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Original poster

New job and work trip yes or no

70 replies

MotherofBoysandDragons · 13/01/2025 20:21

I have been offered a job I never thought I'd get. It's two steps up from my current role and it excites and scares me at the same time.

It would mean so much more financially for my family (8yo and 3yo and husband). Though, it would mean going back to a 5 days job (3 in the office 2 from home).

I have been informed the first week would be a trip abroad for 4 days in March. I haven't left my 3yo for more than 1 night before and he's very clingy with me at night.

For this reason I am thinking to turn down the job. Everything else about the job excites me. My husband thinks I should just go. It will be a one off and not regular.

Thoughts??? Thanks so much

OP posts:
CountingDownToSummer · 13/01/2025 21:55

Would you think your DH was being selfish if he had to go away for work?
I think it is an amazing opportunity, your work obviously think you are capable, your DH is obviously capable of looking after his own child and your child will he fine. Even if they aren't your DH is there to deal with it

Thethingswedoforlove · 13/01/2025 21:56

Future you will thank today you so so much for making this decision if you do decide to take the job.

Nextyearhopes · 13/01/2025 21:57

Kindly OP, your child is not a delicate newborn and it is time he learned some resilience and you need to put yourself first a bit. This is a fantastic opportunity for you and your family, you have a good, able husband to care for the children. You would be utterly mad to turn it down for this reason.

Original poster
MotherofBoysandDragons · 13/01/2025 21:57

persisted · 13/01/2025 21:53

You can't give up on all of that opportunity for 4 days! Easy doesn't necessarily mean good, we develop when we're pushed a bit. Go for it, they'll be fine. Otherwise you'll spend your whole life thinking what if....

That's my constant thought. The what if Vs the fear (for my youngest mostly). I know he will find it hard but it's four days and I'll be back. I even thought about flying them out with me!

OP posts:
Original poster
MotherofBoysandDragons · 13/01/2025 21:58

Nextyearhopes · 13/01/2025 21:57

Kindly OP, your child is not a delicate newborn and it is time he learned some resilience and you need to put yourself first a bit. This is a fantastic opportunity for you and your family, you have a good, able husband to care for the children. You would be utterly mad to turn it down for this reason.

True. It's the thought of it all. Just a bit overwhelmed but you're right.

OP posts:
Original poster
MotherofBoysandDragons · 13/01/2025 22:00

CountingDownToSummer · 13/01/2025 21:55

Would you think your DH was being selfish if he had to go away for work?
I think it is an amazing opportunity, your work obviously think you are capable, your DH is obviously capable of looking after his own child and your child will he fine. Even if they aren't your DH is there to deal with it

He hasn't really had to do it but that's true. If he did have to we wouldn't even think twice. My kids are Incredibly clingy with me. It's probably healthy that this was changed somewhat. If he needs support he has my mother in law fairly locally too. Thanks for the reality check.

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FacingTheWall · 13/01/2025 22:01

MotherofBoysandDragons · 13/01/2025 21:57

That's my constant thought. The what if Vs the fear (for my youngest mostly). I know he will find it hard but it's four days and I'll be back. I even thought about flying them out with me!

Show quote history

He might find it hard, and he might be upset, but it’s ok for kids to experience uncomfortable feelings and he’ll have his daddy there, it’s not like you’re abandoning him with strangers!!

WednesdaysChild25 · 13/01/2025 22:02

And you’ve got a good few weeks before you go so you can start putting subtle changes in place without the little one noticing

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 13/01/2025 22:03

I took a job like that when my youngest was 3. It took me way out of my comfort zone in many ways. I remember it being really scary, and feeling all the guilt.

It's now 16 years later and I'm so grateful I took that job. It revitalised my career and meant that I got to do all sorts of interesting and well-paid things, including being able to go self-employed when my husband had to travel non-stop and my kids really did need me around for a while during difficult middle school years.

Original poster
MotherofBoysandDragons · 13/01/2025 22:05

WednesdaysChild25 · 13/01/2025 22:02

And you’ve got a good few weeks before you go so you can start putting subtle changes in place without the little one noticing

Yes I was thinking OH can do more bedtimes to just get him used to it. Means I could spend more time with my eldest too who craves more mummy time in the evenings.

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Original poster
MotherofBoysandDragons · 13/01/2025 22:07

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 13/01/2025 22:03

I took a job like that when my youngest was 3. It took me way out of my comfort zone in many ways. I remember it being really scary, and feeling all the guilt.

It's now 16 years later and I'm so grateful I took that job. It revitalised my career and meant that I got to do all sorts of interesting and well-paid things, including being able to go self-employed when my husband had to travel non-stop and my kids really did need me around for a while during difficult middle school years.

Thank you for sharing. I'm really pleased for you. I was thinking similarly. If I do this now, it will move me to another level in my career which means I could make alternate decisions long term including more freedom for home working and freelancing or consulting.

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SerenityNowSerenityNow · 13/01/2025 22:07

You should definitely go!

I did my first international trip when DS was 3. He was fine and now, aged 10, he gets excited about my travels and it's just part of our lives.

Huskytrot · 13/01/2025 22:08

museumum · 13/01/2025 21:45

You’d be crazy to turn it down. This is just the part of your brain that wants to stay in your comfort zone trying to offer you a way out. Don’t take it.

This.

Go for it.

You will be anxious in the build up. But then 4 days is nothing in the grand scheme of things and you'll probably have an absolute blast!

Babbitbaddit · 13/01/2025 22:09

Might be worth checking how often these trips are before accepting this job.

Original poster
MotherofBoysandDragons · 13/01/2025 22:10

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 13/01/2025 22:07

You should definitely go!

I did my first international trip when DS was 3. He was fine and now, aged 10, he gets excited about my travels and it's just part of our lives.

My eldest (8yo) is super proud and excited about my travels too. I've only done 1-2 nights historically but that was mostly before COVID and my second child. Thanks it's really helping me feel more comfortable and empowered by it. It's really hard as a mum to put yourself first.

OP posts:
Huskytrot · 13/01/2025 22:10

Nextyearhopes · 13/01/2025 21:57

Kindly OP, your child is not a delicate newborn and it is time he learned some resilience and you need to put yourself first a bit. This is a fantastic opportunity for you and your family, you have a good, able husband to care for the children. You would be utterly mad to turn it down for this reason.

This.

Don't do yourself the disservice of thinking they can't cope without you. They can and they will and you will ALL be better for it

cestlavielife · 13/01/2025 22:10

Your ds will be with his daddy.
Go and relax

fiorentina · 13/01/2025 22:11

Definitely take it! Your husband can look after your DC and they will be fine. This is a great opportunity, go for it!

Aydel · 13/01/2025 22:11

Do it. All of my jobs have involved travel. DH stepped in seamlessly. It wasn’t an issue.

Echobelly · 13/01/2025 22:12

Don't turn it down, there's no need to be a martyr for your child. You child has another parent, he's not a babysitter, he is his father!

Original poster
MotherofBoysandDragons · 13/01/2025 22:12

Babbitbaddit · 13/01/2025 22:09

Might be worth checking how often these trips are before accepting this job.

True. First question I asked. As it's a new initiative this is a big launch conference with the EMEA team. It might be 1-2 nights annually from next year but this is a one off I've been told. Good point though

OP posts:
Original poster
MotherofBoysandDragons · 13/01/2025 22:13

Echobelly · 13/01/2025 22:12

Don't turn it down, there's no need to be a martyr for your child. You child has another parent, he's not a babysitter, he is his father!

Never thought of it like that. So valid

OP posts:
Thethingswedoforlove · 13/01/2025 22:13

Jobs are really hard to get at the moment btw op. You are clearly an amazing woman. But don’t turn this one down lightly….

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 13/01/2025 22:15

My eldest (8yo) is super proud and excited about my travels too. I've only done 1-2 nights historically but that was mostly before COVID and my second child. Thanks it's really helping me feel more comfortable and empowered by it. It's really hard as a mum to put yourself first.

I got promoted recently and my DS was the only other person in the house when I found out so I told him ..... his first question was 'does that mean you'll stop travelling' when said no his reaction was 'thank goodness, I was looking forward to hearing about Japan' 😂😂😂

It's absolutely fine to prioritise yourself and your career sometimes. Good luck OP

Original poster
MotherofBoysandDragons · 13/01/2025 22:15

Thethingswedoforlove · 13/01/2025 22:13

Jobs are really hard to get at the moment btw op. You are clearly an amazing woman. But don’t turn this one down lightly….

Thank you so much. I'm honestly shocked but also really proud of myself for getting something such a step up. I was going for roles more on par with my current position and I tried for this with a competitor not having any idea id ever get it. I was completely confused when they called me Friday to tell me the news. Really pleased.

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