Work situation ruining my life.

[Hyperfish808]

yes that’s dramatic but so true. Will try and keep short.

I work in a large public sector organisation where I have been for 10 years. I am experienced and well qualified. I am almost 60 and have over 30 years of previous related experience. I currently find myself in a horrible situation at work and don’t know where to turn.

My manager is awful horrible toxic bully. However I am struggling to find another job that pays the same and I can’t afford a wage reduction for family reasons. I’ve been in my organisation for 10 years and have been constantly passed over for promotion with no explanation while interesting roles are given to her mates. You question her and she bites back. Hard. It’s making me ill.

i am in a union but I know that raising a grievance rarely ends well in our organisation. The culture comes from above and HR are useless. So I’m stuck here. She knows I want out. I applied for a reduction in hours as 3 days a week better than 5.. My thought being I could draw a small pension I have from a previous job to make up the shortfall but she won’t let me. Some bullshit about business need and despite my company flexible working policy, it’s ultimately the manager’s decision. Truth is I honestly think she likes to keep me in my place and just wants me to leave.

I have no idea why she is like this to me. I work hard. What can I do? It’s destroying me. I’m ashamed that I can’t stand up to her as a mature experienced professional. But this is where it’s got me to. If I could fully retire I would but just can’t afford it.

Does anyone have any suggestions please?

This is excellent advice. Having been bullied at work it stopped the minute I stood up to the bully. Did it in a public place where they could not retaliate and it stopped right there and then. Could you do the same? Whose opinion do they care most about and wouldn't want to be regarded as a bully by? Maybe students or PhD students? It's awful that these people are allowed to get away with it for so long.

Keep taking the money is the best revenge. It is not going to change . Leaving is what she wants. Easy for me to say as I know it can be unbearable to be unhappy at work every day . But you have been given good advice here . Other people do know what is going on but it is a toxic environment to work in .

Sideways move within organisation? Start networking and put feelers out if you can.

You need to limit contact with her and care less. Focus on your work being 100% so you can't be pulled up. Do everything she says to the letter. No disagreements and keep your head down until something else comes up. Basically take your focus off her.

Thanks all. Really helped getting this advice.

Going to consider my options.

Keeping my head down and drawing my salary is an option. She wants me to leave clearly. Staying a good revenge if I can don that Teflon coat.

in the meantime will follow up with HR and union again.

Entirely feasible that the part time request is refused as a way to push OP out.

So nope nothing “in the water” just a I have had different life experience to others and therefore have a different opinion.

Weird how some folk find different points of view so challenging to comprehend. 🤯

Just to say solidarity @Hyperfish808 - I also work in HE and a lot of what you describe really resonates.