Need routine for working at home with baby, please!

[BEAUTlFUL]

I know this sounds hopeless, but I have 2 children DS1, 5, and DS2, 3 months and I can't work out a routine so I can work from home, do school-runs and write a book!

I have to deliver the manuscript by end of the year, so I need to find a steady 2-3 hours a day starting now. I also have to fit in everything else - shopping, housework, etc. Gulp.

Please don't tell me it's not possible! But I know lots of you are really clever and organised and are good at this sort of stuff, ie time management. I'm so tired and forgetful after the baby that I just don't know where to start to structure my week.

Any thoughts would be very, very gratefuly received!

I'm back... Just chainsmoked 5 cigarettes in the garden and tried to calm down.

I think it'll be OK, as long as I'm disciplined... Sadly, that does NOT come naturally but I'll have to force myself. Also have to fight off feelings of resentment that come up as soon as I have to get off my arse!

I can't thank all of you enough for your wonderfully helpful suggestions.

STEPFORDWIFE Thanks for your compliment! I was a full-time writer before so it's not like I managed to spit out the baby and launch a new career simultaneously! I'd have been unbearably cocky if that were so.

ANIYAN Thanks for sounding so reassuringly calm and optimistic, like this can actually be done.

CAPPUCCINO Will check out FlyLady, thanks. I have her book somewhere. I seem to collect boks on housework, as if owning a book will magicaly make house tidy itself.

WALKTHEDINOSAUR Good to hear you've managed to do this too, or v similar. You sound organised and efficient, I bet your house looks lovely.

LITTLEFROG You're right, it'll have to be work-only when DS2 is asleep.

STARLIGHTMCCKENZIE Good tip for getting DH to help. Think we'll eat at 7 then I'll pack him off upstairs with the portable TV while I write.

BRAMSHOTT Glad you went through this as well! Gives me hope. I think DS2 could go an extra hour in the morning so I will work on that.

VIVACE and FLOWERYBEANBAG Yes, will get a cleaner!

what sort of writing do you do, beautiful?

sort of self-helpy stuff... not about housework or time-management, though!

Hoovering every day?? Our Hoover has been broken for 3 weeks but, tbh, it hasn't made any difference to my housework routine.

DH does help a lot, but you know what it's like, I have this idea that I should be able to do it all myself to a certain extent. Ugh.

His doing DS1's bedtime is a massive help. I get very tense by 7pm and so tend to rush through the stories and go all shouty if anything happens.

Hiya

Just wanted to say I have a 7 month old and manage to do 15 hours a week of computer based stuff in some ways I am lucky cos DS sleeps really regularly 1 1/2 hrs morning and afternoon he is also very content to play with toys while I work on occasion although I mostly try to work while he is asleep I also often do an hr 7-8 in the evening

The only problem is that you can't compromise on a lot of things, I find myself sighing if a friend pops round or having to reject invitations and yes the house is not as clean as it once was also I feel that I never get any time to myself as come the evening its washing and tidying up etc

Also Data Entry doesn't really require much thought whereas writing does GOOD LUCK and as others have said use your DH to help out, if you're effectively doing 2 jobs its only fair!

Suzi

OOps wanted to say know it will be harder with an older one to look after too!

I meant to reply to you when you first asked this, then got distracted, but here you are again.

I've revised an 80,000 novel in 4 months while being at home - with some substantial rewriting, although dd is a bit older (and so sleeps less).

What worked for me was knowing when I am at my best (I was never good in the evenings and frankly could hardly write a cheque after 7pm these days) and giving myself enough time to get up a head of steam with writing.

Sooo, DD goes to a childminder 2 mornings a week, and I get 3.5 hours of uninterrupted writing time, Tue and Thursday. This keeps me going and keeps my head in it enough. Every other day (including, when I am going for it, Sat and Sun) I write for the two hours of her midday nap.

That is enough to get things done - I waste no time at all now when I could be working, and I can spend time when I am wandering about with the pushchair thinking about the problems and the next bits.

hope this helps - agree with everyone else about the cleaner, but the concentrated working in nap times gave me quite a bit of time to shop/entertain children/etc. I think writing is a bit different, in that you can't be interrupted, or really do it with half an eye on a baby about to stick its fingers into the cat's bum...

I've done it and i think it's possible if your work is PC-based and you don't have to make phone calls etc. Plus, you need long deadlines so that if he children are having a bad day etc you can put the work aside.

I work when DD1 is at nursery (every morning) and i sit on my DD2's bedroom with the laptop and she plays while I work. I also work in the evenings when neccessary and half a day at the weekends. I've done that for over a year now but have found it more and more difficult as DD2 gets older (she's two now - I think working with babies is much easier as they sleep during the day), plus I'm pg again and so find working in the evenings much harder, so I now use a nanny one day a week.

Should add, I don't get a great deal done, but I edit about one novel a month (about 80-100,000 words), so not very different to your work.

Also must add, I have a cleaner for a couple of hours a week as I hate working in a mess! And I buy everything online.

And you must ban MN while working!!

Hi Beautiful

I do some freelance writing from home and I find the only possible way I can do it is in the evenings - and if I am falling behind I ask my mum to look after DS for a day and I blitz it!!!

yes ban MN when in working mode - V important

I've writtena lot of books. You just have to force yourself to get on with it.

I remember one period when I was getting up at 5am on Saturdays to do two hours work (not on a book) before the 5 children woke at 7am for example. My sister always complains about lack of time but you can make more. She goes to bed early. If you're really determined you can sit down at 10pm every night and work for 2 hours, sometimes 3. People do make themselves work like that and it doesn't kill you.

There was also a phase where I looked afte the children on Saturdays when their father worked and he did on Sundays whilst I worked which can add another 16 hours to a working week if you're prepared to work a 16 hour day on Sunday.

i sometimes work at home after ds is in bed but that's really only possible with one baby that sleeps, i think.
assume you dont have grandparents handy to help. could you do childcare swap with another mum? drop yours off with her for a few hours while you type furiously and then do the same for her another day? will be difficult with bfeeding small baby but might be possible when a bit older and stretching longer between feeds.
combine that, snatching time where you can a la mrs badgr, and working weekends while your dh looks after kids might give you enough hours.
not sure who these wonderwomen who get up at 4am to write bestsellers are (xenia obviously excepted). dont beat yourself up about not being able to do that.

You've already had some great tips. I did write with dd1 crawling around although I did used to put the telly on for her(oops, not great parenting) so I could work for an hour or two, then continue into her nap. I also worked with dd2 as a tiny baby in her car seat. However, both times, I had extra help from my mum and my husband on weekends when they would take the children out and leave me, say 6 hours peace and quiet. If you don't have that possibility, then paying for two mornings childcare as someone else suggested is definitely the best option and will get the bulk of it done.

It is possible for deadlines etc, however, it is easy to burn out. I found after two years constantly working every minute that I could whilst looking after children full-time started to take its toll. I felt exhausted and started to run on empty (I was back in full-time work by then). Plus if you work through naps, you start to get over-tired yourself as you are not resting. If it is for a life-or-death/career changing book, fair enough (I did my PhD like this), however, if you intend to work for a long time or want to have more kids, you may have to rethink whether working at that level whilst being a FTM is really practical or desirable for you personally.

I've just realised how horribly ungrateful I must seem! Thank you all SO MUCH for your wonderful advice. yes, i have had some brilliant tips, and exactly the kind I wanted/needed, really good practical, workable ideas.

I wish I hadn't taken it on, tbh. It's not a career-changing book, no. It's just another one, similar to the books I wrote a few years ago. I want to move into fiction. For that, I know I'd find the time a lot more enthusiatically. Stupidly (and unreasonably) I resent having to write this one, despite happily signing up for it and taking the advance.

I will knuckledown, Xenia-style (you are scarily inspiring!), and get this done then have a rethink.

Well, paying the mortgate is still a really noble reason to do the book! But it sounds like this one will have to be for the money and because you are committed, then perhaps a rethink is in order. Perhaps knowing that will help this one go a bit quicker...good luck and let us know how it is going.

Oh, I will. Watch out for threads like, "AIBU... to put DS2 in soundproofed playpen while I write Chapter 7?", etc.