Second referee needed but can't be friend/family member help!

[Totallybannanas]

My ds is applying for a job that needs a professional reference due to security clearance. They have to have known him for more then 3 years, be employed and in an professional job eg doctor, dentist, estate agent or previous employer etc. Its just to declare they know then and that they consider them to be honest, discreet etc. His previous job was a fast food chain, so managers have changed plus he wasn't there for 3 years and he wasn't hhis best self then but has not matured,. His head of year has signed one, and I have friends who are in professional roles. However, the criteria says they can't be a friend or family member and the form asks how they know said person. Obviously they are my friends not his, what can we put in the box to say how they know him? To be honest the criteria rules alot of people out and he is I my 20.

Sorry for the typos forgot to put my glasses on!

Family doctor, family solicitor, bank if he has a bank account.

Yes he does have those but it's almost impossible to get anyone to complete the form, plus they don't actually know him which is the strange thing! Plus don't think doctor will do it these days.

The bank can't do a character reference.

I think a friend of the family (vs. one of his schoolmates) and who is in a professional role potentially could do it.

Also a GP, former teacher, club leader (scouts or similar, if also in another professional role) could work.

When did estate agents start being lauded as standup members of society??

Can he get a second one from school? Or a hobby he’s done? I think they like people in professional roles because they’re easier to verify (members of regulated professional bodies).

A friend of yours/the family who has known him for more than three years is fine.

I don’t think being members of professional body is a comment on the individuals character and standing in society! Buying and selling of houses is massively regulated owing to money laundering risk. So I would suspect estate agents have been security checked to some level themselves and maybe need to be in a professional body to be able to practice like doctors, vets, lawyers etc .

Your professional friends will be fine. Another teacher would be an option too.

Has he discussed his situation with the recruiter? They will usually accept character references where professional references aren't available.

Neighbours?

Yes, this.

he is I my 20. Do you mean he is 20yrs old, or still at school???

His dentist
Another teacher
Past clubs or sports he attended, coach?

That's the point of using regulated professionals as references, though - they are seen as having integrity that goes along with upholding their professional standards. 'Standup members of society' vs. having 'standing in society'. Anyway, was tongue in cheek - have yet to meet an EA that showed great integrity...!

Do you know any of your neighbours and their jobs?
At your ds age they are not going to want War and Peace just a generic reference stating that they know him.
I'd definitely ask around the neighbours

@Totallybannanas Dr will usually do it but for a fee these days

What about another teacher in school he knew well?
Any sports or clubs, scouts etc he's been involved with he could ask the leader.
What about your neighbours?

He said he can't use another teacher, we had judo coach who was going to do an it but it needs to be done asap and he isn't away 😭. I assume a business owner could do it too.do you think? My neighbour owns a garage.

Sorry judo coach is away! Other people we know are retired. My friend is a speech and language therapist.

All they're doing is confirming they know him presumably? So a friend of yours who has known him for the requisite period is fine. They aren't asking them to be bffs just to confirm that he is who he says he is and that they're not aware of a reason he shouldn't be cleared.

Any other of her teachers?
Any of her mates parents?
Any of your mates?
Family members that are not direct and have different surnames, like cousins?
Owner of local shop/cafe she uses regularly?
Dentist/ therapist / holistic practitioner she uses?

I did one for my neighbour. We just ignored the 'can't be friends' bit.

Would they accept a retired person? They would usually still have standing if they were in a regulated profession.

Family friend, ie a friend of yours who knows your DS, would be fine. There would be next to nobody who could fit the criteria otherwise.

Your friends are not his friends.

The form doesn't want any professional workers who are his friends to sign it.

A 40/50yo speech and language therapist who happened to be a friend of yours won't be seen as an odd signatory.

Head teacher

DD would be the same. She keeps using the same tutors, and is very aware it is asking a lot. So she tries to use others, if appropriate, like very old friends of family, parents of her older sibling, for example, who knew her well and for a long time and are business owners.

It becomes increasingly more difficult as family doctors don't exist, nor do family dentists. We do actually have a neighbour solicitor, who also carries a big load of references for the family, but again, she doesn't charge, so you feel awkward using her all the time. Casual work or volunteering means lack of referees there too. It's really tricky.