No childcare on work day

ssunflowers · 2025-05-12T13:58:36+00:00

Any advice at all would be appreciated. Aside from my usual week days, I’ve been on a rota to work alternate Saturdays covering an office since going back to work after having my first DD. MIL has been our childcare for these Saturdays. She has now told my DP she won’t be having our daughter on these Saturdays anymore. She’s planning on moving 5 hours away this year, so I’ve known this has been coming but as I’m due on mat leave in September for DD2, I haven’t given too much thought to it. I’ve told my bosses of my situation and that I have no childcare alternatives. They’ve simply said they don’t know what to suggest and said maybe I should look into a childminder on those Saturdays. I know alot of people that use childminders but I’m not comfortable with it seeing as she will only be there one day every other weekend. DD won’t be familiar with a childminder and isn’t the type of toddler than can be left with anyone as she gets very upset. Saturday is the only day of the week DP is required to work in the shop he works out of and he earns £350-£500 on a Saturday so there’s no way we’re losing that income. Basically, what I’m asking is do I have any leg to stand on? What do i do!!

Lovelysummerdays · 12/05/2025 15:02

Well you tell them you can’t work Saturdays and they can possibly let you go to recruit someone who can. Maybe they can redo the rota but I’d expect pushback from whoever gets landed with every Saturday. You get a babysitter/ nanny or pay a childminder.

BrucesTooth · 12/05/2025 15:02

I'd suggest you find a childminder/nanny/ babysitter/family friend you can pay now and start getting her used to them asap so that when you need to leave her with them she will be happy. That's pretty normal for settling into a childcare setting/with a provider which is what you need. The alternative is for you or your DP to find a new job that does not require that day.

RedSkyDelights · 12/05/2025 15:02

What leg to stand on are you thinking about? You took the job knowing the conditions and they have not changed.

You need to look into alternate childcare - someone DD knows if you think she won't respond well to a new childminder (can you use whoever normally looks after her during the week?) or see if you and DH can stretch your annual leave to cover. Or you could start your maternity leave early? or resign?

minipie · 12/05/2025 15:05

What childcare do you use Mon-Fri? If it’s a nursery might there be someone working there who might want the income and cover these Saturdays? Maybe a couple of people if they don’t want to do every other week? Then at least it’s someone familiar to DD.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 12/05/2025 15:07

You need a plan to get you to when your maternity leave starts then review. Look at what their parental leave policy is also, maybe use that if you can, or holidays.

TheMeasure · 12/05/2025 15:09

But you do have a childcare option. You just don't particularly like it.
Get your dd used to the childminder you mentioned and do the job you're being paid to do. It's only until your maternity leave starts.

MumChp · 12/05/2025 15:11

Childminder/babysitter/nanny
or no job. Like the rest of us tbh.

PersephonesPomegranate · 12/05/2025 15:15

Are you contracted to work these Saturdays or is it picking up an extra shift/ helping out that's become the status quo?

If you aren't contracted to do it, tell them that it's no longer suitable and you need to drop these days. Perhaps you could offer to do the Sundays instead, if you wish to be helpful.

If you are contracted to do them and childcare genuinely isn't feasible, I'd probably look at going off sick until maternity leave starts. Depends on what your contract states about sickness, though as it's far from ideal.

Is there no way your MIL can stick with the current arrangement for another few months?

MumChp · 12/05/2025 15:17

PersephonesPomegranate · 12/05/2025 15:15

Are you contracted to work these Saturdays or is it picking up an extra shift/ helping out that's become the status quo?

If you aren't contracted to do it, tell them that it's no longer suitable and you need to drop these days. Perhaps you could offer to do the Sundays instead, if you wish to be helpful.

If you are contracted to do them and childcare genuinely isn't feasible, I'd probably look at going off sick until maternity leave starts. Depends on what your contract states about sickness, though as it's far from ideal.

Is there no way your MIL can stick with the current arrangement for another few months?

But she isn't sick?

skinnyoptionsonly · 12/05/2025 15:21

Wow no one wants to put their child in child care but the rest of us have to / have had to. It’s sucks but it’s necessary.

your child will pick up your feelings about a childminder m if you don’t make it a positive thing.

in your shoes, I’ll be looking for a student studying early years looking for extra hours at the weekend, Then they could also be on hand for babysitting as and when you need it.
Otherwise, the same logic applies to getting a babysitter surely child won’t like it

I’m not saying the stuff is easy. I was probably the same as you. But in my experience, suck it up

PersephonesPomegranate · 12/05/2025 15:28

MumChp · 12/05/2025 15:17

But she isn't sick?

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Obviously - I can read. But she's not going to resign from a job three months before she starts maternity and leave herself screwed for the next year, or more. Although in Mumsnet world everyone would have you believe they have the highest of morals and never make any selfish decisions for the sake of their own wellbeing.

I can assure you that over here in the real world many people would choose some sick leave over voluntary unemployment during one of the most stressful times of their life, alongside a cost of living crisis.

The company could work with her to drop the Saturday shifts and she wouldn't have to be worrying like she is...but if they can't - or won't - help her, then it's absolutely reasonable that the OP might end up off sick with stress, legitimately.

MumChp · 12/05/2025 15:29

PersephonesPomegranate · 12/05/2025 15:28

Obviously - I can read. But she's not going to resign from a job three months before she starts maternity and leave herself screwed for the next year, or more. Although in Mumsnet world everyone would have you believe they have the highest of morals and never make any selfish decisions for the sake of their own wellbeing.

I can assure you that over here in the real world many people would choose some sick leave over voluntary unemployment during one of the most stressful times of their life, alongside a cost of living crisis.

The company could work with her to drop the Saturday shifts and she wouldn't have to be worrying like she is...but if they can't - or won't - help her, then it's absolutely reasonable that the OP might end up off sick with stress, legitimately.

Show quote history

We all have to sort childcare... No, wait we just called in sick.

PersephonesPomegranate · 12/05/2025 15:39

MumChp · 12/05/2025 15:29

We all have to sort childcare... No, wait we just called in sick.

Show quote history

Ah well, if people want to be obtuse and pretend like people never phone in sick because of childcare issues or various other things associated with being a parent, then so be it.

If the OP wasn't going on maternity leave soon, then obviously it wouldn't be a suggestion. But yeah, probably better that she just resigns and she can go on benefits for the foreseeable future. We all know how much the Mumsnet elite -who never do anything wrong but enjoy judging the less fortunate - love it when people are on benefits 🙄

RedSkyDelights · 12/05/2025 15:52

The company could work with her to drop the Saturday shifts and she wouldn't have to be worrying like she is...but if they can't - or won't - help her, then it's absolutely reasonable that the OP might end up off sick with stress, legitimately.

Has OP officially requested not to work Saturdays, I wonder?
That's the way to get it formally assessed.

Assuming she wants to come back after maternity leave, she needs to be professional about this. She can't just be sick for ever.

Bubblewrapper · 12/05/2025 15:54

Not wanting to employ a childminder is not a sufficient reason op

rubyslippers · 12/05/2025 15:59

get her used to a childminder now?

MNpenisadvisor · 12/05/2025 16:04

Pay for childcare

arethereanyleftatall · 12/05/2025 16:06

What do you actually mean by ‘no childcare’ ?!?

you seem to be saying that your current free childcare is coming to an end and that your employers should work around that. Which is super super strange. do you think the other billions of parents who work, get their shifts switched around so that they have absolutely no inconvenience?

also - what shop pays £500 per day to work in it?

arethereanyleftatall · 12/05/2025 16:08

‘ I'd probably look at going off sick until maternity leave starts. Depends on what your contract states about sickness, though as it's far from ideal.’

wtaf?!? Do you genuinely think fraudulently pretending to be sick is a good idea?!

arethereanyleftatall · 12/05/2025 16:10

PersephonesPomegranate · 12/05/2025 15:28

Obviously - I can read. But she's not going to resign from a job three months before she starts maternity and leave herself screwed for the next year, or more. Although in Mumsnet world everyone would have you believe they have the highest of morals and never make any selfish decisions for the sake of their own wellbeing.

I can assure you that over here in the real world many people would choose some sick leave over voluntary unemployment during one of the most stressful times of their life, alongside a cost of living crisis.

The company could work with her to drop the Saturday shifts and she wouldn't have to be worrying like she is...but if they can't - or won't - help her, then it's absolutely reasonable that the OP might end up off sick with stress, legitimately.

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wow. My jaw is on the floor as I continue reading these posts!! I never considered not outright stealing off a company to be ‘high morals’.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/05/2025 16:12

What leg to stand on are you thinking about? You took the job knowing the conditions and they have not changed

I thought the same, but then I'm not clear either on what the point was in even mentioning this to the employer when childcare isn't their responsibility

As PPs have said, a plan's needed to get tthe child used to being cared for now

Bubblewrapper · 12/05/2025 16:13

PersephonesPomegranate · 12/05/2025 15:39

Ah well, if people want to be obtuse and pretend like people never phone in sick because of childcare issues or various other things associated with being a parent, then so be it.

If the OP wasn't going on maternity leave soon, then obviously it wouldn't be a suggestion. But yeah, probably better that she just resigns and she can go on benefits for the foreseeable future. We all know how much the Mumsnet elite -who never do anything wrong but enjoy judging the less fortunate - love it when people are on benefits 🙄

Show quote history

You aren’t suggesting phoning in sick as a one off are you @PersephonesPomegranate

BrightLightTonight · 12/05/2025 16:13

Not sure if I am being stupid, but why can’t you OH look after your DC?

Bubblewrapper · 12/05/2025 16:13

Mat leave is not “soon”

4 Months away @PersephonesPomegranate

Upsetbetty · 12/05/2025 16:14

YOU need to make alternate arrangements…this is not your employers problem to fix for you…