Please Share Complaints Made About You

[SallySummerPop]

Hi,

I'm really sad that I've received a complaint against me today. Someone had complained that I lacked empathy in a meeting about their health. I feel others emotions and I am very empathetic but I struggle socially and I'm very aware of it, when I heard the complaint, it made me really punish myself and question if I'm right for the role. At the time of this meeting I was going through a really hard time mentally and so was probably being too process driven and not as sympathetic as I could have been but I meant well. Please share complaints you've received so I know I'm not the only one?

About 25 years ago, I got a complaint of sexual harassment against me, from a teenager who'd come to do work experience. My boss was very apologetic as he went through then disciplinary procedure. I work in construction, it was a very mild remark, but yes, it's not a race to the bottom.

My manager told me a few months ago I spend too much time talking on the phone with bereaved parents.

I am their first port of call when their child dies in the area I work in. Expected or unexpected deaths are both dealt with by me. I take about 45 mins to an hour to explain to them the process of the death certificate and any death investigations we might need to do, I sign post to any charities that may help, bursaries, counselling etc

She said I should just tell them I don't know what the process is but that someone will contact them in due course, and that I should spend less than 10 mins per family per phone call.

I went on annual leave soon after and she took over my role for 1 week and did just that. The amount of complaints I came off annual leave to deal with was astronomical.

She was reprimanded by her manager and the director of the area we work in. I just sent her manager the email chain we had where she insisted she could do my job better and more efficiently than me.

Silly hint

That last 1 is brilliant

I had a manager complain to me that by working loads of unpaid overtime and attempting to cover the work of a colleague who was on long term sick leave, I was hiding the fact that we were understaffed. He of course was the one not sorting out the workload issue.

In the mid 90s a colleague had a mixed race baby. A few months later she brought the baby into work for us all to see. I commented how beautiful the baby was, saying she had the most beautiful skin and a beautiful colour. Being of celtic origin i am always envious of anyone with sunkissed and upward skin !! Because of my comment i was accused of being racist by another colleague, who, the week before had called me a milk bottle after I had come back from a beach holiday as white as I had left. 👻I pointed out that my comment was entirely complimentary where hers had been a bit nasty. Nothing more was said.

I had a complaint against me once for asking "so how wpuld you like me to solve this?"

This after offering 3 solutions to a problem (theirs btw!) for a client all of which went above and beyond what we needed to provide (what we were providing already was perfectly within the ts and cs.

Apparently I should have figured out myself how to solve it and not offered alternative solutions that weren't acceptable and should have given them what they first asked for because that's what they wanted - despite it being impossible!

I worked in a large organisation (thousands of people) and one day all staff got an email about a new women’s network that was being set up, I suggested to a “friend” that we could join. She asked me what the new network’s policy on intersectionality was and I said I didn’t know - I didn’t know the organisers - but maybe she could email them and ask. She made a complaint to our manager that I was racist! I’m still not sure how that was supposed to work. Luckily it turned out that she was renowned for making bullshit complaints and they didn’t even bother me with it. It was sad though.

I’ve also had the same one as a PP - being complained about for correcting someone’s work when that was my actual job. The person who made that complaint also complained that I and another colleague were coordinating our toilet breaks (for what nefarious purpose I don’t know). We worked in an office (no customers) and occasionally during a long project meeting we’d break for five minutes and get a coffee/go to the loo. Crime of the century 😅

We need a 🤬 react button. Unbelievable.

I caught a girl out in a lie that affected me so I pulled her up on it, I was obviously furious for a few days and didn't want to speak to her at all.

She complained to anyone who would listen that I was bullying her, and then her MOTHER made a complaint against me to the company. We were in our early 30s.

I literally had to point out that while I had located research on why Autistic individuals may struggle with telephone communication. I could not locate any research on why a deaf individual would struggle with verbal telephone calls.

I'm so sorry you met such a twat but what a brilliant response. So collected and that one sentence speaks about a thousand truths.

Retail is the best for this. I've been told I work too fast (putting stuff through the till faster than they can pack their bags - I did offer to pack for them but they had 'standards', and I really didn't mind how long they took to pack), and once that I was 'rude' because I had to make them wait so that a manager could bring a key down to the till for me to unlock what they wanted - they thought, I think, that I was lying about not having a key myself and just wanted to make them wait. While they rolled their eyes at each other as if I were an idiot.

All in all not too bad for ten years though!

Decades ago a close colleague put in a greivance to say I was bullying her. There were some spurious examples of me changing file names and organising information (a massive joint project). She then resigned at a crucial time for the organisation. She ten went around telling colleagues I'd bullied her. I just rode it out and let her leave, was too busy getting the job in hand done.
I think she thought leadership would not want her to leave. Wrong!

OP, there are an increasing number of people for whom no amount of empathy and sympathy will ever be enough. They use their grief/ stress/ depression as weapons in their fight to get their own way and it sounds as if they're doing it to you here and you're rolling over on your back and beating yourself up. Which is giving them the outcome they want.

Recognise this behaviour for what it is. Read your company policy and staff handbook and make sure you are following procedures. If necessarily kick this upwards to another manager and ask for help in managing things. You won't help the situation by tripping over yourself in your desire to be super-empathetic.

Complaints against me? There was a time I made an appointment with the manager of a care home where my MIL was living in the hope of sorting out a number of concerns, a couple of them serious. I'd approached other staff and had got nowhere. I put on my best reasonable, calm front and listed the issues that were worrying us. She glared at me. At the end she picked up my letter of concern with a disbelieving frown and started reading bits back to me. Regarding one point, about making sure MIL was wearing her own underwear and clothing, she sighed very deeply. I said, calmly, 'I think if it was your mother you'd want the same for her, surely?' She burst into tears and started ranting at me that her mother had been dead for years and I was not to mention her, then told me I was a bully and I needed to leave the premises now.

When I was a 15 year old waitress at a pizza restaurant I asked a family if everything was ok without meal and the man said yes apart from the fact our waitress has a face like a slapped arse. I wish now I’d told my manager but I was absolutely mortified (I was painfully shy) and just froze.

I was working on a project once with an external group in the US who didn’t have a clue about how we ran things in the EU and were a nightmare in general. They wanted to create a newsletter and mention some of our external top performers, I merely pointed out that I would just need to request their permission first to be named (our process at the time). The next day I came in to a hideous email thread where their senior managers had copied in a multiple VPs on my side asking who the hell was I and what a ridiculous thing to suggest I was quite new and really upset by it but my manager just told me to ignore them and they all knew they were idiots. I will never understand why they went so crazy over such a minor thing.

I want to know the joke now!!

Complaint from colleague that I followed policy as written rather than make it up as I went along (as she did). This highlighted what she was doing so she unfriended me on Facebook in addition to complaining to my line manager. I fortunately no longer work there.
At the same place, a member of my team said my English spelling and grammar was too accurate and referred to me as 'dictionary corner' .

Typical, people who dish it out often can't take it back. Good for you!

I had a complaint from a student that I told them a degree isn't a paint by numbers course and we won't be issuing step by step instructions on how to achieve a first class degree. They have to put some effort in to figure it out themselves and maybe, shock horror, might even need to work some evenings and weekends if they want high grades.

I found out today that a younger junior colleague who I've took under my wing a bit (in uk, geographically close to me) complained to her line manager (overseas) that the work i gave her - as requested by her manager and whole team - wasnt worth doing, even though i set it for her own development, because apparently "chatGPT could just do that for you".
I'm stunned. Her manager and I both been laughing in bewilderment that she's complaining about time for personal development and talking herself out of a job because she's convincing us to replace her with AI....
Hope you feel better OP, these things happen, try not to take it to heart 💐

This is such good advice. And Being empathetic whilst nice in the moment doesn’t actually achieve anything in my opinion. What was the outcome for the person of this supposed lack of empathy?

I used to work in a pub, I upset a customer by having a laugh with another customer in his earshot. I made a joke, person I was speaking to laughed, person standing next to him took offence on his behalf (even though he took no offence at all). Very odd behaviour. He was barred by the end of the night, for reasons unknown he had a huge issue with me. Sadly he took him own life some years later so I now know there were potential MH issues at play but at the time I was so confused!

not me but my father -works for the council. has set areas to work in on set days. spent the day in one area next day the areas Councillor complained that he wasn't there and no work was done it was a disgrace etc. my father had proof as he has to video record alot of his work and also uses company vehicle which has tracking. 😅 a few weeks later same councillor rang in and was fiercely complimentary of the work my father did on the day very good job. my father wasn't there in that day no work was done as he had to swap to another area to help out for an emergency 😅🤣🤣

😂😂😃😂 cant stop laughing at this one. The things people come up with.

I worked at a catalogue showroom, someone bought an ironing board.
They wrote to the CEO to complain that I didn't provide a carrier bag.
I offered to tape a bag to the board incase they were going to another shop.
This was not good enough.

When I was a teenager I worked at a supermarket, I went to the sandwich shop next door on my lunch. A regular customer complained that he had seen me eating and knew I worked at the supermarket. He didn't think we should be allowed to eat if it meant anyone would have to queue to be served.

Funnily enough the same customer then complained when they introduced more self-service checkouts because he didn't want robots taking over from people 🙄