Telling me to go to my GP

[BunnyVV]

Having a few issues at work. Too long-winded to go into. My work is not suffering. In short, there is some in my team who makes me cry as they are disruptive. (HR investigating, will
probably come to nothing).
As a result, my boss is keeps telling me there’s something wrong and I need to see my GP. I am under the care of my GP for a particular issue that is not straight-forward and I am having tests. It doesn’t prevent me from working. I work cross/functionally with a lot of people all of whom like me and all is ok (but busy). I am managing a heavily operational role and doing fine. Not dropping any balls.

i get she needs to say it once to cover her duty of care for my well-being.

However, every time I cry my boss emails me with her opinion that I need to go to my GP. I keep telling my boss that I have received the instruction from her and HR to speak to my GP, and I have a blood test booked. I feel that this means I am under the care of my GP. I don’t want to go again in case my GP signs me off work for stress. I don’t want to be signed off. I like my job and I am good at it.

my boss keeps emailing me telling me she thinks I should make an appointment with my GP about the fact I keep crying. I confirm I have received the instruction and I feel it’s being addressed in the wider issue where I’m already having tests. She then repeats by sending another email stating that she thinks I need to tell my GP specifically about the crying, but that it’s 100% my decision what I do.

I agree it’s 100% my decision what I do and I ask her to stop sending me emails telling me I should go to my GP again.
She may not agree with my decision but it is what I have decided.

at what point is she overstepping the mark by sending another email to justify her request that I see my GP?

she is starting to make me feel uncomfortable.

i have said I am happy to see the company doctor if they make me an appointment. But please can she stop emailing me about seeing my GP.
I would gladly go to an appointment with the company doctor and they can do any test they like and ask me any questions they like.

Yes say the GP says there's no evidence of depression, just that the situation is genuinely unsettling and your reactions are not a sign of mental health issues

Having said that, this is not a sustainable situation. You are going to end up managed out if you don't control your reaction or fix the issue.

I would say look for another job tbh. Sounds like you're very done with this place.

Yes, I agree with this. It sounds like they're getting their ducks in a row OP. I would seek union rep support.

3 times in that timeframe is a lot OP. For context I've been working for 25 years and I've never cried at work once. I think your manager is right to be concerned. As to how often she should message you about it? Well I think every time you cry is reasonable. The problem is that rightly or wrongly, it effects everyone else too because it will create an atmosphere. Have you explained your reasons to your manager?

But, if the crying is continuing, and you appear to be taking no action to address it, then she would be right to ask until she feels you are taking steps to address it.

Responding you've booked a blood test (when, how long is it taking?) doesn't tell me you are doing anything to address it.

If it is firmly due to the grievence, then be very clear to her, that you have addressed this with the GP already and that the grievence is the issue, so she should work with HR to ensure they are not dropping the ball and plan to address the issue.

She also said that it’s for another issue.

and if their boss isn’t daft, they’ll have seen through that.

Exactly this.

It’s not appropriate to be crying at work and you need to do one of two things:

1. if you routinely cry at work, find a different way of managing feelings of stress and frustration whilst at work - it’s not any more acceptable to say that this is just how you process difficult emotions than it would be if you were exhibiting aggressive behaviour in those circumstances. You need to exhibit some self control as it’s unfair on your colleagues to behave in the way you are doing. As a side note, you line manage the individual who is pressing your buttons so you need to deal with the problem they are creating. That’s not your boss’s job. HR if you have one can support you but it’s not their job either.
2. if this is exceptional behaviour, you do need to speak to your GP and accept help. Crying repeatedly in public is a real danger sign for serious mental health conditions so don’t let things deteriorate even more. Get some help.

whichever of these you choose, you need to tell your boss because currently you are the problem at work for your boss not your colleague and you could well find that the next step is for your boss to move to performance management of you.

You and your manager are having two different conversations. You are talking about a physical health issue that is under investigation. She is asking you to see your GP about your mental health.

It isn’t usually to cry at work so she has a point if this is happening repeatedly.

How do you see the situation resolving OP, because it's not sustainable if you're crying every other day.

3 times in less than 2 weeks is a lot.

If my staff member had cried 3 times in 8 working days, I would be asking them to stay off on sick leave and see the GP for mental health support.

Blood tests are unlikely to explain why you keep crying. So I can see why your boss keeps asking you what you're doing re speaking to the GP.

You also need to go to HR about the team member. I get it, I have a team member that is causing me a huge amount of stress and I wish I'd never employed him but I'm not crying about it. You need to stop crying, and act professionally and follow process.

They keep asking you to see your GP because things aren't improving. You can't just go to work and cry all the time and expect your boss to just say "okay".

You may get yourself in a situation where your manager asks you not to come in until things have improved - which really isn't what you want.

My boss said the same to me in similar circumstances- I was crying weekly. Diagnosed with depression and treatment changed my life

It sounds like you'd benefit from your GP's help.