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Toxic situation, I am lost

53 replies

Middleware · 16/06/2025 15:59

Hi, our company has recently been taken over and all the management chain above me have been replaced with new people apart from my direct line manager who has been significantly demoted, and by inference, so have I. My job role has gone from being varied and influential and reduced to what was less than half of my role before, although I am very capable in this role and have more than enough to do! My performance reviews have always been excellent and I am well paid in a niche role.

Since the takeover it has been a very chaotic environment to work in with many redundancies and the team on which I work have been very much left to trying to keep things going and firefighting whilst also picking up the slack from losing literally all our colleagues who would previously ’fed’ us work. We have done our best but there are big problems with the company

it has been an extremely difficult working environment for the last 18 months but we have done our best.

About a month ago I was asked by a director, ‘Anna’, to get involved in a project, the first step of which was to briefly meet with other directors and collate their priorities. This is much more akin to my previous job role and I was excited and looking forward to helping and hopefully removing some of the chaos so we as a team could focus. This was an urgent project and by I was asked to move quickly with minimal direction to get this underway.

I spoke to 3 of the directors on individual calls and it all went well.

then I had a call with another 2 directors, let’s call them Brenda and Charles. Charles is in my direct reporting line, Brenda isn’t.

I had not met Brenda so I introduced myself and very briefly outlined my history with the company and said what I was hoping to achieve with this call. As soon as I said what team I was in Brenda started ranting. For context, she is fairly new to the business and orchestrated the exit of my experienced colleagues.

I was told we, as a team, were all meeting up all the time badmouthing the company to customers and leaking confidential information to colleagues who have been made redundant. She said she’d worked with another awful team and she’d heard we were even worse. On the call I said I was sorry, but I didn’t know what she was talking about, but she carried on in a similar vein for about 5 minutes with various accusations about my team. This isn’t true, I have had no contact with my ex colleagues other than going to their leaving do’s.

Following the call, Charles called me to say I was no longer needed on the project. I questioned why he was telling me this, not Anna, and asked if this was down to the perception of my team by Brenda and quoted back some of what she said. And this is the killer, he denied she’d said anything, he literally said it didn’t happen.

He was in the call, he knows he’s lying and he knows I know he’s lying.

My mental health, trust in the company and confidence in my work is now at rock bottom. I don’t want to leave at the moment as I have a lot going on outside of work, I am old, I usually enjoy my job, it is flexible and I am well paid.

Normal me would ask Anna for feedback, but I think that will be seen as trouble making. I feel that if this is how we are perceived then they will try and remove me or make my working life so unbearable that I’ll leave. I wish I had recorded the call - Brenda was so unreasonable that I would have raised a grievance, but if I do they will deny it happened.

What on earth can I do? I feel sick every day coming to work, I am not sleeping, this is going round and round in my head and I often find myself crying or panicking at my desk. Go off sick? Go to HR? Go to Anna? Or just battle on?

OP posts:
Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:03

This is all very odd
but it would seem you do not have the support of the director in this business OP
and that would worry me

Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:05

Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:03

This is all very odd
but it would seem you do not have the support of the director in this business OP
and that would worry me

Yes, that does appear to be the case.

OP posts:
Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:06

It’s not normal is it?

OP posts:
Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:17

what do you mean “normal”?

OP, there will be a huge amount of detail around all this that is missing.

But looking at this face value, you have been taken off a project before it’s even started. I would be concerned that I am not very much on the radar of these team of directors, and not in a good way.

Keep your head down, do your job. Well.

Avidreader12 · 16/06/2025 16:17

In your shoes I wouldn’t go to HR if you are off the project just make sure that Charles has emailed you that you are off it. Written record they asked you to leave would be useful. Regarding Anna you can’t change her perception. Unless the company has direct evidence of you leaking confidential info I wouldn’t give it anymore head space. Toxic environment is not good for your health look for another role if need be although perhaps let things settle for now.

NormaSears · 16/06/2025 16:18

How big is the company and how big was the company it took over?

Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:19

So your line manager said you’re off the project but have zero information as to why?

he was on the call with Brenda?

Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:20

NormaSears · 16/06/2025 16:18

How big is the company and how big was the company it took over?

It’s a big company taken over by a massive company.

OP posts:
Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:20

Avidreader12 · 16/06/2025 16:17

In your shoes I wouldn’t go to HR if you are off the project just make sure that Charles has emailed you that you are off it. Written record they asked you to leave would be useful. Regarding Anna you can’t change her perception. Unless the company has direct evidence of you leaking confidential info I wouldn’t give it anymore head space. Toxic environment is not good for your health look for another role if need be although perhaps let things settle for now.

On what grounds would you go to HR

I am no longer needed for a project.

is that the sum total of the complaint

Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:24

Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:19

So your line manager said you’re off the project but have zero information as to why?

he was on the call with Brenda?

The director in m reporting line told me I was no longer needed. he is not my line manager. He just said they thought they were short of resource but turned out they weren’t so wouldn’t need me. At that point I said this is odd, is it related to what Brenda said.

this project is not directly related to my normal work so my line manager was not involved.

Anna is not someone I know really but she has a good rep. She asked me to take it in because she had heard I would be a good fit reputationallly.

She has not been in contact with me since apart from a brief non commital teams message confirming I’m off the project when I asked her.

OP posts:
Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:25

Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:24

The director in m reporting line told me I was no longer needed. he is not my line manager. He just said they thought they were short of resource but turned out they weren’t so wouldn’t need me. At that point I said this is odd, is it related to what Brenda said.

this project is not directly related to my normal work so my line manager was not involved.

Anna is not someone I know really but she has a good rep. She asked me to take it in because she had heard I would be a good fit reputationallly.

She has not been in contact with me since apart from a brief non commital teams message confirming I’m off the project when I asked her.

And yes, Charles was in the call with Brenda but has denied anything was said. I feel I am being marginalised due to an incorrect perception of my team, not anything I have personally done wrong.

OP posts:
Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:26

So the project isn’t even related to your line of work
and they have said short on resources

Op do not go to HR with this. You have no case

Avidreader12 · 16/06/2025 16:26

Keep a record of Anna taking you off the project. You don’t need to question their reasons in any more detail. Do you day job as best you can.

Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:26

Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:20

On what grounds would you go to HR

I am no longer needed for a project.

is that the sum total of the complaint

My complaint would be that Brenda was saying things about me and my team which are damaging and untrue, and then they denied it was said.

OP posts:
Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:26

Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:25

And yes, Charles was in the call with Brenda but has denied anything was said. I feel I am being marginalised due to an incorrect perception of my team, not anything I have personally done wrong.

Perhaps interpreted it rather differently to you

Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:27

Avidreader12 · 16/06/2025 16:26

Keep a record of Anna taking you off the project. You don’t need to question their reasons in any more detail. Do you day job as best you can.

This

just get your head down op

you’re on the big wigs radar now. You need to do your current job and you need to do it well

Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:27

Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:26

Perhaps interpreted it rather differently to you

Perhaps! It was pretty clear though.

OP posts:
Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:28

Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:26

My complaint would be that Brenda was saying things about me and my team which are damaging and untrue, and then they denied it was said.

Oh don’t be silly

these are directors. They will be able to provide a case against you very easily and so what if Brenda does admit to saying these things.

the fact she thinks them should be your concern

Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:29

Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:27

Perhaps! It was pretty clear though.

And Charles could say the same

but you’re missing the point, even if she did criticise your team, that is completely her prerogative!!

Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:30

I am very much focusing on my day job, working hard and I am very good at it. I am trying not to let it bother me but it has blown my confidence. I don’t know how to behave if that’s how we’re thought of but no one will directly address it. I don’t know where all this has come from. I would appreciate a mature conversation about it all.

OP posts:
Orangemintcream · 16/06/2025 16:32

Well in your shoes I would have dusted off my CV as soon as I was effectively demoted let alone now.

Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:32

Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:30

I am very much focusing on my day job, working hard and I am very good at it. I am trying not to let it bother me but it has blown my confidence. I don’t know how to behave if that’s how we’re thought of but no one will directly address it. I don’t know where all this has come from. I would appreciate a mature conversation about it all.

Well then ask for one

you can say you are concerned about how your team is viewed and wonder if your line manager knows more so that you can address.

if line manager says doesnt know what you’re talking about and all good…then believe it and move on

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 16/06/2025 16:33

Orangemintcream · 16/06/2025 16:32

Well in your shoes I would have dusted off my CV as soon as I was effectively demoted let alone now.

Me too. I think your whole team will be for the chop (unless there's any reason why they can't do that) and you'd be better jumping before you're pushed. The only reason I'd sit tight would be if it would actually suit you better to be made redundant. How long have you been there and what sort of exit package would you be likely to get? Would it be worthwhile?

Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:36

Gingerbis · 16/06/2025 16:32

Well then ask for one

you can say you are concerned about how your team is viewed and wonder if your line manager knows more so that you can address.

if line manager says doesnt know what you’re talking about and all good…then believe it and move on

I have of course spoken to my LM about this. He is aware that the team are viewed badly (himself included), but very much feels we are being scapegoated. He is battling this daily. He is at a loss on what to do about it.

it’s doing me good to hear other viewpoints, thank you.

OP posts:
Middleware · 16/06/2025 16:37

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 16/06/2025 16:33

Me too. I think your whole team will be for the chop (unless there's any reason why they can't do that) and you'd be better jumping before you're pushed. The only reason I'd sit tight would be if it would actually suit you better to be made redundant. How long have you been there and what sort of exit package would you be likely to get? Would it be worthwhile?

Well this is it. I have been here long enough for redundancy to be worthwhile. I am confident we will be gone, but for now I think they don’t like us but they need us.

OP posts: