know it’s painful but the disillusion is an important part of the learning curve you are on.

Use it as a learning experience and while you are at the coalface, spend as much time with the kids as you can - even a little attention can make a huge difference, and focusing on that will make you feel better for the moment

Fantastic that our massively underfunded social care can be solved with ‘you got this’. Bloody hell.

I manage children’s homes and I can promise you that they are not all like this. You won’t get away from the paperwork (blame Ofsted lol), but there are homes who have a culture of spending quality time with young people.
In your position, I would try a different local authority or company.

Who said anything about her solving everything? OP isn't stupid, wind your neck in.

You sound like what I needed in the care home but didn't get maybe its time to make a noise and shake the system up

If you don't take chances in life, you will never grow. As much as it doesn't feel like it atm, you did the right thing. I've worked in prisons. I always believed I could make a difference. Change your mindset, give it a chance and believe that these kids need you and people like you.
Good luck!

Maybe you want to make a difference move into a role within Chldrens Services in an LA.
Don’t assume all Children's homes are like this. But they are and will always be challenging environments.
Maybe take a step back and help Chikdten in a different way.
Like take a look at other possible entry roles into Social Work such as Early Help.

I know exactly how you feel.I worked in a care home with young,vulnerable adults.The very few staff who cared for the young people were always shouted down by the not so caring staff and management.You can put your heart and soul into giving the best care possible but you can never change the way these places are run by toxic bullies,penny pinching and cover ups even when you have witnessed and reported abuse.My heart goes out to the people who live at these places as there's no one can protect them.I had to leave as my own mental health began to suffer.

Unfortunately the focus away from the children and onto tick boxing is the same in schools. All about being ofsted ready! Those people should hang their heads in shame for how they are ruining the care of children for their own sense of purpose! And it does create an awful working environment because everyone wants to have their backs in fear. The children are not giving the time and empthy they need anymore.

Are you seeing stuff which requires whistleblowing? If so then please act on it and don’t assume all children’s homes are run this way. Some staff become lazy, jaded etc and a culture of disguised compliance can develop.

If the company are training staff a particular way but it’s not being actioned, why is this? Lack of understanding how to implement the training? Or lack of funding or staff? Can you use your supervision to look at how different the role is from what you expected?

There will always be huge amounts of paperwork in children’s homes as it is tightly regulated and they need to be able to evidence everything to Ofsted. But it should be documenting what is actually happening, not making up some kind of inaccurate picture.

Yes I agree, with the naive bit. How much research did you do before doing this?

No. I've worked in the support & care sector. This is exactly as it is...unfortunately. you are up against the juggernaut of .... im afraid of being sued. Also the calibre of workers in this profession has never been that high. The social sector in GB is on its knees right now. Have you considered working in a more specialised area. Eg: special needs. This area is under less pressure and a more pleasant environment to work in generally speaking. If you don't want to work shifts maybe a Special Ed school? I'm sure someone with your qualifications would find a suitable job in this kind of setting.