New job and work trip yes or no

[MotherofBoysandDragons]

I have been offered a job I never thought I'd get. It's two steps up from my current role and it excites and scares me at the same time.

It would mean so much more financially for my family (8yo and 3yo and husband). Though, it would mean going back to a 5 days job (3 in the office 2 from home).

I have been informed the first week would be a trip abroad for 4 days in March. I haven't left my 3yo for more than 1 night before and he's very clingy with me at night.

For this reason I am thinking to turn down the job. Everything else about the job excites me. My husband thinks I should just go. It will be a one off and not regular.

Thoughts??? Thanks so much

Amazing. So glad you have a supportive husband and I'm really pleased mine is being done good about it all. He knows I've put myself on hold the last 8-9 years. He's more excited than I am! (Hopefully it lasts through those four days of solo parenting 😂)

You sound very open minded OP. You will make a good employee! The company will be pleased to have you!
Good luck!

Thank you 😊 appreciate all the advice.

Just don't over think it.

A man wouldn't.

We women always do.

But everyone will be just fine and you will be on the ascending escalator of life instead of on the humdrum, same-old pedestrian walkway.

Truly transformational and with literally no downside.

Amazing. So glad you have a supportive husband and I'm really pleased mine is being done good about it all. He knows I've put myself on hold the last 8-9 years. He's more excited than I am! (Hopefully it lasts through those four days of solo parenting 😂)

They'll be fine!! It will be good for all of them.
Both me and DH travel and often to long haul destinations which mean trips can be 10 days - two weeks. We've all survived and DS doesn't bat an eyelid as he's so used to one of us being away.

Congratulations on the job.
Another advantage of going away for a few days is that it means that the children get used to their dad doing more stuff so there is less of them expecting and calling you as the main parent. Hopefully DH will also appreciate how much you do at home...

When you’re thinking about what is best for your child, as a mum you need to think not just about your child now but also your child in the future.

Sounds like this job will have a real impact on your family’s finances, which in turn will allow your children more stability. It’ll help with things like life experiences, opportunities and financial support as they move into adulthood.

Its hard to be a man in todays world but growing up with a mum with a career of her own and a dad who can parent solo whilst she is away is a great role model for doing it.

Both pretty important in my view so I’m team take the job!

Just go! Long and short term it'll be good for everyone in your family. Your young DC will be able to build a good bond with daddy, your DH will appreciate you even more than he already does and your career options will be way better long term. You would be crazy to give that up because of one four-day trip.

Wow this!!

Thank you so much for your perspective. Yes to all your points, given me a lot of clarity.

Shake off the imposter syndrome quickly - it'll do you no good. You got the job on merit- peope hire for success rather than charities reasons. They hired you because you can add value & they know you can do the job - simple as.

You have a supportive husband- he's able to look after his own child for 4 days.

There are many ways of putting your children first and usually balance is the best way. You are taking career steps which will give them a better quality of life longer term.

You also need a more encouraging network of women around you. Ones who encourage rather than discourage - a little more supportive- like your husband.

I have a job with fairly regular overseas travel, which I've been doing since DS was 4 .(He's 13 now).
I did and do still worry about being away, especially if it's a long trip, but the benefits do outweigh that. At the age he is now DS really appreciates that while he'd like me to have been a stay at home mum, he also really likes our finances allowing for a nice home, various clubs and activities, fab holidays and days out etc.
He also appreciates that with the flexibility afforded by hybrid working I've been to every sports day, school play etc - which would have been much harder in a standard office type job.
Take the opportunity, enjoy the financial security and hybrid work - it's 4 days away to gain all of that!

Great for you, great for getting DP to step up, great for DC’s independence. Literally no downside. Do it!

My then-3 year old perked up a LOT when he realised I brought back presents from trips abroad. He's now 5 and barely even notices when one of us isn't here.

Thank you. I'm pleased to hear about your long term experience and the short term uncertainty being common.

Go for it. When I returned to work when my daughter was six months old my first two days were a training session a short flight away. The thought of it was much worse than the reality.

Go for it

Similar - I first got the impression this was regularly weekly travel not pretty much a one off

My DH is a great father and the DC grumble at times but are fine with both of us travelling up to 2 weeks away

It’s a great opportunity and if you are worrying about the impact - because you are worrying I imagine you will already be spending good quality time with your DC already and it will be great for them to see you step up and be successful in your new role

btw - you wouldn’t have been asked to do the job if they didn’t believe you can do it

I travel to Asia and the states on occasion for work and because of the distance it’s usually minimum 7/10 days though I have done 2 weeks before. The first time I went I was so hesitant leaving the children and tbh if DH hadn’t been supportive there’s no way I would have gone. But he actively encouraged me to go. As he said see the world on someone else’s dollar and have some time for yourself. I was worried about everything being done and it all left to DH but as he pointed out he also travels so where’s the difference. Looking back I’m so glad I went. My kids aren’t a bit bothered I’m gone cos it means Daddy rules (who’s generally more lenient than me) and they cant wait for the obligatory gifts when I get home

Don't be ridiculous OP (said kindly!) Of course you must go for it. Brilliant you have a supportive DH as well.

ETA I transferred to another country when my DD was 4. The promotion and future roles were too good to turn down. DH jacked in his job and moved too. It gave us so many opportunities as a family and, despite the travel, long hours and stress, I wouldn't change a thing.

That's wonderful for you and so glad it worked out.

Your experience gives me so much more confidence