I crash and burn every busy period - do I quit and try to get a NMW job?

[Whatdoldo]

I work in a professional job earning c£50k FTE (but work part time hours). Theres a crunch point twice a year with important deadlines, and every time these roll around I’m a mess and unable to function so end up working all hours but really unproductively.

I’m such an over thinker and I just can’t cope with the thought of “I should have done this weeks ago” but then procrastinate because I’m already late but then this spirals because I’m worried about being behind, procrastinating and feeling dreadful.

This has happened over 20 years I’ve had similar jobs (different employers) which to me suggests I’m just terribly suited to the role.

Nothing else is similar without the deadlines, so I’m at square one if I do leave the industry.

I can’t help but think I just need a job that every day is a day of its own (shop work/fast food etc) and that one less than perfect day has no bearing on the next. This will come with a massive pay cut and so much less flexibility but I’m struggling so much I think I need to do it.

Has anyone done this and not regretted it?

I did it and I DID regret it.

On hindsight what I should have done was address my procrastination. Should have leant to prepare better and forward plan.

Honestly OP I would prioritise getting help with the issues you are having first and foremost, before you make any career decisions.

The main reason I say that is that you might well find that you change jobs for what you think will be less stressful for you, but actually most jobs do have an element of deadlines/crunch time/management issues, and so you’d potentially be facing the same issues, or worse, just with less pay and less flexibility this time.

As an example in my current role it is similar in that we have basically 2 times of year where there is a push to deadlines which is stressful- but it’s twice a year. When I was still at uni I worked other jobs for example one in a pub and one in a contact centre type environment and both of them had their own elements of stress and pressure but instead of twice a year it was every day or every week.

There really isn’t many jobs that don’t come with any level of stress or pressure or deadline, you would be best off working on those things before thinking of a new role.

Can you get a coach specifically around that time of year to help you make a different plan and change?

Agree with PP - in the end no matter where you work, you take you and your behaviours with you

How long did you struggle in your role before you quit?

And what did you regret?

This is really useful to hear and hearing about experiences is thought provoking.

Although I have considered quitting most deadlines, I have only done so twice (once with a job to go to, once without) and both times ended up in the same position at new employers doing effectively the same job and falling apart there too.

Thank you for your reply.

I really am just rock bottom. I suspect I’m finding this crunch harder because I’m the only one who can do the role. I definitely should be off sick, but if I go off sick now I’ll have a disaster to return to so I don’t feel I can. If I go off sick after the deadline, I’m just missing the part of work where the preparation is put in for the next deadline so I’d be behind from the start. I have been off sick in a previous role, but that was as part of a larger team where at least some of my work was coverable by the team and I still felt terrible.

I’ve had shop jobs in the past and definitely not found them stressful at all like this. Certain points in a day may be stressful, but when you go home at night I could always switch off. People and expectations may well have changed in the last 20 years though.

I would suggest you should work full time during busy periods, you're already putting in the hours, you may as well get paid for them. You might do better with dedicated time to focus.

A retail job isn't the cushy alternative you seem to think it is. Go into a supermarket around 3:30pm or a restaurant at lunch on a Saturday and you'll have a wake up call I think. Gone are the days of cashiers sitting down chatting to customers while scanning products, you'll likely be manning 6+ self checkout tills on your own and have to be on your feet all day.

I'm like this with every deadline, every Uni assignment was handed in with seconds to spare, Dissertation written up in 3 days rather than the 6 months I should have done it.
Recently job application started a week before hand in but then left it to finish and submit it and missed the deadline due to laptop restarting. Its a job Id been doing and was basically mine to lose but had to go through the official process but lose it I have. Fortunately I'll just go back to my normal job.

It's really fucking annoying and I don't do it on purpose Its like my brain only actually gets in gear between 8pm - midnight or I have to do a physical and responsive tile rather than desk / admin based. I'd be a good Post person but jobs like that are just paid so poorly.

I'm exactly the same and have no idea how stop the executive paralysis and procrastination. I'm just not made to have a job 😂

Unfortunately increasing my hours formally with my current employer isn’t an option, but I could look to move elsewhere doing the same job. It’s just hard to feel positive about trying again when I’ve already done the moving employer and hoping it would fix things and it didn’t.

In terms of retail jobs, I definitely don’t think they are cushty (I think that they are hard work for the pay, and often unsocial/difficult shift patterns) but I do think that the mental pressures would typically be more contained to within a work day.

However, my biggest concern is leaving and getting a NMW job and that it doesn’t help with the stress (but brings new challenges around money and working hours). It would probably be tricky to get back into the area in currently in even with a short break and it would be hard to explain why I left for a much lower paid job…. and then wanted back!

I'm a terrible procrastinator too. Also have a job with a lot of tight deadlines where I have to manage my own time. Can't seem to get my brain in gear to get projects finished until I am right up against it.

The only thing that helps is detailed diary planning, alerts, checklists etc and forcing myself to follow the prompts. I have also prepared detailed step by step process notes for all my regular tasks that enable me to follow along and tick off each stage of the process. Breaking projects up into smaller tasks in this way seems to help me to keep going.

Luckily my employer offers a lot of personal development training courses and one of them is a session on strategies to beat procrastination. I've now booked myself on it. Mind you, I did leave booking it to the last day before the closing date!

There's no guarantee that a lower paid job will be any less stressful.

If fact they're often worse because you have managers constantly on you back, customers having a paddy and the hours are not family friendly.

Is your work load actually achievable? Are you a "yes" person who takes on too much?

Have you done formal training or reading around strategies to prevent procrastinating? This is a learned skill.

Do you have ADHD characteristics?

I have similar issues and have recently realised I probably have ADHD. I know everyone is quick to jump to neurodiversity but if you’re struggling and it seems possible it might help to seek a formal diagnosis and medication

I agree. It can be equally stressful, and on top of that you’re bringing in much less money.
A relative of mine was in your situation. He felt burnt out, quit and went for a NMW job for less stress. Quit that because it was still stressful but in different ways. Ended up in a succession of badly paid boring jobs and hasn’t been happy in any of them.
Stresses of junior low paid jobs include lack of control, autonomy and authority, poorly trained supervisors and managers above you, lack of job security, little power to negotiate, rigid job conditions eg hours, boredom, frustration and lack of variety, and being treated like dirt by customers.
Please be very careful and think hard about what type of job might suit you if you do decide to make a drastic change.
A relatively simple job does suit some people. I’ve heard of someone retiring early from a high pressure job and being perfectly happy lifting a car park barrier all day!

I went from a job I enjoyed but hated the ( ever increasing) pressure of paperwork, boxticking exercises and crucial deadlines to a part time role on NMW and a supermarket job on over NMW.

It was great for a reboot but actually I really missed the money even though it was only £200 a month difference in the pay packet. It did help my mental health although it was tough physically and working for shit wages is not a great feeling. You really notice how many people get paid loads more for way less effort

In the end I left and I'm doing a similar job to my first in a different setting. The advantage us I'm not the least bit fussed about jacking it in if it's too much. So I don't worry about it anymore.

Thank you.

These realistic approaches that are so balanced are really helpful.

I do think that there is a risk that I take a lower paid job and still can’t switch off/find it difficult working under such set conditions, which would still cause stress.

I do think I might be more like the retired people and happy to do an “honest” job for a bit, but obviously as I am relatively young it’s very different to them in that they are doing it for pocket money and I would be doing it for income (although I am lucky that my husband can financially support our family easily on his current salary and we have several years worth of living expenses already saved just in case).

This. I have done years of lower paid jobs, both as a teenager and then not by choice after graduation when I was stuck in a rut, and they are stressful for this reason. You are earning 50K, you don't have to go to a minimum wage job, there are jobs in between if you are happy to take a pay cut. What is it that you do OP?

It’s a very specialist role in finance.

From what I see with other people working in more general finance (which is something I could probably move into on a higher than minimum wage), the general conditions would be the same - it’s an area filled with keen graduates so very competitive to “keen up” with their efforts given they work so many extra hours willingly.

The type of job that appeals to me really is the type of job that you go to work, work hard, go home and forget about work type. I’ve probably idealised, but I was thinking in retail there isn’t any option but to what you are told and then leave at the end of the day (without the mental guilt of “only” working what you were meant to).

I am like this and it's an ND issue for me. Adhd medication helps a lot. I can't tolerate taking it every day so I take it strategically on certain workdays. It sounds like you're financially comfortable with your dh's salary so I'd invest in a thorough assessment of the problem and targeted therapy and coaching. It can really help.

Lots of people are crap at their jobs and just take the money.

Maybe you're just naturally a last minute person, it's your work style. Or undiagnosed ADHD or autism.

I think you've got into a pattern of guilt tripping yourself. "I'm a failure so if I work in retail no one will notice". It seems a stress issue.

Why not work on the mental aspects? It's challenging getting a mainstream adult diagnosis for ADHD. But people have done it.

Students get supplements online sometimes for focus, have a google.

Or you could work out to tackle the tasks.

1. Write what needs to be done on a yearly planner like a Gant chart
2. Break task into smaller specific tasks
3. Put those on planner along with deadlines for submission etc.
4. When the deadlines come round, that's when the smaller tasks need to be finished and completed to a "good enough" standard. Then you move on.
5. Cover yourself with paperwork etc but don't need to be perfect?

Are you actually ever being disciplined for anything work related, or is it just your headspace?

You might want to unpick if it's anxiety or if you're doing too much or been allocated too much work or if you are doing things because you think they need to be done, not because anyone cares. Think quiet quitting.

A lot of men just do the basic to get it done and move on, they don't do the extras. No emotional labour or cognitive load.

If you're going to drastically fail at your role, then you may as well do it badly for a few years and get sacked. You'll save more money that way and/or get a payoff or gardening leave.

Retail is really challenging, and can be an incredibly immature and toxic environment.

Especially if you've come from a professional job or background, and your face doesn't quite fit, your managers and colleagues may end up resenting you and making your life a misery.

I am ND and have a target driven pressured career. It does help to a degree having the deadlines but it's managing the run up and the routine. I personally think it's the kind of thing that it would be well worth paying a coach - there are lots out there now - to work with you on. Logically , jacking in a whole career is a pretty black and white drastic step, but investing a small amount short term in a coach might help you make it work. It may be that you transition to something else but far easier to do that from the place of being in a good pay job.
I'm about to go back into a pressured role and I will 100% be having a coach.

The biggest stress of my entire life (other than death, divorce) has been lack of money.
Think very very carefully about this.

Something happened 20 years ago, or maybe earlier in your life, relating to making decisions - can you put your finger on what it was?

Thank you for your thoughts, these replies are really helping me consider things.

I don’t think I have ADHD, I do think I would probably be diagnosed autistic if I had an assessment.

I think the part I struggle with most is “balancing all the plates” at once and putting down and picking up jobs all the time is so hard for me and I’m terrible at prioritising (or I think I’ve prioritised, but end up having totally left something else too late).

I just want to be told what to do and do it - micromanaged to the extreme. If someone could feed me each task that I need to do with my current job I’d love the technical side only, I just can’t manage the admin/organisation at all (which is half the job!).

I think that as with travel we take ourselves / our problems wherever we go.

i struggle with work too at times, but having witnessed a parent move repeatedly and encounter more problems, for less pay and worse circumstances for themself and the whole family I try hard to maintain stability.

If your current employer isn’t paying reasonable overtime that’s crap and would look to move employers again.

would look for mental health help about handling the peaks of work.

poorly paid jobs with poorer terms and conditions would be stressful in other ways, eg hours uncertain, dealing with the public, financial insecurity.

i personally find working full time less stressful overall than part time.