I've upset a colleague

[Amoneyone]

And I feel dreadful about it. I need some advice on how to deal with it.

There isn't much of a backstory really - me and the person I have upset have been working under the same line manager for the past 18 months on a project with a couple of other teams. I felt we have got along.

Our line manager left a couple of weeks ago and they haven't been replaced. We are a bit rudderless as the line manager divvied up tasks, led meetings and did the general project management etc. and now we are winging it. Sod's Law also means the project is it a critical point and we have a massive deadline at the end of the month.

I am older than colleague but we are the same grade. Not sure if that means I am seen as more senior but the other teams have been coming to me/ asking me questions / pushing work onto me and tbh I am under a lot of pressure. I suspect it is also because I am a "doer" but colleague generally sits back. I suck at saying no.

I work part time (I finish at 3pm) and I have a funeral on Monday (leaving tonight for the weekend to stay with family pre funeral) so not back until Tuesday. At 2.30 I was asked to deal with something urgent. Colleague had taken a late lunch so I started working on it, sent them a teams message saying I was doing what I could on it but could they please pick it up. I worked until I had to leave to get my DC from school then emailed the other team with what I had done and said I had asked X to deal with it because I am away until Tuesday.

I got back from the school run and quickly checked my messages because I wanted to make sure colleague was ok with what I had done so far.

There was just an email saying that I should never delegate work to them on an email with other teams and that we are peers (their emphasis). That I should have waited for them to agree to pick it up first.

My initial reaction is that this is a massive overreaction but now I am questioning everything, scoured our teams chat in case I have had a habit of doing it (unintentionally, I thought we were a team). I don't think I do.
I am so upset that they clearly think I am trying to usurp them or undermine them.
i started typing a response but decided to leave it for now.

I think I will call them on Tuesday instead (we work in different offices) do you think that is the right way to go?

I can understand why you did it OP, you were under a lot of pressure.
I do think your colleague is right to be annoyed though, you have no idea of his own commitments for that day.
Have you spoken to your manager about your workload?

What a precious little so and so. I presume you do the same job? So not like you’ve asked him to step outside of role? I also presume he may be aware of the circumstances of your leave and showed little to no compassion

when I am off, I am the senior in my time. I write an email titled handover. I list out everything that needs to be done and assign people to the task.

I am also bad at saying no.

I would absolutely not be apologising to this boy, not a man, clearly he has a strong sense of self importance. Tbh I’d be having a chat with my line manager about his email.

ironic he thinks he can tell you want you can and can’t do but not ok for you, dick!