I’m getting managed out. Can I do anything, even for my own sanity?

[Anxiety17]

Name change here because I’m anxious about all of this.

im mid management level in a global company - management of the service rather than a people manager, if that makes sense, but seniority wise sitting at second in command of the team in the UK with three new employees under me.

been at the company four years, first three I absolutely flew - promoted, manager respected me, lots of responsibly etc.

got a new manager last year and me and them do not gel. Think very different viewpoints on life and also to be honest I think they were intimidated by me because I know the company and systems inside out. I’ve tried to remain cordial, polite, friendly at all times - I respect that they are above me. But there’s holes in their work, changing processes but not knowing the reason we do them etc.

I was promised progression at the start of the year in an area of responsibility but this was taken away and now slowly each of my responsibilities are getting removed too. I enjoy being under pressure and doing a lot, and I have seen this technique with colleagues to “manage them out”. It seems the new manager wants a fresh start and new team of more junior staff. I was concerned about redundancy but not so much now - at least I’d get a payout. But I’m concerned my life is getting made more and more difficult to make me leave.

a lot of weird happenings - eg edited messages on slack after one thing was requested and delivered in a certain way. Power plays like hyping up very normal work critique to something which feels insane (“you may want to sit down whilst I deliver this news”) etc, feeding back to me that “no one likes me”.

I’ve tried to go above but because this manager was a high profile hire, above him just protect him.

Unsure what to do. Unions not recognised, we don’t have a HR dept really and I’m worried about it becoming so unbearable. Am applying elsewhere but progress is slow for this type of role. Am writing down any conversations had as a log.

anyone been through similar?

Going above him was probably not a good idea - they are meant to largely support him.

You ought to speak to your manager first, something along the lines of you want more responsibility and to be given more tasks and you want to support etc etc.

If that does not work, find another job. Work to live else you will find working for someone else is full of disappointments!

Build the case against the manager anywhere and with anything that he is doing that is ethically wrong. Document everything. Hopefully, you will not need this, but gather the data just in case.

Do you have anyone at the company that you trust? Are there other departments that you can transfer to within the company?

Your choices are to fight or to let go. A few years ago I tried to fight (bringing in my union and making lists of all the little things which were done to try to break me down and sharing them with more senior staff) but it wasn’t working and I was beginning to doubt my own experiences - so I left, with an agreed payout. Best thing I ever did. It prompted me to get a new job in a much more happy place. I no longer doubt my sanity and I only wish I’d got out of there sooner. For me it wasn’t worth the fight.
You may be different of course: you may have more strength for the fight than me. Good luck whichever way you choose.

Document absolutley everything. Keep it in a file saved down locally vs on shared drives. Unless there's another manager that you can transfer to working under, this is going to get really unbearable and you're going to be forced out/eventually be fired. If you have the laundry list of issues supporting you, you might get a payout on the way, but sitting through this is going to do a number on your mental health, and you should start looking at jobs regardless. You might find something better paying and working with someone you get on with much better.

I would start aggressively applying for other jobs in your industry.

Document everything - including any dodgy in person meetings. If you write down what happened in the meeting and then email the details to yourself it will be time stamped close to when it happened and will be seen as quite a reliable record if you get into any dispute.

But the best advice imo is to find a better role elsewhere.

If you are in a union they can help you.

Already looking at jobs and appreciate it the advice - going to get out asap but just if it becomes unbearable along the way.

with regards to going above - I was asked into a meeting and it was prodded out of me. I didn’t say anything disrespectful etc, just that I thought we were having communication issues and I was in part responsible (I’m not).

fwiw he made my colleague who had been there longer than me redundant at the start of the year - she was slightly below me in level but to be honest it ooosk like he wanted a fresh team. Trying to leave asap and I don’t think I’m going to be able to fight it, even with the detailed notes

Been there, got the scars. (But sadly not the redundancy payment - I found a new job and left before they could get rid of me and I didn't have the nouce or balls at the time to manage the situation other than fleeing to a better place).

I'd echo above - look for a new job, document everything, record achievements, solicit praise from colleagues/clients/people who are not your manager. Recognise this is an unfortunate - it's-you-not-me situation and take your talents elsewhere.

I feel so annoyed because I’ve worked so hard and everything was going well until this year - honestly was really well respected and thought of. I just can’t get out from under this person

Wondering if it would work in my favour to confront it and say “I know I’m getting managed out, give me a package and I’ll go now”

I've seen it happen to other people. Managers want folk they have appointed or even sometimes brought in from their old workplace. If you aren't getting support from above not sure there is really anything you can do. Maybe ask to move departments. You won't get anywhere under this manager.

Document everything. Keep records.
Speak to your union

Considered a dept move but for the field it’s in it would still be working closely with said manager and also the umbrella manager

while you're still there, make sure to download and print copies of all appraisals, any good emails (saying how good you are etc) and so on.

Just in case. And speak to your union about the best way to approach "I'm being managed out, i get that managers want to appoint their own staff so all good - what will you give me to leave" discussion.

That's what I would do, personally. Will save a lot of stress and you can leave with some money behind you and an agreed reference.

Is there a grievance policy? If so, is there something concrete you cold raise a grievance about?

For example something you were promised that was withdrawn or a specific incident.

It could help... but worst case could bring you closer to the sort of settlement you're already thinking about.

This sounds like I’m making it up, but the system is so incestuous that we don’t really have a HR dept that has any teeth, or that isn’t enmeshed with my own management on a pally basis. A formal grievance would probably only make my life harder.

stuck at the minute not knowing if I should make it clear I’m unhappy, or slap a smile on and pretend they aren’t getting to me

I would treat it like a game - you know what they’re up to and that they can’t sack you overnight. So, whilst they’re spinning their tyres on PIPs and meetings, you a) collect your evidence for when it’s negotiation time and b) look for another job.

You have the power here.

I’d do that. If no thing else it’ll put a spotlight on the managers behaviour.

Absolutely tell them you know what is happening. Explain you have seen it do e before and recognise the signs. That you would rather they were straight with you as you don't want to stay where you are not wanted and will go if they make you an offer but if they want you to stay then they need to give you either your old areas of responsibility back or something else.

This happened to me last year. I realised that the best thing for me would be for them to pull the plug on me and give me a payout so I stayed quiet, jazzed up my LinkedIn and started applying for other roles. Surprise surprise about two mo the later they offered me 5 months salary to go quietly. Which I did. About ten mins later there was a new guy in my role who was best friends with the CEO. It’s so depressing but you can’t get out of it once the situation is there. I would recommend you start quietly applying elsewhere but hold out for a pay out. Don’t let them know you are willing to go as they’ll feel able to reduce the payout.

Yes this is what I’m thinking - I’ve started putting feelers out in my networks. I don’t know if I could confront it to speed up a payout or whether I should hang tight, keep my kpis as strong as possible and sit it out

I still think you should consider a grievance.

Not because I think it will be effective on sorting the issues you have.

But because it makes it clear you won't be going quietly and it may push things to the next stage ie agreeing a settlement with a reference.

Put it this way. You're worried a grievance would make things worse. How? It sounds horrible already.

Could the fear of finding themselves in court motivate them ?

I would sit it out and wait for the offer. You could go down the constructive dismal route but it would no doubt be very long drawn out and it may not go in your favour.
Thinking through with no one to talk to above this character and no HR puts you a very difficult position and you are quite rightly looking at other jobs this may well your only get out of jail card!