Need routine for working at home with baby, please!

[BEAUTlFUL]

I know this sounds hopeless, but I have 2 children DS1, 5, and DS2, 3 months and I can't work out a routine so I can work from home, do school-runs and write a book!

I have to deliver the manuscript by end of the year, so I need to find a steady 2-3 hours a day starting now. I also have to fit in everything else - shopping, housework, etc. Gulp.

Please don't tell me it's not possible! But I know lots of you are really clever and organised and are good at this sort of stuff, ie time management. I'm so tired and forgetful after the baby that I just don't know where to start to structure my week.

Any thoughts would be very, very gratefuly received!

You need childcare - and a cleaner if you can afford it.

um

It's not possible.

Sorry!

Could you possibly get some help with the housework stuff, a cleaner for a few hours a week or something, so all you need to do when DS2 is asleep is write?

Other info: DS2 is in a sort of routine, ish, in that he usually feeds at 6am, 9:30am, 1pm, 5pm, 7pm and a dream-feed at 11pm. But these could be restructured if needs be as he is very flexible and most days are different anyway. He sleeps well, usually after the 9:30am feed for an hour, then in the afternoon at some point. Ideally, I'd rather have him awake for the afternoon school run and have his afternoon nap beforehand.

If I could structure his day so he feeds at 3pm that would be great, so DS1 can run around on the playground while I feed his brother.

DH is home at 6pm, and usually does DS1's bath and bedtime. I cook for all of us.

Crap, have I taken on too much? I just think of these wonder-women who write novels (mine is non-fiction and only 40,000 words) by getting up at 4am every morning...

I'd say your best bet for getting a chunk of work done is in the evenings then, if you are lucky enough to have a DH who is home in time to do bathtime for DS1 and be in charge of DS2.

Still don't think it's possible though, however 'good' your children are and however strict a routine you are in.

get a cleaner and get Tesco to deliver

every day after lunch put the laptop in the basket under the pram and push ds2 round town till he falls asleep
go to a cafe and type like mad till either he wakes up or it's time to get ds1 from school

you won't get 2-3 hrs this way but you will get a bit of time, some fresh air, some exercise and a coffee

Can you do it so that you cook dinner during a nap time earlier in the day, then one DH has taken over bed and bath you settle down for 3 hours writing, then join him after that ?

Or Dh has the children at the weekend, and you write solidly then.

Otherwise, sorry, I think you would have to get some childcare.

Writing a book with a three month old...???!!! Good luck!

I would seriously consider getting a childminder or finding a nursery. Or a granny.

Or do what I would do and start the book in November when your little one is a bit older and sleeps more at night!

Maybe on weekends I could batch-cook a load of meals to feed us during week? Then do big stuff like wash floors, etc before I go to bed.

I did controlled crying to 'teach' DD2 to sleep for 2-2.5 hours from 10am each morning when I went back to work. She was 4 months. It was painful but it worked - I worked with her there for a month and then she went to the childminder at 5 months (and continued to have a good long sleep in the morning for another few months). Can you try re-settling your DS2 when he wakes after an hour?

The days I work from home, DD goes to nursery just for the morning (8am until 1pm) - gives me time to get lots done. the rest I do in bits during the afternoon and in the evening.

Hope you find something that works for you. good luck with the book.

If you're going to do this then you need to use EVERY moment you possibly can when the two children are away/asleep to write - no doing chores or errands then, no cleaning, shopping. You need to be able to do all the cooking and cleaning at times when they're awake and you can't write.
A super-dedicated friend found that the best for her was to get up at 4 and work till 6.30 or so - she was far too knackered by the evening to work anyway, so she just went to bed really early.
I think a cleaner and tesco delivery would be better than (younger) childcare at this stage.

I've worked a full time job at home for two years now and had DS2 with me all day until he started school last September and obviously I still have both the DC's with me in the holidays. I'll tell you now it's hard and you can't do everything. In my house it's the housework that goes to pot and I've just had to learn to live with it, although not the embarrassment of unswept floors etc when friends call around for coffee!

What I did when DS2 was at home and toddling about and what I still do in the holidays, is get up at about 5.00 and worked until the DC's get up. Then get them off to school etc, if I was lucky DS2 might have stuck to the telly for 30 mins so I'd work then, he'd get his head down for a nap for an hour in the afternoon and so I'd work then and then both DC's were shoved to bed by about 6.30 so that I could work in the evening and get my work finished. I think I survived on very little sleep until DS2 started at school. Nowadays though, I find it hard in the hols when they're both home and they seem unable to play together without fighting and now they're bigger they refuse to be sent to bed at 6.30 so it's a struggle, but somehow I manage and the work gets done, again though, I don't get much sleep.

Just remember you just can't do everything and if you try you're going to make yourself a nervous wreck.

it is all a con

Zadie Smith's husband sent her off away for 2 weeks to write her book

don't beat yourself up about not being able to do the impossible

God, I'm starting to have a panic attack. I also have other work to do from home, too.

Hi Beautiful! I worked from home from when ds was about 4 months old. Have to say, ds was very placid, obliging baby and made my life much easier as a result!

Only did 2-3 hours a day maximum. It was computer-based work so sometimes he'd be on his rug/in his playpen in the room with me, then I'd do the other 1.5 - 2 hours while he slept in the afternoon. The mornings and late afternoons were spent doing housework/cooking/playgroup etc

Wasn't easy and it takes a lot of discipline. My rule for myself was I got it all done (worky work and housey work) in the day and kept my evenings clear - I can't work in the evenings as my brain is mush by then, and that hour on the sofa with book/crappy tv saved my sanity!

You have to be realistic about what else you let go - can you bear for your house to be a bit less sparkling clean than it usually is? Can you do a batch of cooking one day a week and put some meals in the freezer for the other days, for example?

Can you do the shopping after you take your daughter to school? If so, then you can get that out of the way, get home, do housey stuff the rest of the morning, then work while ds has his afternoon nap, before the school run.

I think it's possible, even if you don't work in the evenings, but you need to be gentle with yourself to start off with. It 's so dependent on your own working methods too - do you need to stare at the page for an hour before you can write anything, or can you get down to it pretty quickly?

So many questions! Sorry for the essay - all I really wanted to do was say that it may be possible, as long as you are realistic about the time you can devote to work, and very disciplined about using the time effectively.

Good luck

I don't think it's possible. I've been trying to write up my phd since ds was born (22 months ago) and have done one and a half chapters in that time. The only reliable time was at night, and I was usually too tired as ds has been an awful sleeper. He also has had stages where he woke every 40 min in the evening. When ds was about 1 he started doing one long midday nap, which gave me some time, but it was never completely reliable. Once he was 8 months I started getting a babysitter 5 hours a week, which is really the only reason I've even got a little bit done.

You lot are so fabulous, you really are. There are some REALLY good tips, and it's lovely to know that other people have gone through this too.

It seems that it's the housework that I'll need help with then... I will get a cleaner to do 2 hours a week or so. I'm hopeless at housework anyway so having it done will help me feel less stressed.

Tesco deliveries sound good, as it will also force me to meal-plan, and if I meal-plan I can then batch-cook on Saturday mornings, which I love doing anyway.

I will do an hour's mindless housey stuff (putting away laundry/straightening up) at 10pm at night. DH can do the bedtime routines, and we'll eat together at 7pm, then I'll work till 10.

I've found I write best in the mornings, between 10--1pm, so I can try to keep DS2 awake during the school run in the morning, so he'll crash out after his 9:30am feed... Then I'll do meal preparation (vegetables, etc) at.. oh, fuck knows, this is all sounding unbearable tbh and I'm seriously thinking of running away to a posh hotel with DS2 and a crate of gin.

it might be worth braving www.flylady.net

I mean she is insane but she can pare down your housekeeping routine

I do v little now and it all seems to work

but she is a bit ott - just nick the system and run

If he sleeps well in the mornings, then write in the mornings, and do housey stuff after lunch. If you can get some writing done first thing when you're fresh, you know it's done and dusted for that day & you have the rest of the day clear.

Tesco deliveries are ace and, like you say, will help meal-planning. Anything you didn't get done in the day you can either do in the evening or...leave till tomorrow/next week/never!

The first thing to go for me was ironing and I've never really seen the need to take it up again since!

blimey, with a bay just 3 months old, beautiful, i think you're fantastic to have got a book deal and writing it..

but, sorry, i work from home, too, and have never been able to do it with a baby in the house. my boys are at school now and for 2 days my dd is with our childminder so in theory i get loads of work done then and fit in bits and pieces as and when i can..

mind you, none of my babies seemed to have regular nap times, so maybe it's possible if they do..
but, well done and good luck!

TBH I think MrsBadger's suggestion is the best and the least stressful. Lug a laptop around with you and type when baby falls asleep.

You could even have spots/coffee places you regularly go to so it becomes routine. Didn't JK Rowkling do it this way?

Evenings are tough because you're so tired and stressed out.

With my 18 month old - who has one long nap a day, I do everything I can to devote myself to her and tire her out in the morning (eg toddler group, the park, even playing in the garde). have lunch. Then I get 1 hr 30 mins when she naps.

But I often end up doing chores because the house is such a mess! I'm thinking of going to a pub in the forest that has free wi-fi - so that I can't think of the dishes....

Oh yes, and try and do the household stuff when baby is awake - even if you have to carry everywhere with a sling.

You can hoover and clean holding a baby, but you can't type holding one....