Accuasation

[Anonymoose08]

A few of us girls in the office went out for a girls meal after work hours and this was not paid by our employer we all paid for our own individual meal and drinks. A male colleague has put in a complaint regarding sexual discrimination about us going out for food. This has not been taken any further but found it hard to understand as this was not meant to cause anyone to feel left out but just a group of friends who happen to work together have food outside of our work hours. Just anyone’s thoughts and options would be grateful. 🙏🏼

Is there any back story to this as the claim.of discrimination sounds ridiculous if it was just a few friends in the office going out.

Or is there only you and the others who went on the meal and the male colleague in the office and they feel excluded?

Male entitlement, innit?

So, a group of under 18s from a workplace, who are all friends inside and outside of work, decided to socialise?

I don't see a problem with that.

The guy raising a complaint is unreasonable if it was a social evening amongst friends.

I'm being pedantic btw!

Excluding colleagues can come under bullying but I doubt it in the scenario you describe if it was just a one off and a small group of people. See the ACAS guidance here. https://www.acas.org.uk/bullying-at-work

Is he the only member of the team who wasn’t invited? Or are there other people in your team who also didn’t go?

Employers are now responsible for things that go on during nights out their employees have together, even if not organised by or paid for by work. If you all went out and someone did something inappropriate, you could make a complaint to your employer. But also, people at work form friendships and go out together. It’s a tricky line to walk.

They haven’t upheld his complaint though so ignore him. Don’t bully him or anything but don’t be his friend.

What you do and who you are friends with outside work is up to you 🤷‍♀️

His complaint is ridiculous, unless it’s an event organised through/for work then it’s not excluding anyone.

How many women work in the department? How many men work in it? How many women went out for dinner?

He has a none claim as it was not a work event. If an official work event like a Christmas party, yes the whole team goes.

I have had male colleagues who went on boys drinking sessions. Women were not on the beer WhatsApp group. A manager got married (think hello type wedding) and invited the whole department minus 3 others.

If you organised it at work/ through work channels and excluded him then it could be seen as bullying. Next time arrange it between you as friends and not in work
(or say it's a PMT support group 😉)

He may have fixated on the term 'girls' meal'.

It’s really not that simple anymore. Not with the recent ruling that employees are responsible if employees have a night out and one employee does something inappropriate to another. Even if not organised by work.

It very much can be bullying if an event is organised and they leave someone out, even if it isn’t a work sanctioned event. You just have to be careful.

Was he the only one that wasn't invited. If he was he's maybe got a point.

It would be exactly the same if the person who was left out was another woman.

Well personally I think that's absolutely ridiculous. So your now saying that if I decide to go out for a meal with a couple of work colleagues I have to invite the whole office so that no one feels bullied ????

If there are 10 people in the office, 9 of whom are women, and you only invite the women - could be bullying, could be sexism. Could be both. Could be neither. But the possibilities exist, in law.

I’m not saying it. Employment law allows for it. You have to be careful. If you exclude one person, it could be bullying. If you exclude the only man, it could be discrimination.

You're not saying what?

She is not saying her opinion. She is talking about employment law.

@AgnesX
Sorry; meant to quote the post below yours!

This was meant for @Ilikewinter

Not on a social night out it’s not.

If the group constantly went for lunch & excluded the male he might have grounds for a complaint. Not on a social night out, not organised or paid for by the employer.

That’s not true. It would support a bullying claim (alongside other behaviours).

Are you a lawyer? Or an HR professional? Because it seems like you don't know what you're talking about.

This has to be a joke

A few girls from work are always meeting up.

It's nothing to do with anyone else who is mates with who at work.

He probably just wanted to go- cos he thought he would have a better chance at getting date with one of the girls. Or wants to ask one of them out and thinks if he forces himself on the next outing he'll get a date.