No childcare on work day

[ssunflowers]

Any advice at all would be appreciated. Aside from my usual week days, I’ve been on a rota to work alternate Saturdays covering an office since going back to work after having my first DD. MIL has been our childcare for these Saturdays. She has now told my DP she won’t be having our daughter on these Saturdays anymore. She’s planning on moving 5 hours away this year, so I’ve known this has been coming but as I’m due on mat leave in September for DD2, I haven’t given too much thought to it.

I’ve told my bosses of my situation and that I have no childcare alternatives. They’ve simply said they don’t know what to suggest and said maybe I should look into a childminder on those Saturdays. I know alot of people that use childminders but I’m not comfortable with it seeing as she will only be there one day every other weekend. DD won’t be familiar with a childminder and isn’t the type of toddler than can be left with anyone as she gets very upset. Saturday is the only day of the week DP is required to work in the shop he works out of and he earns £350-£500 on a Saturday so there’s no way we’re losing that income.

Basically, what I’m asking is do I have any leg to stand on? What do i do!!

do you think the problem came to light, i had the initial
conversation with my manager and came s t r a i g h t to mumsnet?

the comments answered what I needed in that there’s nothing I can particularly do, I was worried and spoke to my manager again who had been having conversations in the meantime.

Did they change the conditions of your job whilst you were on mat leave the first time? Because I think that’s the only leg you have to stand on, otherwise you need to find childcare or accept they may let you go.
would anyone else at work cover your shift for the extra pay? Obviously you’d lose money then and your employer would have to agree to it.

I understand your husband makes a lot on Saturdays but is it worth losing your entire salary if you’re let go? Can he kiss a few until you’re on mat leave?

sure op, sure 😂

Bosses go from suck it up
to no problem we’ll sort this
just in an couple of hours

fact it… you’re arguing that all sorted, but given it’s not… you’re actually still in the predicament. So you’ll have to change your user name and start another thread asking the same question!

Your original messagd sounded (“leg to stand on”) as though you were looking for a way to leverage your employer into letting you off the Saturdays. I think it was that element people reacted badly to. Possibly you did not intend that.

What is your problem? You seem strangely obsessed with these very minor details. Would you like a copy of my call log? Would that help you sleep at night?

Yeah I actually have a completely different job to the one I had before my first mat leave and I never signed a new contract on returning. I’m trying to work DPs diary so he can move some clients but problem is a lot of them have already paid in full. I’ve got one day covered so far, I’m going to have to do my best to muddle through until they have cover x

As I say OP, you’re still in the predicament

Definitely didn’t mean it in that way but can see how that comes across to some

I’m completely aware of that?

I’d try and find someone in year 12/13 (ie 17/18 years old). My older DC would have loved a Saturday job like that whilst at school. You could use them for occasional babysitting during the week as well. Ask around locally for someone with babysitting experience and interview them, check they interact well with your child. Yes it will cost circa £10 a hour but might be hard to find a Saturday childminder.

@Bubblewrapper you sound like a real twat tbh. Gleeful because someone has a childcare problem. Get a life!

Have a look for local nanny/childminder/childcare Facebook page and post on there. You might find someone there looking for some extra hours.

Bubble and Sitters.co.uk are worth a go too.

You'll probably find your child settles better if you can find someone to have them at yours so that it is a familiar environment.

Any chance of finding another parent you can do a childcare swap with?

I doubt many parents would be willing to give up their Saturdays for many people Saturday is a family day

So this isn't your day 2 day job. This is to prevent a different office having to work every other Saturday.

Frankly that feels like their problem to solve with the staff at their office, not forcing you into it.

What does your original contract say about weekends? If it is not included then personally I would put it in writing including what you agreed to, advise them that you will continue for 8/10/12 weeks whatever you feel is reasonable but that once that time is up you will no longer be able to facilitate the saturday.

So is it just the summer holidays you need to cover? If so there may be some people available for those Saturdays who wouldn’t be at other times - uni students or people who work on schools or school nurseries.

I think you need to get over the fact she’ll only see this person once a fortnight, if she had a lovely Auntie who would take her once a fortnight that would be ok wouldn’t it? Obviously ideally you will have a few shorter sessions first (like babysitting) for them to get to know each other.

I was thinking specifically of parents with a similar weekend working requirement who are also struggling. Although personally I'd happily help a friend out once a fortnight for the next few months.

But by law they should consider your situation in regards to childcare when you come back from maternity leave...Those who know more than me, am I making this up?

I think you're making it up.

They do have to give consideration to a flexible working request. You don't need to be a parent to make such a request.

They don't have to agree to such a request if they can't make it work for their business. If they refuse the request, they will need to provide a justification for this.

It's MN that doesn't make any difference, not sure ehat leg there is to stand on you are choosing not to do something that you can do

What law?

Does your toddler go to nursery at all? Some of the staff will offer babysitting outside of nursery times; would be someone familiar to toddler x

No. Not at all. Your employer has zero responsibility to pay attention to your childcare issues and and you are not automatically entitled to any extra consideration.

She can make a flexible working request, like every other employee has the right to do. She doesn’t need to give the reason; childcare makes no difference. They must consider it and can only turn it down due to specific reasons of business need.

And her husband. He works Saturdays so is equally stuck for childcare those days.

OP, I think you and your DH should check apps like sitter or bubble. Or speak to local parents. Do you have other relatives around? There will be a solution for you.

I'm going to ignore all the noise around attitudes because I'm not sure it's helpful. Obviously, getting fewer saturdays is the best option but in that absence, these are the things I would be considering:

1 Other family who could work with you to rejig schedules (probably less possible)
2 A baby sitter who would come and look after her in your home - probably expensive but least disruptive
3 Friends you could do a childcare swap with ie family x has your DD for the day with their DC and then you reciprocate by taking their DC the following week (or at a time convenient to them) to facilitate their working/attendance at an event etc.
4 See if it's possible to work from home for some or all of the Saturday and accept your DD gets WAY too much screen time.

Or some combination - eg you agree to do a half day and organise a playdate for her over the morning and then you reciprocate with a playdate for their child at a later date.

Some people are trying to pick holes in @ssunflowers account of how her employer has responded.

I read her OP as them expressing puzzlement or lacking knowledge of how to solve the problem, not ‘like it or else’. Obviously they weren’t to know that her MIL is moving and also stopping childcare, so the OP saying that she doesn’t have childcare took them by surprise. But now they have thought about it a bit and are seeing what can be done.

It seems a perfectly normal pattern of human behaviour and not a basis upon which to be casting doubt on the OP.

OP, it might also be useful to think ahead to when you return to work after mat leave. If you can line someone up now for adhoc childcare, they can only be useful in future.

I found a lovely retired lady after I had to miss a job interview, due to all my usual childcare options being unavailable.